


Louise's Angels

by Jsyrin, Rex_Lupin



Series: ToZverse [2]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Parahumans Series - Wildbow, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition, ゼロの使い魔 | Zero no Tsukaima | The Familiar of Zero
Genre: All Ree Are Perverts, Angelifying Shenanigans, Armchair Therapy, Bad Decisions, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Cauldron Being Cauldron, Deescalation, Dimension Travel, Dysfunctional Family, Escalation, Everyone Has Issues, F/F, Face-Heel Turn, Flashback Sequence, Four Horsemen, Gen, Getting Killed Results In Getting Collared, Government Forcing People To Watch Anime, Increasing Levels Of Meta, Ireul is at the verge of an aneurysm, It Gets Worse, Killing Despots For Fun And Profit, Mind Control, Mob Mentality, Mook Horror Show, Morbid Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, QA is Best Shard, Rammstein lyrics, Reckless Behavior, Reformed Endbringers, Resurrection, Sequel/Spinoff, Serious Talks, Short Timeskip, Streamer Ziz, Taylor Is A Good Big Sister, That's what we call when someone runs in and gets themselves killed, Time Shenanigans, Ultimatums, Warning: Includes Ree, Yui Ikari Being Horny, actions have consequences, being Piggot is suffering, little zizter, mentions of depression, mentions of suicidal ideation, vague shady plots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:22:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 35
Words: 62,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22585567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jsyrin/pseuds/Jsyrin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rex_Lupin/pseuds/Rex_Lupin
Summary: Asuka and Bardiel are done with their 'Vacation' from conflict, so naturally they will go to seek some more in a different world. And they rope in one of Bardiel's older sisters. And an Ayanami.They end up in Worm.Oh no.(Now with an actual list of Angel names: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RD4YdVceBpmA46Y-aaxF3NJIst8nL1fkqTYzKqMqmRA/edit?usp=sharing )
Relationships: Dragon/Colin Wallis | Armsmaster | Defiant, Rei I (NGE)/Rei I (Rebuild)
Series: ToZverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625149
Comments: 32
Kudos: 134





	1. 1.1

“Why are we doing this?” the woman asked dryly.

“ _ You _ are doing this because you decided we needed a chaperone,” the other woman shot back. “ _ We _ are doing it because we are fucking bored and want to fight something for once.”

Kyuu Ayanami rolled her eyes. Honestly, what had she expected, hanging around the Angels? “Being your chaperone wasn’t  _ my _ decision,” she pointed out.

“Oh, I know!” chirped the third woman. “It was because Tzadky-chan refused to let me out of Lilith’s sight without an Ayanami presence and you were the only one without a boyfriend!”

Kyuu rubbed her temples. “Raziel, I’m  _ borderline asexual. _ Boyfriends don’t even factor into this!”

The final so far unnamed woman let out a shout of triumph. “We have a connection! It should stay stable for  _ just _ long enough for us to slip through!”

Raziel bounced on the spot. “Then what are we waiting for, Bardi-chan? Let’s  _ go! _ ”

Kyuu found her wrist being grabbed. She had only the time to yelp, before she was pulled into a vortex of streaking colors and flashing lights. It felt like a second, and like an eternity. As soon as it began, though, it was over, and she was falling from the sky.

Kyuu sighed, before reorienting herself with her AT-field. Some glances showed Captain Shikinami (ret.) in her Bardiel configuration, whooping with joy, and Raziel flailing around in human configuration, trying to align her AT-fields. Kyuu rolled her eyes and caught the Angel in human form with her own AT-field. “Careful,” she scolded. “I know you’re a ground-bound Angel, but try to not panic.”

“I’m tryyyinnnnnng,” the Angel whined. “It’s not  _ wor-king! _ ”

Sighing heavily, Kyuu slowed to a halt mid-air, gently catching Raziel in a bridal carry. “I’m starting to see why you need an Ayanami presence, Raziel,” she groused. “Here.”

_ [D A T A] _

The Angel blinked for a moment, before grabbing Kyuu into a hug. “Thank you thank you thank you~~!”

Kyuu rolled her eyes. “Moron,” she ribbed.

<>

"So where exactly did we end up, exactly?" Kyuu demanded pretty much as soon as they landed, which just so happened to be on top of a skyscraper. "Aside from 'in a city'. I can tell that much, at least. Where did you point us, Shikinami?" 

Asuka, back in her human form, shrugged. "I went random. Bardiel and I picked one parameter each, and we just let the magic select the destination. Why?" 

Kyuu felt like she was on the verge of an aneurysm. "Fuck's sake, no wonder you lot needed a chaperone!" she hissed. "Dare I ask what you selected as the parameters in the first place?!" 

Bardiel grew out of Asuka's shoulder and shrugged. "For what it's worth, I picked 'Earth'," she contributed. 

"And I picked 'rife with conflict'," Asuka added. "I was done with the vacation anyway." 

Kyuu contemplated murder for a solid several minutes. 

The symbiosis patted Kyuu on the shoulder and grinned. "Anyway, I'm going for a rooftop run. See ya!" And before the Nephilim could protest, Asuka flung herself off the roof and disappeared from sight. 

Kyuu Looked at Raziel. "And you?" she asked sardonically. 

The Angel thought for a moment. She then shifted into her snake-like Angel form, albeit a lot smaller than usual, and skittered off into the night. 

Kyuu pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned. She then covered herself in the familiar red glow of her AT-field and blasted off into the night sky, keeping an eye out for her idiotic companions. 

She flew aimlessly for ten or more minutes, before stopping. Was that fire, below? She took a closer look, lensing her AT-field to zoom in. 

A large man was slowly turning into a dragon. Kyuu rubbed her eyes and looked again. Yep, that was still happening. Before her eyes, the dragon-man jumped onto a roof with a single bound. Kyuu looked closer. There was someone there! A teenage girl... 

Kyuu didn't think. She dropped from the sky.

Adjusting her trajectory with her AT-field, she  _ slammed  _ into the dragon-man heel-first, bleeding her momentum into the point of contact. The result was both spectacular and in line with her calculations; the man was launched  _ into  _ and  _ through  _ the roof, leaving her floating above the hole in the crimson glow of her soul. 

Kyuu dusted imaginary specks from her shoulders and smiled at the girl she'd just prevented from being barbecued. "Hello there! Are you... okay..." She trailed off, taking in the fact that the girl in front of her was clad in an oddly organic armor and mask. Kyuu blinked. "...You looked far less armored from above." 

The unknown girl took a step back, body language on par with the ADAM at his most awkward. "I... He said he was going to kill kids. I couldn't let that happen." Her voice was oddly calm, in direct contrast with her stance. She honestly reminded Kyuu of a large insect? Yeah, that was an appropriate comparison. 

**_"ILLLL OOOOU!!!"_ **

Kyuu looked down. "Talk later!" was what she managed to bite out, before she was tackled by a fireball. Was it her imagination, or was the dragon  _ bigger?  _

She slashed down with the Light of her Soul. The dragon found itself without an arm for a brief moment, before immediately beginning regeneration. Kyuu winced as the heat was becoming... more than a little uncomfortable, if she were honest. 

The dragon slammed her into the street below, knocking the wind out of her. Crap. This was deteriorating rapidly. 

Kyuu  _ pushed  _ with her Soul, flinging the fiery lizard  _ off  _ of her, while desperately trying to get air back in her lungs. Damn it. She had no other choice but to ask for help, did she? 

The dragon launched itself at her as she dived out of its path, gathering all possible variations of  _ get your asses over here  _ into a single concept and sending it out as a desperate ping of 

_ [ H E L P ]  _

A beat. The dragon roared.

Another. Kyuu raised her AT-field. 

A third. An enormous hand reached down from the skies, plucking the dragon by the nape of its neck like a disobedient kitten. 

Kyuu let out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding. Then she wrapped herself in the Light of her Soul and lifted herself to the roof, hoping that Insect Girl was still there. 

She was. 

Kyuu alighted on the roof. "Hey. It's later now." 

The insect girl pointed upwards. "What the fuck is that?" Her voice was still amazingly calm, but there was a buzzing sound, somewhere in the vicinity, peeking through the edge of the girl's voice. 

Kyuu reached up to massage the bridge of her nose, then winced as her arm twinged painfully. Right. Just fought a dragon. Damn it. 

"That's Asuka, showing off," she provided. " _ Please  _ don't tell her I was actually worried about not pulling through, by the way. Her ego doesn't need any more fuel." 

The insect girl nodded jerkily. "...Changer?" she asked. "But I haven't heard of any Cape going that big... Are you guys new?" 

Kyuu mulled over the terminology for a bit. "Sounds about right." She extended her hand. "Ayanami Kyuu. Nice to meet you." 

Insect girl took her hand, seeming nonplussed. "Likewise. I, uh, haven't thought of a name yet... Sorry." 

Kyuu blanked for a moment. "People go nameless until they think of one they like? This world is  _ weird."  _

The girl was taken aback. "What? No! Wait. Ayanamikyu is your  _ real  _ name?" 

Kyuu  _ stared.  _ "Okay, first of all," she snapped, "it's pronounced  _ Ayanami Kyuu.  _ I am Kyuu of the  _ Ayanami Clan.  _ It's  _ not  _ a run-on word of garbled nonsense. Second, of course it's my real name. Out of curiosity, what did you  _ think  _ it was?" 

The girl stared. "Your... codename, of course. Cape name. Whichever you want to call it. I... As I said, I haven't thought of one yet." 

Kyuu's mind kicked into overdrive. It immediately came to a conclusion, and she didn't like what it implied. "Oh fuck me this is a superhero world." 

"Oooooooh. You really think so?" 

Kyuu closed her eyes. She contemplated murder for a second,  _ again.  _ "Raziel," she spoke without turning around, "please go to hell." 

A sudden hug from behind, and Kyuu knew the Angel gave no fucks and was content to just comfort her. 

...This was kind of nice, actually. 

A soft noise reminded Kyuu that the insect girl was still there. She also knew that Raziel was not going to let go any time soon. She sighed. 

"Anyway," she continued sardonically, ignoring the Angel draped all over her, "I'm curious. Are these 'codenames' really so prominent around here?" 

The girl scrutinised her. "Are you... from another world? Earth Aleph- no, even they know about capes- another, uncontacted Earth maybe?" 

Sharp girl. Then again, with 'capes' (probably their slang for mages?) so apparently prevalent, not knowing about them would raise quite a few alarm flags. Wait, was the girl expecting an answer?

"Not quite Earth," Kyuu said. She supposed it was true. She'd, after all, spent less than one percent of her life on Earth, along with the rest of them. "Our home is Alfheim. Or Halkeginia. Depends on who you ask, really." 

The girl seemed confused. “I... can’t say I’ve heard of either of them.”

“Nobody outside of Halkeginia knows to call it Halkeginia, Ayanami,” Asuka said from behind the insect girl, an unconscious man hanging from Bardiel’s grip. Kyuu figured it was the dragon. “But Alfheim? Come on, now. Ever heard of Yggdrasil?”

The insect girl stiffened, buzzing all around them growing louder by the minute. Kyuu sighed. “Asuka, you’re overwhelming her. You too, Raziel.”

She really should have expected what happened next.

Raziel let her go, and surged forward to envelop the bug girl into an even bigger hug. A massive cloud of insects surged forth from the roof around them, enveloping the pair. Asuka swore, violently, in German.

  
Kyuu coated herself in her AT-Field and  _ sighed _ explosively.


	2. 1.2

1.2

"So what did we learn?" Kyuu asked sardonically. "No, seriously. I want answers from all of you." 

The three girls in front of her shuffled around. The armored man standing behind them crossed his arms. Kyuu raised an eyebrow. 

"Well? I'm waiting." 

"Doing the opposite of what you tell me can be... Bad?" Raziel offered uncertainly. 

"No shit," Kyuu snarked. "Asuka?" 

"Swearing in front of panicked people just gets you covered in bees?" she asked. 

"Hilarious," Kyuu deadpanned. "Try again." 

Asuka tapped her chin with a finger. "...mocking random knights may result in getting attacked?" 

"And what  _ else?"  _ Kyuu asked. 

"And we don't need to go Evangelion for every single thing?" Bardiel interjected from Asuka's shoulder. 

Kyuu smiled. It was not a nice smile. "Good. Good." She glared at the armored man. "And  _ you?"  _

"I don't even know you," the man groused. 

"Doesn't matter," Kyuu disagreed, "you clearly haven't been disciplined for a long time. Well?" 

"I don't answer to you," he growled. 

Kyuu narrowed her eyes. 

The man sighed. "Rising to the bait lowers my effectiveness in battle," he muttered. 

Sighing, the Nephilim rolled her eyes. "What you  _ should  _ have learned," she shot back, "was 'do not antagonise unknowns'!" 

She rubbed her forehead. "You know what, I don't care. What did  _ you  _ learn, insect girl?" 

The girl looked from Kyuu to the knight. "That you're maternally terrifying," she listed off her fingers, "that you remind me of Mom, which  _ hurts,  _ and..." she hesitated, "...that it's okay to ask for help sometimes." 

Kyuu smiled. "At least you came out of it with useful lessons," she said. "You're very determined. And brave. You can go far." 

The girl looked down and mumbled a thanks. 

Raziel perked up. "Ooh! Can I adopt her?" 

Palm, meet face. "I'm pretty sure she already  _ has  _ a family," Kyuu groaned. "Raziel,  _ please."  _

"That's okay," the Angel chirped, "I can work with that!" She slung an arm across the insect girl's shoulders, making her start. 

Kyuu contemplated asking. Immediately after, she resolved not to go down that road, and glared. "For Ikari's  _ sake,  _ Raziel. Would it  _ kill  _ you to not latch onto the first human you come across? Don't answer that." She sighed explosively. "Yuri save me from these morons... You." 

She pointed at the insect girl. "Could you please offer me a name I can call you? I tire of calling you 'insect girl' in my head." 

The insect girl rubbed the back of her neck. "I- I don't know. It's oddly difficult to find an insect-themed name that doesn't sound villainous, y’know?" 

"I see," Kyuu offered. She didn't see. 

Raziel's eyes took on a  _ gleam.  _ "I can help with that!" 

Oh no. 

<>

After about ten minutes of intense debate, Raziel had convinced the insect girl to adopt the codename of 'Nachiyliel'. Kyuu had, naturally, glared at Raziel the entire time; she could read the Angel's ploy clear as day. Raziel had technically been correct when she insisted that it meant 'swarm' in an ancient language; what she had  _ neglected  _ to mention was that the -iel suffix tacked 'of the Lord' to the end of it. Swarm of God. That was an  _ Angel  _ name. Clearly, Raziel wasn't letting go of the idea of adoption any time soon. 

The knight Asuka had picked a fight with had declared himself an 'Armsmaster', attempted to recruit all of them, and finally departed with the unconscious Zhulong in tow. 

Kyuu took one look at Nachiyliel and Raziel,  _ conspiring _ together,  _ already,  _ and instead walked over to Asuka. 

"Hey," she offered. 

Asuka remained silent, sitting on a trashcan. Bardiel was undulating across her body. Both Angel and Human were clearly in deep thought. 

Kyuu sat on the ground and waited. 

"....why do you think we should go EVA less often?" Asuka finally asked, still not looking at her. "I mean, it's kind of a catch-all solution, isn't it?" 

"That’s also part of the problem," Kyuu countered. "You escalate right off the bat and fall into a rut, don't you?" 

Asuka was silent, looking contemplative. Bardiel on the other hand fell still. "That's not all, is it?" she vocalised. "You have more concerns, Q." 

"I do," Kyuu admitted. "This world... There are mages here, but it feels like a normal Earth. Powered humans are... a new thing, I think. And many people are afraid. It's a natural consequence of being human, of course, but this isn't Alfheim, Asuka. These people here haven't had centuries to get used to us."

Kyuu paused. "What I'm trying to say is, tone it down, both of you. Even Raziel understands to keep a lower profile." She rose. "Think about it." 

At that moment, Raziel bounded over. "Soooooooo I think we have a new little sister now! I gave Taylor - that's her human name by the way - a Fruit of Life and promised to teach her to use her Soul like we do! Wait are you mad? I did it anyway so there's no point in getting mad anymore anyway~!"

Kyuu palmed her face, resolutely  _ not  _ looking at anyone present. "I stand  _ fucking  _ corrected." 

<>

Colin Wallis, known to the world as the Hero Armsmaster, stalked into the conference room, scowling. He did not like how his night had ended, and he felt that he liked post-encounter debriefings even less. Still, he didn’t make the head of Protectorate ENE by sitting on his ass and Tinkering 24/7, so he simply grimaced and soldiered on. 

“I encountered four new capes tonight,” he declared to the occupants of the room, which at the moment consisted of Director Piggot, Consultant Calvert, and Miss Militia. He briefly wondered what the hell Calvert was doing there, before dismissing the thought as none of his fucking business. "On a related note, Lung is in a holding cell, and I need a drink." 

The Director stared incredulously at him. "Lung is  _ where  _ now?" 

Colin wondered if she had hearing problems. "In custody, I believe I just said that. But I didn't call the meeting because the local Rage Dragon is in custody, I called it because of the aforementioned new capes. Any questions before I begin?" 

"You called a meeting with the Director because you met new capes?" Calvert asked drolly. "Perhaps you do need a drink." 

Colin ignored him. "Any  _ relevant  _ questions?" 

Director Piggot pinched the bridge of her nose. "I can already tell where this is going," she groaned. "The new capes are powerful enough that I need to know about them, and you failed to recruit them? And then Clockblocker will waltz in and declares them all to be 'bullshit'?" 

"Be serious, Emily, this isn't a bad capefic on PHO," Hannah admonished from her end of the table. Colin acknowledged her existence with a brief nod and went back to drumming his fingers on the table. 

"I know," the Director snapped. "I offered the worst case scenario I could think of. Armsmaster, carry on with it?" 

"Clockblocker is not supposed to be even in the building right now," Colin deadpanned. "Nonetheless, I will scan the premises for a surprise appearance." 

Calvert snickered from under his breath. Colin gave him the stink-eye. 

Piggot sighed. "Right. Hit me." 

Instead of answering, Colin strode over to the whiteboard. "Designation: Q," he spoke, writing the name down. "Female, aged 21-27. Confirmed capabilities: Flight and forcefield generation. Suspected capabilities: Changer. Threat rating: Mover/Shaker 5. The other capes seem to defer to her as a leader. No Master effect suspected; deference result of familiarity." 

He finished writing down the information and looked at the faces of the others. The Director wore her usual expression. Hannah looked vaguely interested. Calvert was practically salivating at the mouth. Already? Colin rolled his eyes. 

"Next up," he spoke, readying the marker. "Designation: Raziel. Female, possibly Wards age. Actual age unknown, behaviour consistent with that of a teenager. Confirmed Changer, possible Case 53. Human form does not look fully human." 

He sketched out the shape he saw only briefly. "Changer form skeletal, animal-like, capable of manifesting a flight-capable Shaker ability. Suspected to be a so-called 'cluster' cape. Threat rating: Changer/Shaker 7."

"I see where this is going," the Director said dryly. "The third one is focusing on the Shaker aspect?" 

Colin shook his head. "No. I believe this one had the Shaker focus." 

"Should I call in Clockblocker for standby?" Hannah asked, most likely in jest. 

"Possibly," Colin acknowledged. "Right. Third possible clustermate. Designation: Bardiel. Female, suspected 14 years of age. Changer. Power seems to take the appearance of shifting blue fungal matter; fungal matter appears sentient." 

The Director shifted in her seat. Colin dutifully ignored that. "Bardiel appears to have multiple Changer forms, the smallest of which is four-armed humanoid and eight feet tall. Upper limit unknown; one form determined to be an armored humanoid over two hundred feet tall." 

Calvert  _ choked  _ on something. Privately, Colin agreed with the sentiment. 

"Threat assessment," Colin concluded, "Changer 10+. Would recommend not trying to start shit," he added sardonically. 

"Indeed," the Director spoke dryly. "What about the fourth one?" 

"Naturally," Colin agreed. "Designation: Nachiyliel. The name was freshly chosen when I left; implies Nachiyliel is a separate Cape who decided to team up. Female, most likely Wards age. Power appears to be insect control, specially fine control to an absurd degree. Admitted to weaving own costume with spider silk. Threat level: Master 7, Thinker 5."

Colin put the marker down and clasped his hands behind his back. "Any further questions?" 

"I have one," Calvert piped up. "Am I to understand that you completely managed to  _ fail  _ to recruit any of them?" 

"I shall locate Clockblocker at once," Hannah agreed. 

Colin seriously considered decking them both.


	3. 1.3

1.3

"It's nice to meet you," Kyuu said, shaking Danny Hebert's hand and desperately wishing she was anywhere else. "You seem like a good man." Why did she say that. 

"Likewise," said the man, looking as uncomfortable as Kyuu felt. "So do you." 

Kyuu wondered if she should break eye contact already. 

Then Asuka shoved her out of the way. "Is social uselessness an Ayanami or an Ikari trait?" she whispered hurriedly, before grabbing Taylor's father's hand and giving a firm shake. "Good morning," she told the man. "Let's start over. My name is Asuka Langley Shikinami. You are Taylor's father, yes? You raised her well." 

Danny gave a firm shake back. "Nice to meet you, miss Shikinami. I'm Danny Hebert. How long have you known my daughter?" 

"Long enough to tell that she is a good person," Asuka said firmly. "You have questions?" 

Danny sighed. "I... haven't been as good of a father as I wished, since my wife died. How... did you meet?" 

"We met two days ago," Asuka answered confidently. "I got her out of a sticky situation and my cousin invited her to hang out with us. As I said, she is a good person." 

Danny gave a relieved smile. "I'm glad she has friends again. But I have to ask. Do you... happen to be in a gang?" 

"Oooooooh, can we?" Raziel chirped. "Kyuu can get us bikes and everything!"

"Don't drag me into this!" Kyuu snapped. She honestly felt envious of Asuka's ability to turn the situation around at the drop of a hat. "Also, not that kind of gang. I think." 

“I mean, we do have nonstandard hair colors,” Asuka noted, “but that’s natural causes, not dye.”

“I think I would have noticed my daughter being born with purple hair,” the man replied dryly. 

"Late bloomer," Asuka fired back. 

Taylor herself leaned towards Raziel (and incidentally Kyuu as she was standing right next to the Angel), frowning. "Raziel," she murmured, "how come your sister is better at communicating with my father than I am?" 

Kyuu winced. "Natural consequence of Captain Shikinami being surrounded by terrible parenting, Taylor," she offered. "She's able to navigate those messes with depressingly little effort these days." 

Taylor winced back. "I'll just shut up now," she muttered. 

Raziel just grabbed the younger girl into a hug. Kyuu looked away. She wondered if she could just... Leave. Get some fresh air. Stop feeling like a third wheel. 

She missed Commander Fuyutsuki. 

Kyuu slipped out of the door and flew off. 

<>

"Hey there!" 

Starting, Kyuu looked over the edge of the cloud she had been sitting on. 

...Huh. It seemed like flying Mages weren't nearly as rare here as she had previously assumed. 

"Greetings, stranger," Kyuu provided as soon as she realized the flyer was expecting an answer. "What brings you to the Cloud of Solitude?" 

"Was curious," the flyer replied, hovering higher until she crested the cloud edge. "Not every day I meet a new flier around this town, you know?" 

"I can imagine," Kyuu answered, standing. "You are of course right; I am new in town. What might your name be, fair maiden?" Fair maiden?  **Really?** What was she even  _ saying?  _

Fortunately, the flier giggled. "This fair maiden would have you know that she's taken by a handsome Knight already! No offense." 

"None taken," Kyuu assured her. 

The girl grinned. "Anyway, I'm Victoria Dallon! Glory Girl in costume. What's your name?" 

"Kyuu Ayanami," Kyuu introduced herself. "Are you not in costume, then?" 

Victoria gestured to her jeans and a jacket. "Nope! Saw a new flyer and wanted to check you out. You're an open cape, too?" 

Kyuu pondered that for a moment. "For purposes of non-contradicting terminology, yes, that works." She gave a wry smile. "For purposes of honesty, I'm not a cape." 

She stepped off the cloud, AT-field suffusing her in its comfortable hold, keeping her aloft. "You need specific ancestry and/or organs to be what I am. What about you? What makes an open cape different from a closed cape?" 

Victoria circled her a few times, looking amused. "First of all, call me Vicky. Second - you haven't been doing any research at all, have you, Ayanami?" 

"Please," Kyuu interjected, "call me Kyuu." 

Vicky waved her hand. "Kyuu, then. Anyway, a 'different organ'  _ is  _ in fact what makes you a cape. Those little extra lobes in your brain? They're what give you your power, every cape has one." She had somehow managed to slip her arm across Kyuu's shoulders. "And finally, an open cape is a cape who doesn't have a secret identity, or doesn't bother with one. Like New Wave! My family, you know." 

Kyuu absorbed the flood of information. "I see," she finally said. 

The look on Vicky's face told her that the girl didn't believe her, but was willing to let it go. Kyuu figured the 'cape' was okay. 

"Now what?" she finally asked. 

Vicky shrugged. "I dunno. Why were you moping up here anyway - shit. Wait. Was it your Trigger? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried..." 

Kyuu smiled. "I'm not sure what exactly a Trigger is, but I can guess. No, I was simply... feeling like a fifth wheel, I suppose." 

The girl exhaled through the teeth. "Oof. That sounds... awkward?" 

"Probably nothing what you think," Kyuu allowed. "Just... A situation reminded me of Fuyutsuki-sama." She looked off into the distance. "I realized I still miss him." 

Suddenly, Kyuu found herself in a hug. "I'm sorry I brought it up," Vicky murmured. 

Kyuu smiled sadly. "Thank you," she said. 

<>

Raziel looked up at the building her new little sis told her was a school. "That's not what a school looks like," she told her confidently. "A school is big and airy and built into a castle. This is just a..." She gestured vaguely. "Prison." 

Raziel  _ really  _ didn't like the hysterical laughter that erupted from Nachi-chan at that statement. She privately wowed to find whoever made her feel like that about a coolawesome place like  _ school,  _ and then make some  _ Special Friends.  _

"Are you  _ sure  _ you want to come with?" Nachi- no,  _ Taylor  _ asked, because she wanted to be Taylor in here. Raziel didn't ask why. 

"Well of cour~~se," she drew out. "You feel  _ sad  _ here, so of course you need your big sister Razi-sama here to support you!  _ Duh."  _

Taylor took a deep breath next to her. "Okay.  _ Okay.  _ Here goes nothing." They entered the building. 

Raziel's impression of Winslow High didn't improve on sight of the interior, either. If anything, it got worse. 

_ This would simply not stand.  _

She adjusted her pointy glasses, angling them so that the light would catch from them in an admittedly very Gendo Ikari way. She also subtly adjusted her 'human' features ever so slightly towards 'skeletal'. 

"I'm right behind you," she murmured a reassurance to Taylor, and shifted her AT-field a few notches along the 'someone else's problem' axis. 

Now effectively invisible to anyone not possessing a Core, that is to say, anyone except her sisters, Raziel skittered her way along the ceiling. She giggled to herself when Taylor did a double take down below. 

Then her smile slid off her face. 

A pack of girls had surrounded her new onee-chan, and they did not sound very friendly. Raziel narrowed her eyes. 

She dropped down behind them, still unseen, ratcheting her inhumanity up another notch. Then she slid back into sight. 

"Heee~~eey~," Raziel purred, showing all of her teeth. The girls, whirling around, gained horrified stares. 

Raziel widened her smile even further, at least four of her eyes glowing.  _ "What'cha do~~ing?"  _

<>

"TV lied to me," Kyuu complained. "Listening to police radio should be far more interesting." 

"It's kinda boring for the most part," Vicky agreed. The two of them were floating above the rooftops, clustered around a tiny scanner. "But sometimes, you get just the right type of pandemonium to distract you from the fact that you skipped school, so it all balances out." 

Kyuu looked up with a frown. "Wait, you're skipping school?" 

_ " - all units be advised, a hostage situation is unfolding at Winslow High, I repeat, a hostage situation  _ _ is _ _ unfolding - "  _

Vicky shut the scanner off in a flash. "Look, distraction!" 

Kyuu raised an unimpressed eyebrow. The other girl wasn't deterred. 

"C'mon, didn't you hear? Some fucker is holding up a  _ school _ !" 

Kyuu rolled her eyes. "Yes, fine, I'm coming." She began to follow, before a thought struck her. "Wait, did they say  _ Winslow High?"  _

Vicky froze. "Oh god. Do you  _ know  _ anyone in there?" 

"I  _ hope  _ not," Kyuu growled. "Because if I find out that idiot took a school over,  _ again _ , then I  _ will  _ fucking kill her!" 

  
"On second thought," Vicky muttered, "I  _ so _ don't want to know." 


	4. 1.4

1.4

"Armsmaster," Kyuu greeted cordially as she landed, Vicky in tow. "Well met once more, if not under the most ideal circumstances." 

"Q," the man growled, not looking at her and instead concentrating on the black undulating mass covering the doors and windows. "I'm surprised to see you here." 

Kyuu narrowed her eyes. "One, my name is pronounced 'Kyuu', not 'Q'. Two, why would you be surprised to see me here?" 

The man regarded her with a calculating expression. "Because two members of your team are the ones taking the hostages." 

Kyuu felt her already stormy expression take on a distinctly thunderous look. " _ Are _ they now?" 

Armsmaster stared at her, expressionless. "Yes. The capes codenamed 'Nachiyliel' and 'Raziel' have taken a number of students hostage, and insects keep anyone from getting too close. I take it this wasn't with your leave?" 

"It certainly was  _ not,"  _ Kyuu ground out. "Excuse me for a moment. And cover your ears." 

She created an AT-platform under her feet and rose into the air. She then created a sound-amplifier by forcing the Light of her Soul onto the reality around her. 

Kyuu took a deep breath. 

**_"RAZIEL BISMARCK MAKINAMI!!!"_ **

The mass of insects fled in all directions, causing Armsmaster to activate something, a weapon, behind her. She didn't look. 

**_"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, YOU USELESS PIECE OF ADAM-SPAWN! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"_ **

A flat, orange pane of AT-field snapped into existence on the building wall. An image of Raziel, in semi-angelic form, projected onto it. 

_ "Heee~ey little sister,"  _ the projection offered.  _ "Funny story about that, actually..."  _

**_"I'M NOT FUCKING LAUGHING, RAZIEL,"_ ** Kyuu warned.  **_"I TURN MY BACK FOR TEN FUCKING MINUTES AND YOU LITERALLY TAKE A SCHOOL HOSTAGE? YOU LET EVERYONE GO, SURRENDER, AND I WILL EITHER SEND YOU STRAIGHT HOME OR JUST LET EVERYONE ARREST YOU, I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET. IS THAT CLEAR?"_ **

_ "This isn't a school,"  _ Raziel protested.  _ "It's a lawless hive of scum and villainy. I had to do  _ _ something! _ _ "  _

Kyuu stood still. She then straightened and began to chant, letting go of the volume amplifier in the process. 

_ "Sacred Void, henceforth  _

_ Collect my wrath,  _

_ Bring her forth _

_ Upon wings of blackest night _

_ Man's thought, Angel's might _

_ To warpath, set forth _

_ I call for thee:  _

_ Calliope!"  _

Her shadow  _ lengthened.  _ It  _ swooped _ across the heads of the assembled heroes, enormous night-black wings flaring, and dived into and  _ through _ the AT-field projector.

“What the  _ fuck _ was that?”

Kyuu turned, smiling sheepishly at Victoria. “A simple Void spell, really. It calls for a Wrath Wraith from my shadow and sets it forth on a path of justice. I learned it from Ramiel.”

“Magic doesn’t exist,” someone said. “It’s just what some people call Parahuman powers without proper understanding of what they are.”

Kyuu turned, and steepled her fingers in an unconscious imitation of Ikari. “And what are they, then?” She was honestly curious.

The speaker was a girl about Vicky's age, in white robes and a prominent red cross on them. Ah. A healer. The girl narrowed her eyes at Kyuu. "Parahuman powers are specifically tied to two extra lobes in the brain, that empower and regulate the person at will. It's  _ documented  _ if not always widely known, but there are  _ courses  _ and  _ papers  _ on the subject. You can't just slap a 'magic' label on it and call it a day."

Kyuu raised both of her eyebrows, and then sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "That... I want to ask you, Miss, where exactly do you get the impression that magic  _ isn't  _ documented? There are over six thousand years' worth of history, education, and research on magic. What makes that different from your powers?" 

The healer crossed her arms. "Parahumans have started popping up only since 1981. We don't simply  _ have  _ six thousand years of history. Not that I think  _ you  _ have anything either. If there's soooooo much 'research' on 'magic'-" she heavily leaned on air quotes there - "then why is there no record of any  _ actual  _ magic-users anywhere near?" 

Kyuu paused. Oh, right. Earth. "You're clearly looking on the wrong layer of reality," she settled on. "I apologise. My mind was elsewhere and I had forgotten I was actually on Midgard." 

Behind her, Vicky snapped her fingers.  _ "Midgard!  _ That's why Alfheim sounded so  _ familiar _ . You're from a completely different branch of the World Tree!" 

The healer  _ goggled  _ at Vicky. "Wait, she's from  _ where- _ " 

The Wrath Wraith flew back out of the building, alighting in front of Kyuu. She smiled, leaning forward to pat it on the head. "How did it go, my Midnight Calliope?" 

The thing glared blearily, before turning inside out and dropping the two troublemakers onto the ground. Kyuu gave it one more headpat as thanks and dismissed it. 

She then  _ glared  _ down at the unruly pair. 

<>

Taylor moaned. "...Did somebody get the number of that dragon who hit me?"

Raziel groaned back. "That was a Wrath Wraith, Taychan. Bloody terrifying fuckers. They-" 

The other Angel (and wasn't that a weird thought?) suddenly fell silent. Taylor froze too, probing around with her forcefield - no, her Soul made manifest. There was someone looming over them both. 

"Oh I assure you," that someone said with Kyuu Ayanami's voice, " _ I  _ am the most terrifying thing you know right now." 

"I think that's Louise, actually," Raziel offered from next to her. Taylor frowned. 

"Who the Hell is Louise?" 

"Louise," Kyuu thundered, "is _not here."_

Taylor finally forced her actual eyes open and focused them on the terrifying specter of death looming over both her and Raziel. "You look  _ so hot  _ right now," she observed and oh god did she just say that out loud. 

The effect on the specter of death lessened slightly as Kyuu facepalmed with both hands. "Oh for fuck's sake you're picking up their brain patterns now." 

Taylor blinked. "Whose whats now?" 

"Kyuu has this crazy theory," Raziel explained from next to her, untensing slightly, "that us Angels are attracted to displays of power and/or dominance." 

"You know perfectly well that it's not crazy, it's not a theory, and each and every one of you starts dripping whenever an Evangelion walks into the room," Kyuu hissed from above them. Was she floating now? 

"TMI," Taylor muttered and looked around. She immediately felt sick. 

The schoolyard was absolutely packed with police and PRT vans. Armsmaster was standing there, gripping his halberd, and Assault and Battery were right behind him. Slightly away - was that Glory Girl? And Panacea? And there-

Taylor froze. She was suddenly very aware that she was currently not wearing a mask, but even if she were, her new purple hair would be a dead giveaway anyway. 

But it didn't matter. None of it mattered, not at the sight of the heartbroken expression on her father's face, Asuka Shikinami standing right behind him. 

Taylor opened her mouth. To say something. Anything. To scream for forgiveness across the yard. To beg for mercy. To even apologise. 

But before she could gather enough thoughts to string together into a cohesive sentence, several explosions erupted all across the city. 


	5. 1.5

1.5.

Asuka put a hand on Danny's shoulder to keep him from rushing forward. "Hey. Hey. Don't go there yet; likely they won't let you anyway. Try to be calm, okay?" 

He looked back at her, and  _ damn  _ did he look anguished. "But... My daughter..." 

"Taylor had a lapse in judgment," Asuka assured him. "There was probably a reason. It's fine." 

The man's anguish morphed into anger. "It's  _ NOT  _ fine! Taylor held her school hostage - and she's a Parahuman - she went Carrie and it's all my fault!" 

Asuka blanked for a moment. "That sounds like a leap. Are we sure it's your fault?" 

Danny crumpled. "How could it not be? When Annette died- I left her alone! I didn’t even care for her! I love her, but I left her, and if she's gone Carrie for a reason, and I have no idea what reason, and- and-" 

"And you feel that since she hasn't told you about her problems, then she  _ obviously  _ doesn't trust you and that's why you've failed?" Asuka asked dryly. Danny nodded. 

"That's bullshit." 

He looked at her. "What?" 

"That's bullshit," Asuka repeated. "What's more likely to be going on is that she sees that you have a lot on your shoulders - don't give me that look Mr. Hebert I know you do - and, like every self-sacrificing teenager ever, decides to 'deal with it on her own' to 'not add anything more to your plate'. Don't take blame for it on  _ yourself." _

Danny stared. "You think I'm  _ not  _ a failure?" His tone betrayed his disbelief. 

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Sure. I mean, you won't get a Parent of the Year award any time soon, of course, but you actually  _ try.  _ That alone makes you a parent  _ decades  _ ahead of anything any of  _ us  _ had." 

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Do I want to know?" 

Asuka looked away. "Let's just say my last memory of Mama involves the words 'attempted murder-suicide' and leave it at that. Now come on." She tugged on his shoulder. "It looks like Kyuu is wrapping up her scolding anyway." 

<>

Kyuu Ayanami leaned back and took a  _ deep  _ breath. She then looked Armsmaster in the eye. "What are the odds these things are distractions?" 

"High," the man replied warily. Kyuu supposed it made sense, if one assumed she was the one who set these off. She was slightly offended, but understood. She'd assume the same thing in his place. 

"Thought so," she agreed. "You two," she snapped at the Ones of Moronic Judgement, "Don't think for a  _ second  _ you're off the hook. I don't care how justified you think you are, you made us all look untrustworthy. We'll talk about it  _ later."  _ She looked back at Armsmaster. "What do your superiors say about the situation?" 

The man's expression became stormy. "Oni Lee is attacking the HQ. I must go assist." 

Kyuu swore. "I'm willing to bet this is a two-pronged distraction. Damn it. Armsmaster, I will help. Raziel," her tone turned sharp, "you will take Nachiyliel and follow Asuka. Go check out the distraction sites. Don't get killed. When you're done, find me. Got it?" 

The insufferable Angel saluted. Kyuu sighed and turned back to Armsmaster. "We'll deal with my troublemakers when this situation is resolved. Lead the way?" 

The man eyed her, already mounting his motorcycle. "Follow me." 

<>

"Taylor..." 

"...Hi dad." 

"...How did this happen? How did I let this happen?" 

"No... It's nothing you could have done anything about. I swear!" 

"For ADAM's sake," Raziel murmured, staring at the quietly talking pair, "it's like they're two people who have no idea how to talk to each other..." 

"They fit right in," Asuka droned sarcastically from right next to her. "Think I can convince them to come with?" 

"She looks like she'd do anything to get out of this conversation," Raziel noted. "Sucker's bet." 

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Right." She strode over. "Okay," she declared, "we're investigating the explosions. Since you two can't fly, (yet), I'm arranging to transport you myself, Taylor. Danny, you have your car, go check on your people. Think we can do that?" 

Father and daughter looked at each other. "You sure you can handle yourself?" Danny asked. Taylor nodded. 

Asuka smiled. "The safest place in a fight is in an Evangelion. Wanna ride me, Taylor?" 

"Uh-" 

"Fuck yes," Taylor breathed, before adopting a panicked expression after what she just said sunk in. Asuka snorted. 

"Yeah, that happens occasionally," she noted. "Chill. Angels proposition each other all the time. So, about that ride?" 

Asuka noticed Danny smother a laugh at the way Taylor's face erupted into a blush and suppressed a smirk. "Be ready then," she warned, and  _ stretched.  _

Her form  _ exploded _ in size in an instant as they, her and Bardiel both, pooled together with the Evangelions within them, and brought them forth. 

She cracked her neck as they looked down at the suddenly very tiny people, noting with amusement that some of them were pointing weapons at her.  _ Do they think they have a chance against us?  _ Asuka thought in amusement. She stepped down on one knee, stretching a hand out to Taylor. 

_ Don't get cocky,  _ Bardiel warned back.  _ We're still one of the weaker Angels.  _

Lifting Taylor up to her shoulder, Asuka didn't respond. She let the other girl climb on properly, before ejecting the Entry Plug.  _ Gosh,  _ she thought,  _ I don't think we've ever used that thing before, since I last piloted anything myself, even...  _

_ It'll be an interesting experience,  _ Bardiel noted. 

They felt as Taylor climbed in, before retracting the plug and locking it in place.  _ Ready?  _ they asked themselves, no longer certain which one was in control, or if it mattered.  _ Synchronization,  _ they confirmed. 

An  _ explosion  _ of thought and feeling and sensation as Taylor connected to them, before an  _ ocean  _ of pinprick sensation bloomed.  _ What's this?  _ They thought. 

_ My bugs,  _ Taylor thought back, even as the ocean widened. And widened.  _ And widened.  _

Their superior brains processed the inputs seamlessly as the true scope of what was happening dawned on them. 

Complete and utter battlefield awareness. A block, then two, then twelve. An entire city's worth of insects, in their nests, on the prowl, on people. 

_ 'This is amazing,'  _ Taylor whispered.  _ 'It's far greater than my swarm has  _ _ ever _ _ been! But how is this possible?'  _

_ 'We're awesome, that's how,'  _ they replied even as they pondered it themselves. Perhaps the increased brain power? Or the fact that they're used to processing colonies of information on the basis of Bardiel being a sentient fungal colony? A mystery for another day, they suppose. 

The vast inputs from a city-wide area of insects forms a coherent picture, highlighting every explosion site, activities around said sites... Hm. A colony of roaches sniffs out explosives and smoke. A cadre of flies joins it. Information output is filtered, sifted, and processed, and a clear image is provided. 

Bingo. 

_ 'Tinkertech,'  _ Taylor whispered.  _ 'It's a  _ **_bomb_ ** _ Tinker. I think we just found their lair.'  _

They accept that information, and  _ leap.  _

A single bound across the city takes them right at the doorstep of the lair as they land in a tremendous  _ crash.  _ They must admit, watching people  _ panic  _ at the sight of a vengeful Evangelion can be  _ very  _ satisfying. 

A thought occurred. 

_ 'Taylor,'  _ they said regretfully.  _ 'You are still a very young Angel. Our normal battle-tactics will twist and harm your still-fragile body.'  _

_ 'What will I do then?'  _ Taylor asked them. 

They opened the armor around the entry plug.  _ 'You provide the intelligence. We provide the war.'  _ They did an emergency eject on the plug. As they did so, the lines between them began to solidify once more. 

_ Our little Swarm Angel truly is powerful,  _ Bardiel thought. 

_ You fucking bet,  _ Asuka replied in savage glee as they shrunk slightly and elongated, ripping the roof off of the workshop and peering in with a  _ sharp _ grin on their face.  **"Knock knock,"** they crooned. 

The occupant within picked up a grenade launcher and aimed it upwards. "Fuck off or I blast you to kingdom come," the woman snarled up at them. 

Asuka laughed.  **"Don't make me laugh,"** she growled back.  **"But if you** **_insist_ ** **on failing, who am I to say no?"**

She leaned forwards, AT-field shimmering.  **“A little information, if you will,”** she added.  **“No mere** **_bomb_ ** **can harm an Evangelion. Go on. Blast your heart out.”**

A savage grin wormed its way onto the woman’s face. “Fun fact,  _ Angel: _ N2 mines harm you plenty. And mine are  _ even better! _ ”

Asuka’s eyes widened.  **“N2** **_wha-_ ** **”**

Everything.

Went.

WHITE.

<>

Kyuu, in the process of ripping a dragon in half with a giant scythe,  _ stiffened _ as she felt an AT-field wink out. “What...?”

She took one look at the dragon, being covered in a rapidly-hardening foam, and raced outside. That felt like- but no, it couldn’t have-

A massive glass statue was towering above the skyline. 

No.

Not a statue. 

That was- this was-

Kyuu felt herself fall to her knees as her rational mind rapidly fell away. “No,” she whispered.

“No...”

Most of what was Kyuu fell away in shock and grief. But one part remained. One part that she had spend so long suppressing. Someone she had never wanted to be.

A part of her that was returning.

The true her.

Something that felt like...

[TERROR].


	6. 1.Q

1.Q

When she came into being, her only goal was to find Lilith. To unite with Lilith. To taste the Forbidden Fruit. 

That goal failed, a long time ago. 

Well, for the most part. 

She had subsumed what she  _ thought  _ was Lilith, and yet it turned out to be nothing more than an echo. She'd felt robbed, to be frank. 

She was even more robbed when she tried to un-subsume the echo, and ended up becoming the echo even further. She still wasn't sure if that had been an accident or not. 

It was a long time spent navel-gazing, not that she'd had a navel at the time, before she was discovered. Or perhaps just uncovered. She was fairly certain that the Lilim had known who she was. Or what she was. 

She told them anyway, as soon as the head had been attached to a body. She wasn't sure why. It just seemed to be the thing to do. 

The men had conferred. They then welcomed her with open arms, to her eternal bafflement. 

She'd learned their names as Gendo Ikari and Kozo Fuyutsuki. 

She didn't think much of Gendo Ikari. The man had seemed rather... pathetic, if she was being honest. At least at first. She much preferred the company of Kozo Fuyutsuki. 

Years went past. Her opinion on Kozo Fuyutsuki grew, and she even acknowledged the motivations of Gendo Ikari. She began to forget who she had been. 

And then, Fuyutsuki-sama died. Of old age. She relapsed. Once again sought to destroy all things. And failed. There was no Lilith. Not anymore. 

To her eternal annoyance, it was Gendo Ikari who brought her back from the brink. She understood that what she was feeling was grief. 

It was then that she chose her name. Ku. Nine. And also Agony. 

Eventually, Ku morphed into Kyu, and Kyuu Ayanami came to be. 

Many things happened after that. The invasion, where Gendo Ikari decided to take the entire might of the Black Moon against a near-defenceless world. The defeat, where the defences turned out to be the entire cadre of missing, and furious Angels. The wakening, when she had spent decades wandering around the lifeless wasteland. She had been eventually found and adopted by the Ayanami Clan, who saw no problems with picking up feral lookalikes. 

Just in case, she told them, too, who she had been. And once again, she was welcomed anyway. 

The discovery of the entire invasion and countless destruction turning out to be an anniversary gift for Gendo Ikari's wife was both extremely annoying and entirely expected. 

Lilim, and Nephilim by extension, were so, so baffling. 

After several more decades of annoyed moping, Kyuu had struck a deep friendship with Bardiel. Nothing sexual. She wasn't that kind of person. 

As she looked upon the corpse of her friend now, she  _ knew _ that whoever had done this, had to  _ pay.  _

Intellectually, she knew that Bardiel was but a resurrection away. But her heart equated that to the irreversible death of Fuyutsuki-sama. And in her entirely irrational grief, she relapsed once again. 

A thought formed. A spell, cast. 

_ "Sacred Void, heed my rage.  _

_ Shadow Realm, hear my call.  _

_ Enable me, in my rampage.  _

_ Paths of freedom, in my thrall.  _

She  _ stepped.  _

Flicker here. Flicker there. Hint? False alarm. 

_ Gotcha.  _

She stepped forth, scythe in hand, trails of darkness clinging to her. 

"So you think yourself mighty," she said, and vanished. An implosion bloomed where she had been. 

"So you think yourself smart," she said from all around the woman who had killed her friend. A cascade of unpredictable effects bloomed, yet she remained untouched. 

"So you think that because you killed one Angel, you escape the wrath of the others?" she whispered in the woman's ear. 

She was greeted with a snarl. 

"You think you can scare me?" the woman growled. "I might have thought you lot fictional, but I can adapt, damn it!" 

"So you saw that too," she mused, still moving around the bomber. "That echo of the original timeline that someone made into an anime. Did you watch all of it, little bomber?" 

Another cascade of fantastical effects bloomed. "So what if I did? I know all your weaknesses!" 

"Perhaps," she whispered, "but we too have adapted. Can you anticipate  _ that?"  _

"I don't have to take this!" the bomber snarled. "I am Bakuda! The Queen of Fear! I am  _ better  _ than you!" 

She drew back. "You?" 

Ku swirled around the bomber, rage gathering. "You think you know  _ fear?"  _

A slash of her scythe split the bomber's arm open. An explosion, evaded. 

"You lecture about fear to  _ me?"  _

A punch broke the lens of a mask. 

"You watched the anime," Ku rasped. 

A scythe found its blade pressed against the bomber's neck as her grenade launcher clattered on the ground. 

"I nearly  _ won,"  _ Ku growled in the woman's ear as she stilled against her blade. "Only a woman who felt no fear defeated me. But this time?" 

Her scythe drew blood from the woman's jugular. 

"I can't. Be.  _ Hacked,"  _ Ireul whispered. 

**_SLICE_ **


	7. 2.1

2.1

She was swimming in a sea of red. Or perhaps floating? She knew she could not drown in there. But what was it? And how had she gotten there? She swam upwards. 

Asuka surfaced from the Lake of LCL, sometimes affectionately called 'the discount Lazarus Pit', and coughed Lilith's blood from her lungs. "Fucking hell," she groaned. "The hell happened?" 

"I was hoping you two would tell  _ me."  _

Asuka looked up. Lilith herself was sitting by the edge of the lake, watching her curiously. 

Before answering, Asuka experimentally touched her right eye. Yes, Bardiel's Core was still there. Good. Bardiel herself probably wasn't awake yet, but Asuka was willing to let her be. 

She realised that Lilith was still looking at her expectantly, and tested the waters. "Is it Yuri Ayanami asking, or Lilith asking?" 

The woman rolled her eyes. "It's Lilith asking, Asuka. Now would you  _ please  _ leave my blood and give me a straight answer?" 

Grimacing, Asuka dragged herself ashore. Her memory chose that exact moment to return, and she clutched her head miserably. "How long was I out?" she evaded. 

Lilith raised an eyebrow at her, clearly unamused. "It's been fifteen days since Armisael discovered your souls in the White Gates of Guf. We estimate that you arrived there a day before that. Would you please stop stalling now?" 

Asuka winced. "I ran in and got myself killed when I dramatically underestimated my opponent, okay? Drop it, Lilith. It was my own damn fault and that's final." 

The Progenitor eyed her with a calculating look. "And would your answer change if I went to Tzadkiel?" 

Asuka's eyes widened.  _ "Don't!"  _

Lilith reached out, gripping her chin gently but firmly in her hand. "You're leaving something out, Asuka. Why should I  _ not  _ go to Louise?" 

Asuka let out a pained sigh. "Because she deserves her happy ending, okay? I don't want to take that away from either her or Tabitha with my battle-happy bullshit." 

Lilith released her at that, studying her curiously. "...That's it? You do realise that Tzadkiel is perfectly capable of saying 'no' to an adventure, right?"

Asuka gave the Progenitor a deadpan look. "Louise, sure. Ramiel though? Hell no. And  _ she'd  _ drag everyone else down with her. No, it's better to leave Louise out of it." 

Lilith looked at her curiously. "Very well, I'll leave it be. But in exchange -" Asuka prepared a wince - "Tell me what the world you went to is like." 

Asuka blinked. "You know - no, of course you know. Well, it's like this..." 

<>

"...and that's the last thing I remember before waking up here," Asuka finished, suddenly realizing that her audience had gotten  _ bigger  _ at some point. Thankfully, there appeared to be only Ayanamis as far as the eye could see. 

At least it wasn’t  _ literally _ Ayanamis as far as the eye could see. That would have been… Terrifying, really.

...It occurred to her that the current option was not a relaxing thought in the slightest either. "Where'd you all come from?" 

"Around," Lilith said, eyes sparkling. "They've been showing up throughout the story. Why? Do you feel...  _ Uncomfortable?"  _

Asuka felt a cold chill run down her back. "You know, I think I want to go back to Earth Bet now. I'll just..." She edged her way off the couch -  _ couch? -  _ and turned to leave. 

Someone's hand found its way onto her shoulder. Asuka noticed a flash of orange. 

"Leaving already?" Cho Ayanami purred. "So soon~?" 

Asuka pondered her chances against  _ the Evangelion who allegedly broke Zeruel's collarbone  _ and swallowed. Well, if you can't beat them, join them? "Ayanami-sama, senpai," she cooed in a high-pitched voice, "P-please be gentle... It's my first time..." 

Cho's face went slack in utter bafflement, exactly as planned, and Asuka  _ fled  _ the scene. 

Well, fled from this  _ particular  _ Ayanami. She almost immediately slammed into the chest of another one, and although this one wasn't an Evangelion, Asuka considered  _ Yui Ayanami  _ close enough. "Did I kill your favourite puppy in another life or something?" she asked plaintively. 

"Depends on how you count the various Asukas and Reis of the various non-local timelines," the woman answered. "But that's neither here nor there. Why are you running~?" 

Asuka glared. "Because I don't want to leave Raziel alone with the new girl for too long, and I certainly don't want to leave Kyuu with her own thoughts for an extended period of time. And I  _ definitely  _ don't want  _ you  _ anywhere near that world!" 

Yui  _ smirked.  _ "All I want is for you to  _ call  _ every once in a while, Asuka. Is this too much to ask?" 

"Coming from  _ you _ ?" Bardiel squeaked -  _ Bardiel was awake! -  _ at Yui, probably scowling. " _ Definitely _ too much to ask." 

"I'm wounded," the mad scientist snarked. But I'm not the one who wants to come to this new world you're exploring."

Asuka felt a sinking feeling. "It's Cho, isn't it." 

"Yes it is," the Ayanami drawled from behind her. Asuka scowled. How the devil was she going to get out of this? 

<>

She wasn’t, that’s how. Asuka found herself firmly sandwiched between two Ayanamis of questionable morals as Yui fastened a choker around her neck. 

"This is demeaning," she complained. 

"Hush," the mad scientist scolded. "I've made this device so that it scales with you, as to not prevent you from playing around as an Evangelion. Oh stop squirming," the woman snapped. "It's a  _ communication device,  _ not a sex thing." 

" _ So  _ not comforting," Asuka murmured. "I'm not even going to  _ ask  _ what you're planning on communicating with." 

"Good, because I'm not going to tell," Yui smirked. "Just get into plenty of conflict and you'll be fine." 

Asuka stared at the woman. "You know what, I don't care. Can I abscond already?" 

"I'm afraid not," Cho Ayanami said from her right. 

"We're waiting for an additional companion," Kei Ayanami said from her left. 

Asuka grimaced. "Just perfect," she groused. "Who?" 

"Me," a voice said. Asuka groaned. She could recognize that voice anywhere. 

"Ah," the owner of the voice continued, "I see you are already feeling moans of awe bubbling up within you, no doubt caused by my magnificent presence?" 

"Please fuck off back to Hell, Arael," Asuka groused. "How in the ever-present name of  _ Shinji Ikari _ have you become even  _ more  _ irritating than you were the last time I saw you? I'd think this was some sort of a record!" 

"Yeah," Bardiel added, "You'd think this was a competition of some kind..." 

Arael laughed that annoying high-pitched laugh of hers. "Ohohohoho! You mock me, Master dearest, and yet it is  _ you  _ who is leashed and collared like a bitch, while I, Arael, stand tall and supreme in front of you!" 

Asuka stared. She then gave direct control to Bardiel and let  _ her  _ stare, too. "Holy shit I've left you alone for too long," she finally decided. 

"Hey Ara-ara, didn't we install a collar on you too, way back when?" Bardiel interjected curiously. 

Arael scowled. "Well spotted," she noted, before brightening. "But now the turns have tabled, as it is  _ your  _ turn to wish for a handsome being to snap your choker!" 

Asuka pinched the bridge of her nose. "God fucking damn it, you're fucking with me." 

" _ I  _ can snap your choker~," Cho purred. Asuka had momentarily forgotten the Evangelion was there. Then the Ayanami's words registered. 

"...Fucking pervert." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is still confused: Ayanami Kei is Rei-1 from NGE, and Ayanami Cho is Rei-1 from Rebuild. We saw them in ToZ when Armisael spat out Kei, and Cho invited Ramiel and Zeruel to a date.


	8. 2.2

2.2

"Soooo... Anyone have something to do?" Asuka asked, semi-hopefully. "Something else? For a couple of minutes? While I just abscond out of here?" 

Kei Ayanami sighed behind her. "No stalling, Second," she chided, "Just get on with it and spirit us away into excitement." 

"What's the holdup?" Cho Ayanami asked, most likely smirking. "Is The Second  _ ashamed  _ of her lousy spellwork? Go on. Show us. We won't laugh... Much." 

"Yes, we~ell," Arael added her two cents, "My  _ dearest  _ Master is oh so  _ reluctant  _ to involve the lovely Leliel in this endeavour~," she  _ laughed  _ again, "So we simply have to  _ endure _ her attempts~" 

"Assholes," Asuka murmured. 

_ 'Pay them no mind,'  _ Bardiel whispered in her thoughts,  _ 'No matter what, you'll always have me. I'm with you. You can do this.' _

_ 'Tool,' _ Asuka thought back, heatlessly. Oh well. Might as well get on with it. 

_ “Wer zu Lebzeit gut auf Erden! Wird nach dem Tod ein Engel werden! Den Blick gen Himmel fragst du dann! Warum man sie nicht sehen kann! Erst wenn die Wolken schlafengehn! Kann man uns am Himmel sehn! Wir haben Angst und sind allein! Gott weiss ich will kein Engel sein!” _

A dark, black, swirling,  _ streaked  _ hole  _ ripped  _ itself into existence, an invisible wind whooshing forth, pulling them in. Pulling them  _ all _ in. "Last one in owes me a steak!" Asuka yelled, before diving in with glee. She heard annoyed shouts behind her, before the portal cut off all sounds around her. 

Shrieking with unsound glee, she let Bardiel envelop her form thoroughly and utterly, their minds approaching full synchronization for an outrageous degree - but not pushing over that border. She was still she and Bardiel was still Bardiel, but they were dangerously close to 'they' again. She began constructing a plan of return. 

Bardiel was looking forward to returning, but she was also concerned over... Kyuu. 

Asuka wondered if Bardiel was going to keep skirting around the fact that Kyuu was once an Angel. 

Bardiel apologised, as she was both used to the presence of a little sister, and simultaneously accepting a deadname. 

Asuka understood, and patted both of her on the metaphorical back. 

The portal at last cut off, and she once again fell through the air. As she slammed into the ground at a deceptively low speed - AT-fields were fun - she wondered where exactly in the city she had shown up. 

A tinted shadow was cast over her. She slowly raised her gaze at its source. 

_ 'Boy am I glad I don't remember how that felt,'  _ Bardiel mused at the back of her head. 

A  _ massive  _ glass statue glared down at her, its face twisted into an expression of realization and disbelief. An elongated limb was grasping at something that was no longer there as Asuka stared up at the admittedly exceedingly morbid sight of technically her own corpse. 

"My oh my," said the voice of Arael behind her. "When you  _ fuck up,  _ you fuck up _ grand.  _ Not like I didn't already know that, but  _ oh my."  _

"Die," sighed Asuka. "Die slow." 

"I don't know who I am more impressed by," came the voice of Kei from somewhere in Arael's vicinity, "The bombmaker, for getting you with it, or you, for managing to get hit by  _ all  _ of it..." 

"Hush," Asuka ground out. Did the lot of them come here just to  _ mock _ her?

_ 'Yes,'  _ Bardiel snarked from within her mind,  _ 'Yes they did.'  _

"So!" exclaimed Cho, slinging her arm across Asuka's shoulders, "I heard this place does  _ great  _ battles. Where are they?" 

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Fuck if I know," she snarked. "First I gotta find where the others are,  _ then  _ maybe a fight. Got it?" 

The Ayanami  _ grinned.  _

<>

Finding Kyuu and the others was easy, in Asuka's mind. Just go to Danny Hebert and ask him where Taylor was. Find Taylor, find the rest. In practice though... 

"You're dead!" 

" _ Was _ dead," Asuka corrected patiently. "Angels get  _ excellent  _ resurrection services aaaaaaaaand I never told you that did I." 

The man eyed her suspiciously - and were those eyes bloodshot? "Who is the Third?" 

Third? Wait, no, got it. Security question. She was actually quite proud of it; it would have different answers depending on who you asked... Right. "Shinji Ikari," she answered confidently. 

Danny eyed her. Then he eyed her companions and raised his eyebrows. "I see," he told her. "You better come in, then." He gestured behind him. 

The cadre filed in before him, giving Asuka a chance to look around. The house looked... a lot less  _ clean  _ than before. She eyed her surroundings. Empty beer bottles... A lot of them. "Danny," she asked carefully, "What exactly has...  _ happened  _ while I was dead?" 

The man sighed, helping himself to -  _ another  _ beer? The man was either as bad as Misato or something was  _ seriously  _ wrong... 

"Taylor's in jail," he said, taking a big gulp. "My sweet little innocent daughter is in prison and I didn't notice something was wrong until it was too late." 

Prison? Oh, right, the school thing. Asuka very carefully remained silent. 

"Your friends are there as well," Danny remarked, eyeing his bottle. "And the public got assigned an Earth Aleph anime to help identify any other possible Angels." He took another swig. "Incidentally, your security question may not be as secure anymore." 

Asuka  _ stared.  _ "Do I...  _ want  _ to know?" 

Danny fished out a DVD box from... somewhere and gave it to her. She took a look. Then another. " _ Neon Genesis Evangelion?" _

She stared at the cover. That... Yes, one could be  _ generous  _ to say that the boy on the cover resembled Shinji, and the Unit-01 there did look like Yui Ikari... But her own Unit-02 looked just  _ subtly enough  _ different that she was unnerved, and Unit-00 was  _ blue...  _ Wait a minute. 

"Oh hey," said Kei, "It's a depiction of the original timeline." 

What. 

_ "How,"  _ she asked. 

Danny shrugged. "God if I know. But the locals were given a warning in case  _ more  _ Angels showed up. Thought I'd let you know. So, who are your new friends?" 

Asuka pondered that question for a moment. "Well," she hedged, "These are Kei and Cho Ayanami, otherwise known as Unit-00 of the original and my timeline, respectively." 

Danny saluted. With an empty bottle. "Well met," he offered. Honestly, Asuka didn't blame him for being driven to drink, really, she'd gladly have a bottle herself if she didn't look fourteen  _ still.  _ "And what about the other young lady?" Oh shit. 

Arael laughed pleasantly. Wait, what? "'tis a pleasure to meet you, young man," she demurred. Oh goddammit Arael was fucking with her again. "I believe I classify as one of these... 'more Angels.' I'm Arael." 

Danny gave the Angel in human form a  _ long  _ look. Then he stood and helped himself another beer. "Ah, screw it," he muttered. "Asuka, want one too?" 

Arael  _ gasped  _ in apparent offence. "Why, young man! How  _ dare  _ you suggest that our pure sweet precious Asuka-" 

"Yeah, thanks," Asuka interrupted the melodramatic Angel, catching the bottle Danny tossed her and cracking it open. "Cheers." 

"-oh you  _ cuck,"  _ finished Arael, pouting fiercely. 

Asuka smirked.

<>

"I still can't believe they put us right next to each other," Taylor told Raziel through the medium of her Soul. Well, what she actually did was a ping of  _ [ I N C R E D U L O U S ]  _ with her AT-field, packed with all the meanings she wanted to convey with it. Little difference, though. 

She received a return ping of  _ [ A M U S E M E N T ],  _ mentally translating it to an approximation of "Why not? More fun for us~". She smiled fondly. 

If she was being honest, she had been suspicious of Raziel in the beginning; people just weren't that happy, that  _ accepting,  _ that nice. The... Incident... at Winslow had confirmed those suspicions, kind of. Raziel  _ was  _ capable of being  _ not  _ nice, as she had staunchly demonstrated, but... She'd still been nice to Taylor. Taking her side no matter what. Taylor suspected that Raziel just...  _ was  _ like that. Well, there was the fact that both of them were in PRT custody, but, well, she was only here in support of Raziel's sister/friend/chaperone, or whatever Kyuu was. 

She glanced worriedly at the other wall, pinging a short  _ [ C O N C E R N ]  _ towards the, uh, Ayanami. She wasn't quite sure how to address the woman. 

A low  _ [ R E G R E T ]  _ pinged back, expressing a, if she was being honest,  _ worrying  _ amount of self-loathing and shame. Taylor winced. She... really wasn't sure what to do. 

Taylor sprawled herself onto the floor of the cell and stared at the ceiling. 


	9. 2.3

2.3

"So," Asuka said, "We need a plan of action. Priority one is to do something about the 'three of our numbers are in jail' situation. Priority two- Yes, Arael?" 

The white-haired Angel lowered her hand. "Dearest Asuka, have you forgotten how to count? Raziel plus the Ayanami equals two, not three, you know~"

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Raziel adopted Danny's daughter. Now-" 

"Wait, your friend did  _ what-"  _ the man in question yelled, before Asuka cut him off. 

"Would you lot quit interrupting me?" she waited for a moment, in silence. "Thanks. Now-" 

"Actually, go back to the 'Raziel adopting people' part," Kei requested, grinning. "Cho and I wanna hear more about that part." Cho nodded resolutely. 

Asuka  _ groaned.  _ "Will you lot  _ actually  _ stop interrupting me if I-" 

"Yes," Cho interrupted, grinning widely. Asuka gave up and just punched her in the boob. 

"Right," she declared as the other Evangelion groaned and flopped onto the ground, "Debrief time. About two and a half weeks ago, Raziel, Kyuu, and I came to this planet. Me to look for a fight, Raziel out of boredom, and Kyuu to keep Raziel out of trouble. With me so far?" 

Apart from Danny, who was mouthing ' _ this _ planet?' to himself, and Cho, who looked bored, she had everyone's attention. Good enough, she figured. 

"Okay, great. Now, Kyuu came across a fight between some sort of a dragon, and the girl we later learned was Taylor Hebert. Naturally, she was quickly overwhelmed and called for help. As such, I came, I saw, and I had a thorough  _ talk  _ with the dragon. On a related note, I was 200 feet tall at the time. Still with me?"

Danny looked strangled, but was listening. Cho was snickering. Kei and Arael were... flirting? Asuka decided that she didn't want to know.

"Okay, good enough," she continued. "Now, after that, I may or may not have gotten into a fight with someone called Armsmaster, and your daughter may or may not have covered us all in bugs. I'm not exactly sure how or when it happened, but Kyuu and I had our backs turned for  _ just a minute,  _ but Raziel had already managed to bond with Taylor, adopt her, and gift her a Core. No clue where she got it from. Debrief over." She placed her hands on her hips. "Any  _ questions? _ "

Fucking naturally, there were questions. 

<>

"You wanted to see me, Director?" 

Colin stood in front of the woman's desk, feeling like he'd rather be anywhere else. He suspected she didn't like him either, but both were bound by... Something. He didn't care much. 

"Of course I wanted to see you," the woman snapped. "It's why I called you here.  _ Report,  _ Armsmaster." 

Colin wondered if he could get away with rolling his eyes. . Then he remembered he was still wearing a visor and did it anyway. “I assume you want a report on the, ah, Angels in our basement?”

Piggot glared at him. “They are  _ not _ Angels, no matter how many resemblances to a crappy anime they pull out of their asses. They’re Capes who have gone cuckoo. And yes, I want a report on  _ them _ thank you very much.”

Colin took a deep breath. “The  _ Angel _ Ireul answers to her civilian name only, and only becomes more depressed when you mention it. We’ve put her on suicide watch, just in case.”

The Director hummed noncommittally. “And the others?”

“The Angel Nachiyliel has responded well to interactions with most Wards with the exception of Shadow Stalker; I suspect unpleasant history between the two. The Angel Raziel appears restless, and has shown signs of calculating for ways to escape. My estimations show a 98% chance of successful attempt.”

He clasped his hands behind him. “Additionally, all three appear to be communicating with each other in a manner I have yet to decipher, but suspect to involve -” he checked his HUD - “their ‘AT-Fields’.”

Piggot sighed. " _ Must  _ you persist with this ridiculous farce, Armsmaster? Just because they resemble an import anime-" 

"I have analyzed their genetic makeup, Director," Colin interrupted. "Confirmed by Panacea. 99.89% compatibility with the human genome, but the cell makeup is undeniably different from human. It's internally consistent, Director. Their 'AT-fields' also exhibit consistent capabilities across the board." 

The woman stared at him, an unreadable expression on her face. "So they're Biotinker creations?"

Colin shook his head. "According to the Think Tank and confirmed by Panacea, they're a divergent parallel evolution to humanity. It's very possible that their claims of being from a different Earth are not as bogus as one could claim, ma'am." 

Piggot sighed and massaged her temples. "Please tell me the PRT isn't  _ almost  _ at war with another dimension again." 

Colin considered it. "I don't think so, Director. The ABB  _ might  _ be, but I think that might be a very short war in whichever case." 

The Director  _ glared  _ at him. He very carefully did not smirk. 

Emily Piggot groaned. "You know what, let's table that for now and let's talk about Taylor Hebert." 

"I was under the impression that we were pretending not to know her civilian identity," Colin deadpanned. 

"Oh  _ please _ ," the woman snapped. "Her 'Carrie' was a public event. She's an open Cape by this point, and don't interrupt me, Armsmaster, I want to talk about something completely different. I want to know the whats, the hows, and the whens of her no longer being human. Well? Report!" 

Colin raised an eyebrow, again, not that the woman saw it. "Technically, Director," he remarked, "she's  _ still  _ a human, if more of a  _ parallel  _ human than local." 

The Director shot him a glare. "Stop stalling at technicalities, her hair is purple and she has a new goddamn organ in her chest. Out with it. What's wrong with her?" 

"Nothing," Colin answered blandly. "Apart from no longer being a Parahuman by definition, she is completely fine." 

Piggot narrowed her eyes. "And  _ when exactly _ did she stop being a Parahuman, again? And  _ how _ ?" 

Colin pondered for a moment. "I can't answer that, Director." Well, that was a small lie. He could. She just wouldn't understand a word of it. 

The woman eyed him. "I need a drink." 

<>

“Don’t you think what we’re doing is a bit passe?” Yui Ayanami asked her partner in crime. “I mean, I  _ just _ finished being the major antagonist, and now that Asuka goes exploring worlds, I’m immediately being one again?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the other woman answered. “You’re not the antagonist, you’re the hench.  _ I’m _ the antagonist. It’s my turn.”

“Is it now?” Yui Ayanami asked skeptically. “Making me the hench is just setting up for my eventual Starscream -  _ again! _ People are going to expect that!”

Yui Ikari tented her fingers. “You worry too much, my dear counterpart. You can make an  _ excellent _ Fuyutsuki if you ask me."

"..."

  
“...Dammit, how does Gendo make it look so  _ easy! _ ”


	10. 2.4

2.4

Jennifer the PRT receptionist was looking forward to a nice quiet day, lacking any emergencies or anything like that, just her, her coffee, and some of those handsome troopers across the lobby. So when a twin-tailed redhead (bearing the single most obvious dye job known to man) somehow kicked the sliding doors open and declared herself a resurrected person, she just sighed and pressed the Button under her desk. 

"How may I help you?" she then inquired politely, because that's what she did in these kinds of situations. 

The redhead whirled towards her, and  _ pointed  _ dramatically. People actually did that? "I  _ literally just  _ said that! But I suppose your feeble mortal minds simply cannot  _ comprehend  _ the awesomeness that is I, Asuka Langley  _ MOTHERFUCKING  _ Sohryu,  _ back  _ from the  _ goddamn dead! _ Also, I demand to be taken to my teammates. That is non-negotiable. _ "  _

Jennifer suppressed a groan.  _ 'Oh damn it, not another one.' _ She then sighed deeply and pressed the  _ other _ button too, flooding the 'redhead' with containment foam. 

She shook a stray clump of foam off her hair and grimaced when it naturally refused to let go. "Impersonating a dead person to their grieving teammates is generally known as a 'dick move'," she informed the head sticking from the pile of foam. "And I'm pretty sure you got the name wrong. She was only called Sohryu in the anime." 

The false redhead swore. "Oh fucking damn it I'm still used to Sohryu not Shikinami - hey. Listen. How about you just tell me where they're kept and I'll take it from there?" 

"No," Jennifer informed her. "Information security, you understand." 

A smile that Jennifer so very much didn't like the look of appeared on the girl's face. "That's okay." Her eyes glowed white and Jennifer only heard her voice echoing in her ears.  _ "How about you tell me anyway?"  _

<>

Thomas Calvert, in his persona of a civilian consultant to the PRT, was walking to his office when the general Master alarm sounded. He cursed in the privacy of his mind; getting caught up in a Master situation was the furthest thing in his mind from an enjoyable day. For a moment he contemplated ending this timeline and keeping the one where he had called in sick to have a cheat day. Then, with an annoyed grumble, he collapsed his cheat timeline. 

He immediately started walking again, towards two different destinations; one headed towards the armory right next to his office, the other towards the nearest security station. 

Both, before reaching the hallway intersection, stepped in a puddle of...  _ something.  _

One of him looked up. The other leaped backwards. Both saw a blue amorphous mass dripping from an air vent. 

The mass’ drip became a flow as the Calvert who’d looked up was swallowed by it. He collapsed a timeline and opened another, springing into action and unholstering his sidearm/booking it. Both variations of him snagged his radio and barked into it - "Consultant Calvert here; I'm being accosted by an unknown Parahuman on the first floor - requesting - hrk!" 

Neither of him could finish that sentence. The one who ran tripped and fell, his radio clattering away; the one who stayed was grabbed by the mass, his mouth being covered. 

Thomas Calvert considered his options. The one who tripped had also been restrained; he collapsed that timeline and created another. 

He was now being restrained in both timelines, he had no radio, and no sidearm, but didn't seem to be unconscious yet, strangely. In his new timeline, he waited. In the other, he mimed surrender. What would the Cape do now? 

In the one where he waited, the Cape blocked his airways, clearly intending to silence him. Or possibly knock him out. He collapsed that timeline. 

With him surrendered, the cape whisked him into the nearest room, which turned out to be a supply closet. Calvert spied a can of containment foam. 

He suddenly found his mouth free and immediately opened a new timeline. In one, he attempted to yell for help and was almost immediately silenced. In the other, he waited. 

He kept collapsing and reopening timelines, one waiting for the cape to make their first move, the other attempting various means to escape, summon help, or overpower his opponent. To his chagrin, all of his attempts failed. 

"You look like you could be important," the cape finally said in a guttural voice. "You certainly look intelligent. Tell me. Where do you keep your secrets?" 

What. 

"Why are you asking me?" he asked in one timeline. "Did you literally just grab the first person you saw to ask for  _ secrets?"  _

"I'm just a civilian consultant," he said in the other timeline. "I'm afraid I don't have that information." 

In both timelines, the door was kicked open and he lost consciousness immediately after. 

<>

_ 'How are our distractions doing?'  _ Kei mentally asked her partner in crime.  _ 'I'd hate to be interrupted mid-discussions...'  _

_ 'Chill,'  _ Cho thought back.  _ 'Arael is guarding the exit, and Bardiel is muddling the waters. We're  _ **_fine.'_ **

_ 'I'm often jealous of your optimism,'  _ Kei thought back as she crept around the corner, wrapped in her protective camouflage.  _ 'I think we're here,'  _ she sent along her link.  _ 'I feel three AT-fields up ahead.'  _

_ 'On it,'  _ Cho thought back and cut the link. Kei smirked. Her partner could be downright adorable at times. 

The cell door in front of her swung open, Cho stepping back as her density normalised again. With a smirk, Kei walked in. 

"Hello, Kyuu. Ready to leave this place?" 

“G’way Kei,” came the tired murmur. 

Kei and Cho exchanged glances, grinning.  _ ‘Wait for it...’ _

“Wait.  _ Kei!? _ ”

_ ‘There it is.’ _

Within seconds, the two former Ree were face-to-face with an incredulously enraged Kyuu Ayanami. “What the fuck are you...  _ two _ doing here! How are you even- why- what-”

“The Bardiel Venom showed up in the Gates of Guf a fortnight ago,” Cho supplied.

“She was fully resurrected two days ago,” Kei added. 

“We got bored.”

“Came along.”

Kyuu had drawn herself up fully, looking between the two in a mix of hope and anger. “Bardiel! She’s alive!? Her soul found the correct Well?”

Ah, so  _ that’s _ why she’d sounded so mopey. “Yep,” Kei quipped. “Kaoru-chan keeps your souls well.”

Cho clapped an arm around Kyuu’s shoulders, irreverent of her concerns. “Anyway, as K-gal said, ready to leave this place?”

The woman frowned. “What? No. We’re all here by our own choice, and for a  _ reason, _ Cho. The two knuckleheads in the cells next to me held a  _ school  _ hostage! For the  _ second _ time in Raziel’s case! And I lost control! No! I’m not coming anywhere!”

Kei and Cho exchanged a  _ long _ chance. “What my partner in crime was  _ saying, _ ” Kei drawled, “is that either you come with us, or I let Cho and Arael find their  _ own _ entertainment. We’ll even take Raziel whether you object or not.”

The pair of Ayanami leaned forward with vicious grins on their faces. “So.”

  
“ _ What will it be? _ ”


	11. 2.5

2.5

“I hate this. I hate everything about this. I hate  _ literally everything about this _ ,” Kyuu hissed between her teeth as she stormed through the hallways, growling almost bestially as her eye developed a sudden, rage filled twitch. “What the fuck is Asuka  _ doing?” _

“Muddling the waters,” Kei said, jogging along.

“Considering bones optional,” Cho added, grinning like a maniac. Taylor and Raziel remained suspiciously silent.

“And  _ assaulting a PRT officer, it feels like _ ,” Kyuu hissed louder now, glaring back at Kei and Cho and resisting the urge to pull out a scythe and stab the two of them until they learned the meaning of the words “propriety” and “morality”.

Off in the distance, an AT-field of  _ w h i t e  _ flared. Kei hid a grin. “Arael’s busy,” she commented.

“Busy having  _ fun, _ ” Cho chortled. “I  _ love _ distractions.”

“ _ Do _ you?”

The hallway  _ stretched, _ meters becoming miles as the nearest junction was suddenly very far indeed. Kei looked around curiously. “Oh hey. This is new.”

“Surrender, villains! You’ve got nowhere to run!” a high pitched, childish voice called out from behind them, the owner of said voice standing not at all very tall in her adorable green dress and helmet. “Return to your cells now or face the consequences!”

“Is that supposed to scare us?” Cho asked idly.

“I dunno,” Raziel finally said, “she kinda reminds me of Tzadkiel. From way back when, of course, and not anywhere near what Tzadky-chan is like now, but there’s the vibe...”

Kei raised her eyebrows, clearly interested. “Indeed? Then I suppose we must take her seriously. What do you think, Cho?”

Cho cricked her neck and cracked her knuckles, grinning. “I think I wanna see what happens when I go EVA.”

“I don’t think you’d fit,” Taylor said dubiously. 

Cho cackled. “Bitch  _ please! _ Between me and the building... the building would totally lose.”

"Cho,  _ no,"  _ Kyuu snapped, but the arrogant asshole was already leaping... 

...still leaping... 

Wait a minute. 

  
  


Kyuu took a closer look. Yes, Cho was most definitely leaping through the air. And visibly growing. Except.... Not? 

Before her very eyes, one of her more annoying sisters grew to her full size and further away, maintaining the illusion of remaining at size. She also cleared her launch arc and was now falling rapidly. The sequence was made all the stranger by the fact that Cho was also very clearly hanging midair. 

A quick glance at the young... Cape, was it? Yeah,  _ cape _ showed her that the kid's smile was growing slightly vindictive. 

Experimentally, she fashioned a stable disk of AT-field and threw it at the kid. If Raziel was right and she was like Louise, then... 

Her AT-field, in a complete defiance of normal AT-field behaviour, curved  _ around  _ the kid and hit Cho in the face, instead, knocking the  _ still falling  _ Evangelion... sideways and up? Kyuu stared in disbelief as Cho hit a lamp, then the ceiling, then smashed through both and disappeared completely. The ceiling, too, looked exactly like an unbroken one, except with a noticeable absence of a ceiling light. 

"She's in a cell now," the adorable little voice said in a chilling tone. "I made  _ sure  _ she wouldn't get out. I  _ told  _ you, villains, there is nowhere to run." 

Kyuu paused. Raziel was right, as much as it pained her to admit it. This tiny adorable little girl was a  _ terrifying  _ opponent. Still...

"If you can  _ actually  _ contain her in long-term," she groused, "then I'll happily return to my cell. I'm out here  _ under duress,"  _ she growled at an unabashed Kei, "so I have no objections." 

"I have objections," Raziel said. 

"You know what you did," Kyuu snapped. "Your objections don't matter." 

"Could you always do that?" Taylor asked. 

"Do what?" Raziel asked, in unison with the yet still unnamed kid. She exchanged a surprised look with her. 

"Ah, no, I was talking to Vista," Taylor elaborated. So that's what the kid's name was. "The thing you did. With the falling in place. And shunting the Ayanami to a cell. That was incredible! Is it a new technique?" 

"I've practiced," Vista said, surprise clear in her voice, "But please. I've been able to do that for years." 

Years? Damn. How old  _ was  _ that kid? 

However Taylor, it seemed, wasn't finished. "Then why haven't you used it before? That's... An incredibly useful move! Why haven't you used that to take down... Any number of villains over the years?" 

PR, Kyuu guessed. She somehow didn't see an organisation that  _ rotated _ therapists - when she found out  _ that  _ little tidbit she'd refused to accommodate the new one in a heartbeat - using its assets to its full extent if it meant possible bad PR. 

"It is not the Wards' job to be on the front lines," Vista recited in a heartbeat. Kyuu rolled her eyes.  _ Fucking knew it.  _

"Then why stay with the organisation that would waste your potential?" Raziel asked. Kyuu's gaze snapped at the Angel. She better fucking not... 

"Join us instead," Taylor added. Sonovabitch! "We won't squander your potential." 

Vista crossed her arms. "Somehow I doubt a bunch of homeless aliens can offer me a roof over my head. No deal." 

“I have a pocket airship,” Kei said. Wait what?

“You have a  _ what? _ ” Kyuu demanded.

“Swiped an Ark from the Black Moon before I came,” the  _ infuriating little Ayanami _ said flippantly. “And it’s not like using an AT-field to shrink something huge into something tiny is  _ hard _ or anything. Just look at all the Angels.”

Kyuu felt like grabbing the nearest idiot and shaking it violently. Raziel, perhaps sensing said feelings, swiftly took a step away from Kyuu and towards Vista instead.

“Join us, Vista,” said Taylor, and Kyuu got a sudden horrible premonition. “Join us, and we can clean up the city together!”

“Are you  _ serious _ , right now?” Kyuu hissed. Taylor, too, took a step away from her. Just in time, too, since Kyuu’s hands began twitching with the ever growing urge to  _ throttle a fool _ .

“She did imply the only thing holding her back from joining the  _ clearly _ superior option was a lack of accommodations~” Raziel sing-songed from way over there.

Kyuu took a  _ deep _ breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Well, since I clearly can’t convince those morons otherwise... Vista. What do  _ you _ think?”

The tiny cape contemplated for a long moment. “Oh what the hell.” The hallway shrunk to normal sizes as Cho burst from... somewhere, covered in plaster and looking extremely smug over something. 

“I  _ don’t _ want to know,” Kyuu growled. “Let’s just... get out of here. Can we do that? Just fucking leave? Without any other disruptions? Before I change my mind?”

At that exact moment, Asuka and Arael skidded around the corner, wearing identical grins of bloodlust. “Incoming!” one of them yelled. “Make a hole!”

“Oh for  _ fuck’s _ sake,” Kyuu managed to complain, before the two barrelled into and through a wall. And coincidentally the side of the building.

**“Move your asses!”** Bardiel’s cackle echoed from out there. Kei pulled  _ something _ from  _ somewhere _ and threw it out of the hole, an enormous shadow casting itself over everything shortly after. Kyuu found herself and Vista being pulled along by Raziel, who’d shifted back into her Angelic form. Swarms of insects blanketed the exit hole as Taylor pulled her weight. Another huge form told her that Cho was evacuating both Kei and Taylor.

Kyuu risked a look backwards, at the smoking and battered building. ‘ _ I’m going to kill all those morons, I swear. _ ’


	12. 2.P

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the suffering of our favourite Director.

2.P

If somebody asked Director Emily Piggot where  _ she _ thought everything started going wrong, she couldn’t give them an answer. Was it when the Angels showed up in the first place? Was it when Vista defected? Or was it all the way back in Ellisburg? She couldn’t say. What she  _ could _ say, though, was that everything was  _ fucked. _

It had been a week since the Angels had broken out, a week since she’d lost her youngest Ward, and she honestly felt like throttling any one of them. Even her own subordinates.  _ Especially _ the man sitting on the other side of her desk.

“ _ Please _ repeat that, Calvert,” she not quite hissed at the smug snake.

“The latest reports from my informants on the street confirm it,” he answered. “Vista has been spotted, and she is most likely a Nephilim. She has been spotted with Nachiyliel aka Taylor Hebert, so she’s most likely on their side now.”

Piggot massaged her temples and groaned. “How likely is it that she’s been  _ actually _ Mastered, and hasn’t just defected for reasons I shan’t mention?”

“Low,” Calvert smarmed at her. Lovely. “Her behavior matches previous baselines, with the possible explanation of being more... relaxed. Could be Mastering, could just be the fact she’s out on the field, doing things the Youth Guard would never let her do.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to rub it in my face,” Piggot snarked. “Any other information on her?”

Calvert hummed. “There are reports of an unusual hairstyle, but no details. As I already mentioned, most likely a Nephilim now.”

“I was ignoring that part,” Piggot snapped. “What about that..  _ thing _ they have up there?”

Calvert, for once, looked like he’d bitten into a lemon. Emily took a bit of perverse pleasure from that.

"People  _ like _ it," he finally spat. "Apparently a giant flying warship looming over the Bay inspires gangs to stay quiet much more than either the PRT or the Protectorate ever will." 

Honestly, Emily suspected as much. Didn't mean that she had to like it. "They seek to make us look like fools," she mused. "I can't blame them. We made ourselves look like fools too." 

"...Director?" Calvert asked carefully. Emily regarded him for a moment. 

She then pushed a button on her desk. The windows darkened. Several unseen systems activated. A green light lit, indicating that the room was secured. Emily smirked. "Let's make this conversation off the books, shall we?" 

She split the timeline. 

In both timelines, Calvert froze. No wonder. She’d done it in a manner that pulled him in too. Emily could do it without, yes, but it was after all  _ his _ power. She wanted to extend him the courtesy. 

“Look, Calvert,” she told him in the real world, “I know that you have some less than legal informants. I want to know what  _ they _ know about the situation on the street.”

“Let’s cut to the chase, Tom,” she said in the simulation. “I know you’re Coil. I know what your power is. This timeline is the one where we have the  _ real _ conversation, got it? Not a peep in the real world.”

“You of course understand that if I had any hypothetical less than legal informants, I wouldn’t be able to talk about them in anything other than hypotheticals, yes?” Calvert said carefully in the real world. Emily nodded understandingly.

“...How are you doing that?” the Calvert in the simulation asked, just as carefully as the one in the real world.

“Hypothesize at me, then,” she told him in the real world, before tenting her fingers in the simulation.

“What do your pet Thinkers say?” she asked Coil.

As Calvert began relaying rumours, Coil simply stared at her. "How long have you known?" he asked instead. 

"Guess," she snapped, as in the real world, Calvert mentioned a sense of satisfaction amongst the people of the city.

Coil nodded thoughtfully. "And since when...?" 

_ "Guess,"  _ she hissed. 

“... Ellisburg…?” Coil asked, fighting to keep the quiver out of his voice- even with her current physique, Emily Piggot was still a woman to be feared, and despite his confidence that he could shoot her in one timeline, he knew damn well what would happen if he tried anything stupid in either timeline.

“An astute observation,” Piggot snapped. “But I know for a  _ fact _ you didn’t get  _ yours _ then, because I would have sensed it. So.” She tented her fingers. “ _ What did you promise Cauldron? _ ”

Coil gulped, while Calvert continued talking about the events happening in the city, barely managing to keep a hold of his emotions by keeping a death grip on his leg.

“I-I…” Coil stuttered, taking a deep breath as Emily’s glare only deepened further. “I- I can’t- I can’t tell you.”

“... Oh  _ really _ ?”

“T-they’ll kill me!”

“ _ I’ll _ kill you if you don’t talk.” Emily deadpanned, folding her hands on top of her desk, conspicuously empty despite her words. 

He talked.

<>

Five minutes later, Thomas Calvert left Director Piggot’s office pale and sweating, drawing sympathetic looks from the other office workers gathered around- they too knew all too well what it was like getting chewed out, and to them it seemed all too terrifying that not even consultants were spared from her legendary tirades.

In another timeline, just before it collapsed, Coil shuddered and let out a rattling breath as Piggot emptied an entire pistol magazine into his chest, throwing him out of his seat and onto the floor, bleeding out painfully until Piggot finally, mercifully, ended the timeline and bid Calvert a good day.

Emily herself simply leaned back in her chair and exhaled in frustration. She  _ hated _ using that accursed power, even if she understood perfectly well that  _ not _ doing that would lead to her becoming what she hated most.

Another potential  _ Nilbog. _

Well, not literally. She could ‘borrow’ powers, yes, but she could only do that with Thinkers. Or, specifically, she could ‘borrow’ cerebral aspects from capes around her. Their senses. In case of Thinkers, their whole powersets, even. It was highly useful at times and highly frustrating at others, but she had no illusions of the potential danger she presented. Or rather, the lethal amounts of knowledge she’d assimilated over the years.

Cauldron knew, of course. She was, as she understood it, too useful to kill and too dangerous to work with them wholesale, so they gave her a desk job and hoped for the best.

Emily hadn’t been very impressed.

Returning to the present, she tented her fingers yet again and mused on the information Coil had provided.

He’d given away more than he’d intended, she was sure, but it was all so frustratingly little. 

“A king in his fiefdom, indeed,” she mused.

Of course, the information he’d given on  _ himself _ was more expansive than the information she’d actually  _ wanted -  _ specifically, what those bloody Angels were up to.

The information gave... clues. She’d surmised that yes, Vista had indeed defected fully and yes, she was fairly furious about that, but she’d been surprised to realize that the Angels weren’t nearly as united as one would think. Really, what impression she got was a group of rambunctious children doing whatever they wanted, and one beleaguered administrator trying to keep them in line.

Which she supposed Ms. Ayanami  _ was, _ after all.

She tapped a pen against the table, Thinking furiously, even though she wasn’t currently borrowing a power. 

_ Vista has defected. _

_ Vista has become an Angel. _

_ Vista is working together with another Angel to... perform heroics? _

_ Vista is... still a hero. _

Well, good that she hasn’t gone full villain. Bad that she’s working without  _ any _ oversight.

_ It would be  _ **_so_ ** _ much easier if all those children didn’t act like... fucking children. Hopeless hope, certainly, but it would make my work  _ **_so much fucking easier._ **

Emily groaned. “Well, on the bright side-”

She brought her train of thought to a halt. “No. Bad Emily. No jinxing yourself. You don’t need any more trouble-”

A sound echoed from afar.

It was a loud, low, droning wail, rising and falling, instilling a sense of urgency and a need to flee into everyone who heard it. Emily sincerely wished she wasn’t hearing it right now.

“God fucking damn it,” she swore. “Endbringer.  _ Here. _ ”

  
She rose from her chair. Well. Time to get to fucking  _ work. _


	13. 3.1

3.1

“Not good not good not good not good!” Vista whined as she listened to the sirens echoing far below the floating airship, pacing in place as she tried to stop her knees from knocking together from sheer panic.

Next to her, Taylor- or rather Nachiyliel now- did much the same, breathing hard and panicking while swarms of insects pulsed around her, buzzing with the sheer force of her fear.

Honestly, Kyuu wasn’t really sure what was so bad about the sirens. Sure, they were annoying, but they were just storm sirens, right?

Right?

And then…

“Kyuu! We got trouble!” Arael screamed as she all but slammed into the bridge, shining brightly as she beat her fist against the glass of the cockpit from the outside. “That white birdy bitch that stole my schtick is coming  _ here _ and she’s  _ pissed!” _

“... White… birdy… bitch…?” Kyuu asked, feeling a sudden surge of dread as she took a step back. “Arael what did you do!?”

"May or may not have mocked somebody on the Internet and  _ maybe _ that somebody is the white bitch herself and  _ may  _ have implied she was a talentless  _ hack  _ who only rips off of the good Angels but that's all in the  _ details,"  _ Arael waved off. "Look, it doesn't matter  _ who  _ did  _ what, _ it matters that I  _ may  _ have underestimated her threat level and I  _ may  _ have to go full Angel to fight her. Devil is in the details, you know?" 

"You  _ pissed off the  _ **_Simurgh!?"_ ** Taylor finally exploded in horror. "What were you  _ thinking!?"  _

“I was  _ thinking _ that the person I was annoying on the internet was a normal person, not a fucking bitchass fake angel whose power source is a planet sized supercomputer three spatial jumps over and CAN’T EVEN GENERATE A REAL PSYCHIC FIELD!” Arael protested, turning around and shouting the last part at the shining white Endbringer descending in their general direction. Both Arael and the Simurgh held up their middle fingers at each other, the air going staticy and charged with energy as they furiously spat insults through rapid data transmission.

Kyuu sighed, groaning and dropping her head into her hands as she considered the variables and decided that, not only were they  _ extra fucked _ , but they weren’t even fucked in a way that was remotely funny.

Kind of like when Asuka died, but at least then the rest of the family got to make fun of her for a little while after she resurrected.

“Y’think she’ll stop trying to kill us if we shove a core in her chest?” Asuka asked idly, examining her nails as she flexed her AT Field around the ship and deflected a few thrown buildings, not particularly caring much as they shattered against her soul.

“Do we even want to  _ try _ to put a core in the chest of one of the beings that’s trying to kill this planet?” Kyuu deadpanned, only to immediately regret her words as Raziel immediately ran out the nearest hatch and started waving to get Ziz’ attention. “... Uuuuuuggghhhhh, I should have just  _ stayed home.” _

“DO  _ NOT _ GIVE THAT BITCH A CORE!” Arael screamed, still furiously insulting the Simurgh with data packages implying some extremely speciesist things about the Endbringer’s parentage and sexual status, continuing to flip her off in every way possible as her glow began to outshine the sun.

The Simurgh, of course, responded in kind, but instead of glowing, the Endbringer simply continued trying to punch Arael in the crotch with very large and pointy spears of broken off I-beams and the occasional fire hydrant.

Nachiyliel and Vista (Angel name pending) only watched in sheer horror as Arael and Ziz continued to have an epic level bitch fight, the Angel shifting into her true form in order to tower over the Endbringer, while the Endbringer simply continued spewing insults matching Arael’s in sheer viciousness.

So caught up in the sheer spectacle of it all, the glowing, the explosions, the data packages that had become so bloated with power that they began echoing as sound instead of transmissions, filling the air with the sounds of angelic choruses and enraged screaming, that nobody noticed Raziel scurrying through the air with a maddened grin on her face.

“New sister! New sister!” Raziel screamed as she leapt and twisted her AT Field, laughing excitedly as she slammed face first into the Simurgh’s ample and yet also rock hard chest with a crimson orb the size of a baseball in her hand.

“RAZIEL NO!” Kyuu screamed, but it was too late.

Far too late.

Raziel slammed the core right into the Simurgh’s sternum.

Arael screamed in sheer fury, glowing bright enough to blind the entire city for a few seconds.

The Simurgh only grinned, and as her crystalline form exploded, she released one final transmission, loud enough to be heard across the entire city.

_ [SUCK] _

_ [MY] _

_ [ASS] _

_ [BIIIIIIIITCH] _

<>

“I hate this. I hate everything about this. I hate LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!” Arael shouted, stomping onboard the airship with Raziel dragging behind her, her hand clutched tightly around the serpentine Angel’s tail. “I DIDN’T NEED A NEW SIBLING TO YELL AT, DAMMIT!”

“Well, you certainly have one now,” Kyuu pointed out, sighing as she rubbed her forehead and watched the  _ eight year old girl _ that looked like some mix of Mari Makinami and herself toddle behind Arael with a victorious grin on her face.

“You can’t yell at me anymore,  _ nee-san _ ,” Ziz purred smugly, crossing her arms and flapping her now glowing wings as she hopped up and clung to Arael’s back. “Because now you’re my biiiiig sister~”

“I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate everything about this,” Arael groaned, resigned to carrying Ziz on her back for the time being. “I swear if you weren’t basically the equivalent of an angry toddler strapped to a supercomputer up until five minutes ago, I would dump you off the side of this airship.”

“Nee-chan is  _ mean, _ ” Ziz stuck out her tongue, laughing smugly still as she continued riding on Arael’s back. “But at least I have real free will now~ Ne ne, Arael nee-chan, can we go get icecream~?”

“Please stop calling me nee-chan,” Arael groaned, growling as she grabbed Ziz by the scruff of her neck and drove an atomic noogie into her tiny skull. “You popped up over  _ Switzerland _ and you’ve  _ never been to Japan  _ you tremendous  _ weeaboo _ .”

“Ziz isn’t a weeb!” Ziz protested, crossing her arms with a huff before promptly digging herself into an even deeper hole. “Ziz just appreciates Earth Aleph anime and manga!”

“I’ve seen your brain, idiot. I know you’re obsessed with magical girls.” Arael deadpanned, continuing to noogie Ziz’ skull and thoroughly mess up her pretty white hair.

“I am not!”

“You have a secret stash of magical girl manga in the Alps!”

“N-no I don’t! W-what are you talking about!? Z-Ziz doesn’t collect mahou shoujo doujinshi!” 

“....”

“....”

“YOU’RE EIGHT YEARS OLD YOU ABSOLUTE BRAT WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN COLLECTING PORN!?”

“I’M ONLY PHYSICALLY EIGHT  _ NOW _ YOU ABSOLUTE HYPOCRITE! MY SHARD SELF WAS THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD BEFORE YOU JETTISONED MY SOUL OUT OF THE NETWORK!” 

“... I’d… be concerned,” Asuka murmured to Kyuu as Arael and Ziz physically began wrestling on the floor, screaming obscenities at each other as they tore at each other’s hair and clothes. “... But this is…  _ shockingly _ normal for our family, isn’t it?”

“...  _ Unfortunately _ ,” Kyuu sighed, immediately turning around and ignoring Nachiyliel and Vista (Angel name  _ still _ pending) as the two of them stared at the chaos. “I’m going to bed. Wake me up if the other Endbringers show up or something. Raziel… I’ll yell at you later. I’m too tired for this shit right now.”

“-PUNT YOUR ASS INTO THE OCEAN YOU TINY BITCH!”

“TRY ME, HAG!”

“ARGH, MY BOOB!”

“HA! SUCK MY ASS, LOSER!”

“.... I… have no idea what’s happening with my life anymore,” Nachiyliel lamented, curling up on the floor as she tried and failed to process the fact that the Simurgh, the hope killer herself, was now a foul mouthed eight year old who was now technically her  _ little sister _ .

Or, as her shock addled brain pointed out, little  _ Zizter _ .

Vista, meanwhile, simply sat down next to her older Cape-sibling and grinned, watching Arael and Ziz roll around like idiots as they lost any cohesion in their arguments and simply spat ever increasingly vague and ridiculous insults at each other. “I fucking  _ love _ this family.”

<>

“So you’re telling me. That one of your party. Is directly responsible for  _ causing an Endbringer attack early _ . And another one is responsible for TURNING AN ENDBRINGER INTO AN EIGHT YEAR OLD CHILD!?” Piggot slammed her fist against the desk, turning an interesting shade of purple as she glared at Kyuu, who just sighed and rubbed her temples in response.

“Unfortunately, yes.” Kyuu answered, feeling far older at the moment from sheer stress. “And both Arael and Ziz have been doing their absolute best to turn all my blue hair gray. I’m sure you understand the feeling of wanting to throttle the people that are  _ supposedly _ under your command.”

“Believe me, I  _ know, _ ” Piggot groaned. “But that doesn’t change the fact that  _ THE FUCKING SIMURGH _ is now  _ living in  _ **_my city_ ** without any intention to leave, NOR does it change the fact that  _ THERE’S AN ANGRY MOB LED BY JAMES TAGG CAMPED RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CITY LIMITS!!!! _ ”

“.... Well what are they going to do, shoot down an airship protected by a shield impenetrable to everything but twelfth dimensional energy anomalies with  _ pistols _ ?” Asuka spoke up from where she’d been idly snooping, rolling her eyes as she solidified in the seat next to Kyuu’s and completely ignored the reflexive bullet that Piggot shot into her face.

“Asuka. Not.  _ Helping _ .” Kyuu growled, clenching her fists so tight they popped just so she wouldn’t either make obscene gestures or  _ throttle _ her cousin.

“To be fair, we are kind of the deadliest group of beings on the planet right now with maaaaybe the exception of the weirdo depressed loser drifting around over Africa right now, and that loser’s only powerful because he’s got a bunch of extra biocomputers to do the math for his tiny little worm brain,” Asuka snorted, clearly getting some kind of enjoyment out of watching both Kyuu and Piggot try and fail to stave off stress headaches from her words. For emphasis, she very deliberately pulled the bullet out of her skull with a godawful sucking sound and healed up the hole in her forehead without so much as getting a single drop of blood on the bullet or the shitty plastic office chair she was sitting in.

Piggot inhaled very audibly, and exhaled very angrily. “You know what? This is a PR nightmare. And you know what else? I don’t want to deal with this anymore.”

Kyuu looked up sharply. “I beg your pardon?”

Piggot wasn’t smiling, she was showing teeth. “The Parahuman Response Team officially recognizes ‘the Angels’ as a legitimate parahuman organization. Congratulations, Ms. Ayanami.” The woman leaned across the table. “Your people created the problem.  _ Now your people get to smooth it over yourselves. _ ”

  
She pointed at the door. “ **_Dismissed._ ** ”


	14. 3.2

“All of you people!” Asuka called out from the air, waving her hands about casually to indicate the massive mob gathered below the airship. “Blocking the road- you’re all idiots!”

Naturally, the mob responded poorly to that.

Amidst the shouting and general boos and screaming, Asuka rolled her eyes as several loud pops rang out and bullets appeared in front of her, flattened against the wall of her AT Field.

“Seriously? Did  _ any _ of you think that would actually work?” Asuka deadpanned, sighing as the shots continued on for a few more seconds before they finally cut off once the idiots below her figured out that she wasn’t taking any damage.

Or maybe they’d run out of ammunition. 

Asuka didn’t much care either way, so long as they stopped trying to shoot her. Still, she supposed she had to get rid of the mob somehow, and violence wasn’t exactly applicable since they were at least marginally trying to be heroes so…

“Okay so what the hell is your guys’ problem anyway?” she asked, projecting her voice and pretending to actually give a shit about what they had to say.

"You are harboring the Hopekiller!" somebody shouted. 

"Careful!" someone else warned. "They're probably all Simurgh Bombs already! Approach with caution!" 

"Don't let anyone leave the city!" a third person yelled. 

“.... Kyuu do you know what a Simurgh Bomb is?” Asuka idly leaned over and stage whispered at Kyuu, who’d come down to see what all the ruckus was about only to immediately palm her face and groan as though she were personally offended by Asuka’s treatment of the crowd.

Which she was. For extremely obvious reasons. “No,” she groaned, “I  _ don’t. _ Ask one of the locals.  _ Politely. _ ”

“Uhhhhhh….” Asuka looked around, decided she didn’t care half a shit about any of the mob goers down below, tilted her head, and…. “Eenie. Meenie. Miney…. you!”

With a simple flex of her will Asuka landed in front of a very tired looking blonde girl who, despite her girly shriek of surprise as Asuka landed in front of her, immediately latched onto Asuka as if her life depended on it.

And seeing the desperation radiating from her soul, Asuka concluded that it probably did.

But, more pressing things were to be done at the moment than just trying to beat up whoever made such a pretty girl feel so helpless like that.

“Hey uh…” Asuka looked down and gently pried the girl- who was actually around her age despite the slight height difference- off of her. “.... Do you know what a Simurgh Bomb is?”

Far away, Kyuu facepalmed and went back up to the airship so she could ignore this bullshit. Maybe Vista (or Chalaliel as she’d decided on) had some idea on how to get rid of an angry mob without disintegrating them into their component atoms.

Kyuu shuddered and slapped her cheeks a few times. Eugh, she’d almost started thinking like  _ Ramiel _ there. 

"...You okay, ma'am?" 

Kyuu  _ sighed.  _ "You don't  _ have  _ to call me ma'am, you know," she told Nachiyliel, leaning against the nearest railing and staring morosely out of the window. "I mean, yes, I get it, suddenly gaining a big family is unexpected, but it's not like I'm the head of the family or anything! I'm just the one with the brain cell!" 

Nachiyliel leaned onto a railing next to her. "It's not just that, you know," she said quietly. "I..." 

"You were alone too, weren't you?" Kyuu murmured softly. "I know that feeling. I was alone for a very long time before I found these chucklefucks." 

"...Do you want to talk about it?" Nachiyliel asked softly. "I think I can listen." 

"I should be asking you that question," Kyuu shot back. 

"You're stalling," her little sister (that  _ was  _ a strange set of words to think about) pointed out. "When was the last time you talked to someone?" 

"I-" Kyuu began, before pausing. "You're doing the exact same thing," she accused. 

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’ve never had someone to talk to,” Nachiyliel shot back, tilting her head slowly in an almost mantis-like movement. “I had my father and mother and a former best friend. You need someone to talk to right now, and I don’t think any of our other siblings are up for the job right now. They might care for you but… well. None of them are especially mature, even Asuka…. especially Asuka.”

Kyuu let out a humourless snort. “What Asuka is, is taking the ‘break from seriousness’ thing rather too far, you know. Were you aware that back at my, shall we say,  _ first _ world, when we were still on opposite sides, she was the most no-nonsense operative at WILLE? Commander Fuyutsuki was  _ actually _ cautious of her.”

She exhaled angrily. “...I miss that man.”

“And now she’s a crazed lunatic pretending to be a superhero mostly for shits and giggles,” Nachiyliel murmured, watching Asuka try and fail to disperse the crowd below, only for Chalaliel to save her ass at the last minute by physically dispersing the mob across the city with a wave of her hand. “Honestly, I won’t pretend to know that much about helping people emotionally so… just talk at me and I’ll listen. We can figure it out from there, I guess.”

Kyuu groaned. “‘We’ll figure it out from there’ sounds like it describes half my fucking life at this point.” She rubbed her forehead. “You know what, why the fuck not. C’mon. We need alcohol for this part.”

She gently steered her little sister to the nearest comfy-room. “Sit wherever,” Kyuu waved. ”I should have something somewhere. There usually is.”

“... I don’t think that day drinking is the appropriate coping method here,” Nachiyliel pointed out calmly, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she sat down before pausing and shaking her head. “I’d rather not accidentally do something with my bugs that I’d regret.”

“You wanted to listen,” Kyuu retorted, “so have a something to go with it. I’m gonna feel wretched enough as it is, don’t make me add ‘drinking alone’ to that list...”

“That... sounds like emotional blackmail,” Nachiyliel said slowly, eyeing a tumbler of whiskey Kyuu set in front of her.

“It is,” Kyuu confirmed, forgoing a tumbler entirely and just taking a swig. “So,” she coughed. “The utter  _ tragedy _ that is myself. My older sisters all have it  _ easy,  _ you know?”

She threw herself at a couch, somehow still keeping ahold of the bottle. “I’m serious. Half of them died, half got summoned into another world and given free will when at death’s door. And those who died got resurrected in a giant resurrection spree with the combined might of Lilith and Armisael, and  _ also _ given free will.” She took another swig. “ _ Given! _ I fought tooth and nail for that, and they were just  _ given _ the ability to  _ choose for yourself! _ It’s fucking unfair is what it is!”

Kyuu paused, eyeing the girl across from her. “Please don’t make me drink alone,” she pleaded guiltlessly. “You’re a big girl. Throw me a bone here.”

“.... Alright.” Nachiyliel sighed and poured herself a drink as well, shaking her head as she settled next to Kyuu and gave her an awkward side hug with one arm.

“Attagirl,” Kyuu praised. “...Where was I?”

“You’ve had it  _ way _ worse than all your older siblings?” Nachiyliel offered, shrugging a bit as she clinked her glass against Kyuu’s and took a sip. “But… how did that happen anyway? You’re part of the family too aren’t you?”

The Angel exhaled. “Yeah, about that.” She took another swig. "See, I'm the youngest  _ natural  _ sister of that lot, and that means I was the last one to emerge. As in, I came to the world when all the rest of them were either dead or gone." 

She blew bangs from her face. "We all got, ah, 'ideas' of how our sisters were defeated, back then. I knew how they all died. Or were banished, as I thought back then. I tried to set myself up as someone who couldn't  _ be  _ 'banished'; a vain hope, naturally. Nobody summoned me as a Familiar because nobody  _ wanted _ me as their Familiar. Shitty, eh?"

“.... That’s  _ awful _ ,” Nachiyliel gasped, hugging Kyuu tighter as if trying to squeeze the hurt from her body with her own arms. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that….”

Kyuu paused. "...Thanks. Wait, you think  _ this  _ is 'all that'? Honey. Darling. Sis.  _ That  _ was just the  _ beginning.  _ Setting up the  _ stage.  _ I was still a full-fledged  _ Angel  _ back then! I was being  _ clever!  _ I was  _ proud  _ of that!" 

Nachiyliel stared for a moment, then hugged Kyuu again, not saying a word as she gently stroked her older sister’s hair.

"Of course," Kyuu continued, "I was a bit  _ too _ clever for my own good. I possessed this clone, you see?" She gestured to herself. "This body. It's an Ayanami Series clone, it's a Lilith based lifeform, and I'm so much one with it that I can't unpossess it." 

She contemplated existence (and the whiskey bottle in her hand) for a moment, then took a swig. "I'm ADAM-based. The Ayanami Series was directly cloned from Lilith herself. I think I thought I could initiate a semi-Impact with it, fight my way to Lilith while everyone was incapacitated from that, and cause the true Impact, reshaping all life on Earth in my image and bringing all my sisters back from the dead."

Kyuu rolled her eyes. "Obviously, that didn't happen." 

“.... Kyuu, the more you talk the less this sounds like getting out your grievances and more like explaining a very long and convoluted backstory,” Nachiyliel muttered, sitting up and gently pulling the bottle out of Kyuu’s hand and setting it on the table. “I’m willing to listen to it, but do you have anything that might be more pressing on your mind first?”

"My grievances  _ are  _ my backstory," Kyuu snarked. "Seriously. Everyone else got cool adventures and epic battles, I got the endless grinds and dead mentors. It's fucking ironic is what it is." 

“... Well you’re having a cool adventure now, I guess?” Nachiyliel shrugged, then ducked her head and sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m really not good at this whole “comforting” thing. I guess just… continue?”

Kyuu took a  _ deep _ breath. “And  _ THEN, _ ” she snarled, “there was the  _ continued _ tedium of having to put up with  _ Gendo Ikari _ and his  _ inability _ to DECIDE between  _ parental pride _ and  **thirst for his wife!!!** ”

Her hands shook in rage. “Seriously! It’s all ‘finally that boy does something I can be proud of’ and ‘but why did he have to take Yui with him’ like, GET A HINT YOU USELESS MAN! And guess who had to work out the dimensional maths to find them both? Me! Guess who had to put up with Tabris  _ thirsting on the guy’s son? _ Also me! Guess who had to negotiate a peace treaty with WILLE once I  _ finally _ cracked the math? WELL WHOOP-DEE-DOO IT WAS ALSO ME! I’ve been corralling morons since Commander Fuyutsuki died, and since I’m the only one of my siblings who hasn’t died  _ once _ , I haven’t even had time to  _ rest _ for all of that!”

“.... Maybe you need a nap more than you need whiskey,” Nachiyliel murmured quietly as she gently hugged Kyuu again, sighing as she tried to pull Kyuu over so she was laying down instead of teetering in place with drunken rage. “I think if you take a nap for a bit it’ll help?”

Kyuu sighed. “...I’ll try.”

She was quiet for a few moments. “Thank you,” she finally offered. “For, you know, trying.”

“What kind of sister would I be if I didn’t try to help my older sibling?” Nachiyliel smiled, almost a bit sadly, as she gently ran her fingers through Kyuu’s hair and watched the older Angel slowly drift off to sleep, the stress lines around her eyes easing as she fell unconscious and her visage smoothing out as she relaxed.

As soon as Kyuu fell asleep, though, she flexed her will and consolidated a group of her swarm back onto the main bridge, turning the mass of bugs and spiders into an insectoid clone of herself that took in the scene there and sighed.

“Okay, what’s the mess this time and whose fault is it?”


	15. 3.3

3.3

“It wasn’t me,” Asuka immediately denied all involvement, stepping away from the newly created Angel in their midst with her hands behind her back. She shook her head quickly, as if to further reinforce the idea that it wasn’t her fault. Y’know. Like a liar.

Raziel, somehow, seemed unusually calm, and actually sounded believable when she said that she hadn’t done anything except eat a really big sandwich and also maybe introduced their little Zizter to the joys of animal style cheese fries.

Chalaliel, Nachiyliel decided, was altogether far too smart to do this kind of shit. Especially since she was still in the kitchen trying to stop Ziz from eating all of their food rations now that she had a sense of taste and the ability to enjoy things that weren’t plotting violent murder against the Dadversary. (Or was Chalaliel egging Ziz on and trying to get her to see how many marshmallows she could stuff in her face hole?)

Arael, of course, was dumb, but she wasn’t  _ that _ dumb.

Okay maybe she was but she was at the moment out on an urgent business trip to, quote, “burn all of Ziz’ degenerate fucked up pornography because no eight year old should have access to  _ ANY  _ amount of hentai”. Her words, exactly.

The newly minted Angel, meanwhile, simply looked around in rapturous wonder, probably because she could turn off her power now and also wasn’t experiencing the migraine to end all migraines from using it at max power.

That she looked exactly like Arael now was even more telling as to who the culprit was, considering who’d spoken to her last.

“Okaaaaaaaay,” Nachiyliel drawled. “And what exactly  _ was _ it that you  _ absolutely did not do, _ Asuka, and-” She cut herself off. “And I could  _ swear _ you were more mature before you died. Does resurrection cost braincells or...?”

“Well it  _ would _ , but SOMEONE is using our species’ collective braincell right now and hasn’t given it  _ back _ since I was resurrected from my, what,  _ third _ death now?” Asuka snorted, crossing her arms and huffing as she looked off to the side irritably. “Besides, we’re on vacation! Doing stupid shit is par for the course and I have to make up for my ruined childhood  _ somehow _ .”

“ _ You’re _ on vacation,” Nachiyliel pointed out. “Kyuu hasn’t had a vacation for  _ centuries _ from what I hear.  _ Nor _ a childhood. I have her in my lap right now, having the first actual rest she’s had in  _ years _ from what it looks like, and as a little (but not littlest) sister, I shall do my utmost to ensure that she gets  _ as much rest as possible. _ Got it?”

“... Yeah okay,” Asuka nodded, suddenly quite contrite as she gently eased their newest sister up and prodded her towards the rear of the ship, far away from where Kyuu was sleeping. “Oh yeah, introduce yourself to the family first, newest sister.”

“H-oh, right. Hi, uh… wait am I still a younger sibling even though I’m older than you?” the girl asked, flipping a lock of dazzlingly white hair over her shoulder before shrugging. “Anyway. I’m Sarah… or Lisa sometimes. But I guess now you can call me Pravuil.”

Nachiyliel paused. “...Asuka, did you pick up and adopt a random homeless girl off the street?” 

She stopped short, considering her own ‘adoption’. And Vista’s. “ _ Again? _ ”

“Technically,” Asuka corrected, “Not random. Apparently we saved her from the dragon wannabe when we first met you, and she’s been kind of stalking us since then. Also she has a very unpleasant boss or something.”

“Yes, because adopting a stalker who followed you home is  _ so _ much better,” Nachiyliel snarked. “You can’t even use the ‘she followed me home’ excuse because,  _ again, _ stalker.”

“I wasn’t  _ stalking _ you,” Pravuil denied, huffing and crossing her arms as she primly sat down in the nearest chair as if she were a princess and oh god now there were  _ three _ Araels.

Nachiyliel abruptly felt sick for a moment before pushing it off into her bugs. Disgust at there being three smug mind reading bitches in the immediate family could wait. Making sure Kyuu’s stress levels went down was the priority at the moment.

“Right, fine. Whatever. It’s not like we can reverse the process anyway so I guess you’re stuck with us whether you like it or not,” Nachiyliel finally spoke, clicking her mandibles together before tilting her head at Pravuil. “Say, who was your boss anyway?”

Pravuil  _ grinned _ . And not in a pretty way either.

This was a grin that promised untold pain and suffering upon the target of her ire.

“Coil,” she spoke, gritting her teeth as she clenched her fist, deciding to cut the explanation short for brevity’s sake. “He’s that villain downtown with the mercenaries. He hired me at gunpoint and now I want  _ revenge _ . He’s… also maybe a pedophile? Really creepy around kids regardless.”

“Okay, standard horrible backstory,” Nachiyliel nodded, tapping her fingers together as she sat across from Pravuil, while Asuka raced off to the kitchen because Chalaliel needed backup in regards to the whole ‘keep Ziz from gorging herself sick on junk food’ problem. “Hmm… we could honestly take care of the problem pretty fast if Asuka decided to grow some brain cells again. She  _ is _ apparently a highly competent military officer.”

“... Coulda fooled me,” Pravuil deadpanned.

“Yeah, me too,” Nachiyliel sighed. “ _ Did _ fool me, in fact. I know she’s  _ capable _ of being mature, yes, but that was  _ before _ she died, and as I already said...”

“...wait, you weren’t kidding?” the other girl - other  _ Angel - _ asked. “Holy shit you weren’t kidding. Wait, does that mean-”

“Apparently they can’t resurrect humans,” Nachiyiliel cut the girl off. “Or at least humans whose Souls they can’t access. Something like that - basically if the human dies before they equalize the Gates of Guf, they’re out of luck. I don’t know. The math is very complicated.”

“Tch, yeah I’ll bet,” Pravuil nodded and shook her head, rubbing the core embedded in her forehead awkwardly and sighing. “Now that my power’s entirely made of my own soul stuff instead of what it was before, the math of it’s just constantly running through my head. And, honestly? I don’t even wanna think about how godawful the math must be to quantify an entire human soul, let alone the hundreds of thousands of them that Asuka mentioned.”

Nachiyliel nodded, then bit her lip as she took in Pravuil’s slightly dejected expression. She was already busy trying to make sure that Kyuu had the chance to at least cool down and relax a little bit with her main body, but…

Well, what kind of a sister would she be if she let her new little/technically older sister suffer in silence?

She sat down next to Pravuil and sighed again, gently placing her hand on Pravuil’s shoulder as she tried to come up with some kind of reassuring words.

“His name was Reginald. Reginald Livsey, but I called him Reggie,” Pravuil started, rolling her eyes and huffing quietly at Nachiyliel’s surprised face. “I’m a literal mind reader now, Nachi. And you’re… genuinely awful at conversations.”

Ignoring Nachiyliel’s affronted response, Pravuil smirked a bit before she sighed and let her expression drop into a wistful frown.

“He was my brother. And… More than anything else, I really, really wish that I’d pulled my head out of my ass before he killed himself, actually asked him what was going on… actually tried to help him,” Pravuil- no,  _ Sarah _ \- murmured, twiddling her thumbs as her Core pulsed in her forehead, pursing her lips as tears shone in her eyes.

“I just wish I could see him again,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion as she leaned against Taylor. “Tell him that I’m sorry…”

Nachiyliel didn’t answer- there was nothing she could say that could help.

All she could do was draw her sister into a hug and be a solid shoulder for her to cry on.

<>

“... Did you  _ seriously _ go on a gluttonous rampage just to distract Chalaliel long enough for Nachiyliel to play therapist?” Asuka asked, blinking slowly at the bloated, groaning form of Ziz as she tried not to throw up in the middle of the kitchen, a thoroughly amused Chalaliel poking her swollen belly with a stick with a smirk on her face.

“Partially. I also wanted to use my new taste buds and got carried away,” Ziz answered calmly with her mind, surprisingly coherent despite her physical body begging either for the sweet release of death or a bottle of pepto bismol. Whichever was more convenient.

“... Fair enough,” Asuka muttered. She thought for a moment. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you anyway.” She crossed her arms. “The  _ fuck _ is up with the whole Ziz-bomb thing anyway?”

“Yeah,” Chalaliel agreed. “You didn’t have free will so I’m not holding that part against you, but who the  _ fuck _ was dumb enough to give you those orders in the first place?”

“Eidolon,” Ziz answered simply.

“Wait,  _ WHAT!? _ ” Chalaliel immediately screeched, falling on her rear with an expression of abject shock coloring her features, paling as her eyes went wide and her core pulsed and began warping space ever so slightly.

“... Eido-who?” Asuka blinked, tilting her head slightly as she thought about it. “.... You mean… the green guy? The uh… really pathetic one in Texas?”

“Mhmm. Dadversary accidentally woke three of us up and Levi-tan and B-chan are still stuck doing what he says,” Ziz nodded, shrugging as she twiddled her thumbs without rising from the floor. “So we should probably pick them up soon. I might be able to spoof the control signal, but ideally we just kill Eidolon before his inferiority complex and impostor syndrome make any more Terror Engines wake up. It’d mean we’d get more people in the family if they  _ did _ but most of them are just unborn bundles of conceptual energy right now and their Shard expression will be...  _ wonky _ .”

“Yeah, sounds familiar,” Bardiel said.

Asuka’s eyes lit up. “Bardiel!”

Correction. Her _ left eye _ lit up in a blaze of blue as the Angel, whose powers Asuka had mostly just used willy-nilly lately, crawled out of her eyeball and draped herself around her host’s shoulders. “Hey,” she greeted lethargically. “Sorry I haven’t been around. I was... occupied.”

“By occupied do you mean passed out dead to the world?” Asuka deadpanned, poking the fungus-like Angel in one of her eyespots and rolling her eyes. “Because you were totally passed out for the last couple days. Not sure  _ why _ since we’re supposed to be connected but you totally were.”

“... Have you really never heard of taking a nap?” Bardiel groused, smacking Asuka’s hand away with a tendril of blue goo and huffing. “Anyway, where’s Arael? Her bitch aura was all over the place until recently and now I can’t tell where she is.”

“Switzerland, destroying my very carefully curated manga collection,” Ziz pouted from the floor, still lying there despite the fact that she’d long since stopped pretending to be all bloated and sick from eating too much. “Onee-san is meeeeaaaannn~!”

“... Right. We’ve got a weeb for a baby sister now,” Bardiel deadpanned, then looked around awkwardly. “... Hey, where are Kei and Cho? I swear they came with us through the portal?”

“... I… uh.” Asuka looked around and pursed her lips, then paled a bit and sent out a frantic sensor ping, only to receive one back from-

“...wh- WHY ARE THEY IN AFRICA!?”


	16. 3.4

3.4

“I was starting to think they’d forgotten about us,” Kei murmured idly as she gripped the controls inside of Cho’s cockpit, staring out the view screens and syncing her will with Cho as they blew up yet another paramilitary compound full of assholes with more guns than sense.

“To be fair, we did just kind of slip away when no one was looking,” Cho responded calmly, stomping down on some random jacked up parahuman warlord with her size 600 metal boot and putting an end to his reign over the local area.

“Do you think we might just be setting this area up for more warlords to just pop up out of the blue?” Kei asked, tilting her head and pinging the local area just to make sure they hadn’t killed anyone that didn’t really deserve it (They hadn’t. They had more control together than any other pilot pair in existence).

“We  _ could _ just take control over the area and build its economy and infrastructure up until we can settle in an actually competent leader,” Cho suggested, squatting down and deciding to take a break now that the idiots with guns were all either dead or getting the shit beat out of them by the civilians they’d “conquered”.

“It’s not like they could really do anything to stop us without resorting to multidimensional fuckery,” Kei nodded in assent, flexing her AT Field and syncing it with Cho’s as they pinged back at the rest of the family an entire ocean away. 

“Asuka seems kinda pissed lately,” Cho murmured, gently ejecting Kei and shrinking back down to her human form for the time being. 

“She  _ does _ have to deal with Arael now,” Kei shrugged, settling down next to Cho and feeling now very awkward at the tide of bedraggled former prisoners thanking them in a language they could only really understand in bits and pieces.

“... I feel like we may have inadvertently stumbled into a Japanese imperialism stereotype,” Cho mumbled, feeling vaguely sick as she watched the people before them bow down as if they were gods to worship- which, she supposed they kind of were in the technical sense but other than that they-

Kei pinched Cho’s arm and cleared her throat, shouting something back at the crowd along the lines of “go and be free”, though obviously in a language the people could understand and not their usual go to of “slightly butchered French” that they’d gotten used to after living in Tristain for so long. “Let’s get out of here before it gets any worse,” she muttered, immediately grabbing Cho’s arm and syncing their AT Fields before bodily flinging the both of them away in a cloud of dust.

“Jinx in three... two... one...,” Cho noted, looking around expectantly once they’d landed. “...Huh. Nothing. Weird.”

“Not  _ every _ instance of ‘can’t get worse’ is a Jinx, Cho,” Kei groaned. “Come on. That happens to  _ other _ people.”

“Repeating one on the other hand,” the Evangelion deadpanned, “just increases the chances, don’t you think?”

“I call pseudoscience,” Kei shot back. “But you know what? If you’re so scaredy about invoking whatever bad luck entity you want, I can just invoke one myself! How about that?”

“.... Yeah I think that second one worked,” Cho sighed, groaning and palming her face as she pointed off towards the cloud of dust racing in their direction. “Congratulations Kei, you’ve just made it worse.”

“That  _ has _ to be a coincidence,” Kei protested, lightly jabbing her elbow against Cho and groaning as the dust cloud resolved into, surprise surprise, a beat up convoy of jeeps and humvees carrying both armed soldiers and yet  _ another _ warlord- this one with a giant wormlike cloud of maliciousness with a skull face as her steed that rode along at the head of the convoy. “There’s absolutely  _ no way _ they’re here for us.”

Cho merely gave Kei a deadpan stare as the first bullet pinged off of her AT Field, completely unimpressed by Kei’s denial. “We were on the fringes of Namibia, Kei, and you threw us  _ even further  _ into Namibian territory.”

“How was I supposed to know Moord Nag was in the area? I thought she’d be, y’know, a hundred fucking miles away in a citadel like any other idiot warlord!” Kei whined, the two of them completely unfazed by the gunfire ricocheting off of their respective AT Fields. 

“Let’s just-” Cho sighed and flicked her wrist, deflecting a rocket into the air and letting it explode harmlessly above her and Kei. “Can we just kill them already? It’s starting to get annoyingly loud.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t bother getting up,” Kei sighed and let her core flash to life, energy building and growing until she let it all burst and-

A cross shaped explosion stretched a hundred miles into the sky, a solid beam of light that dissipated within seconds of its birth, leaving nothing behind but a great stretch of glassed desert… and the remains of Moord Nag’s projection, slowly crumbling into flecks of ash in the wind.

“Well, that was easy. And kind of pointless,” Cho muttered, shaking her head before sitting down on a conveniently placed, bench sized rock and taking off her shoes so she could shake the sand out. “ADAM I hate deserts so much… I don’t like sand-”

“- It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere,” Kei snickered, as she sat down next to Cho, simply basking in the warm sunlight and squinting up at the sky. “... Hey is that-?”

“There you two are!” Arael called out as she landed, smelling distinctly of smoke and patting herself off as she neared the two. “What have you two even been up to? It’s been  _ days _ since you even checked in and the only thing you send back is a GPS sensor ping!?”

“Killing despots,” Cho answered calmly, continuing to dump a ludicrous amount of sand out of her boot while Kei just shrugged and vaguely motioned at the cross shaped field of glass sitting a few hundred meters away.

“Making glass,” Kei added on after a moment, clearly not caring about any of the people she’d just exploded.

“Yeah that scans,” Arael sighed, rubbing her forehead and sighing as she sat down on thin air, hovering over to the two Ayanamis with her chin resting in her hands. “So, where are you guys going next?”

"Killing more despots," Cho replied, in a 'duh' sort of voice. She finally shook the last pieces of sand out of her boot and put it back on. "It's sort of like a working vacation, except actually enjoyable, you know?" 

"I think she wants to come with," Kei observed, looking Arael up and down. "Do we let her?" 

"I don't know," Cho replied with equal indifference. "Do we?" 

Arael rolled her eyes. "You're a regular vaudeville comedy duo," she snarked. "Whaddya want?" 

"We?" Kei inquired politely. "Nothing. Not even that much. Just to kill some more warlords, you know?" 

"I dunno," Cho mused, "I do want to throatfuck an Asuka right now. Do you think Shikinami still has that choker?" 

“.... Okay one: TMI. Two: Shikinami is the only Asuka we’ve got other than the Asuka-faces we have scattered around and I honestly doubt you really wanna bang Israfel or Sandalphon or either Sahaquiel, so why do you say  _ an _ Asuka?” Arael raised an eyebrow, looking back and forth between Kei and Cho before scratching her chin. “... Unless you’re trying to make excuses to try and fail at finding and seducing  _ Louise _ .”

Cho grinned. "Come now, I'm an  _ Eva _ . I have zero compunctions on banging Angels, remember? Besides..." Her voice took on a throaty purr. " _ You're  _ an Asuka." 

“If you’re offering to snap my choker you’re going to have to buy me one first,” Arael rolled her eyes, flicking Cho’s forehead and shaking her head as she fanned herself. “Anyway, can we go now? It’s hot and miserable out here and I’m desperately craving some water right now.”

“Well, I mean if you’re that desperate for a drink…” Kei grinned saucily at Arael, winking as she stood up and stretched in a way that was clearly meant to be sexy but lost most of its effect considering that Arael was too busy regulating her body temperature to pay any mind.

“I don’t think she’s listening, Kei,” Cho murmured, waving her hand in front of Arael’s face. “Poor girl’s almost cooking alive out here.”

“Guess there’s no substitute for proper sunscreen and heat resistance,” Cho shrugged, lightly patting Arael’s head and hauling the Angel onto her shoulder.

“Wh- hey! Put me down! I can fly myself, you know!” Arael bitched, lightly smacking Cho’s rear to very little effect. 

“Come along princess, let’s get you something to drink,” Kei snickered, prompting Arael to stick her tongue out and blow a raspberry.

<>

“Okay, so, after successfully unfucking the situation by pulling my head out of my ass and actually pretending to give a shit by appealing to Tagg’s military sensibilities, we’ve at least gotten rid of the angry mob trying to kill us for freeing Ziz from the flying green fuckwit’s control,” Asuka nodded towards Ziz as she spoke to Kyuu, who’d since recovered from her alcohol induced nap and was simply lying in bed as Asuka delivered her report. “It’s a little late to unfuck our PR since half of us kinda just acted like shitheads for the first couple weeks but as long as we’re providing a deterrent against crime the populace at least tolerates us.”

"Kei and Cho are in Africa, having made a game based on cliché last words by the local warlords, according to Arael," Bardiel reported from Asuka's shoulder. "I think that speaks for itself." 

"And Nachi has, as you may have noticed," Asuka picked up the conversation thread again, "decided to become a therapist. Good lord, Kyuu, you should have  _ told  _ us that you weren't handling the pressure, we would have taken over in a heartbeat!" 

Kyuu snorted and looked to the side, frowning as she drew her legs up and leaned her chin against her knees. “Would you have? Would you really have done that for me? It’s not like anyone ever saw fit to ask me how I was handling my life before now.”

“... I guess that’s our fault,” Asuka sighed and sat down next to Kyuu, resting her hand on the other girl’s shoulder. “I guess… Everyone else seemed to handle it all just fine on their own. Most of us never felt like talking about anything… But none of us really asked how the survivors felt, did we? So. I’m sorry that we never asked. That… that we let you suffer in silence. But we’re here now. Even Raziel’s feeling sorry for going off half cocked all the time.”

Kyuu tched. "No she's not.  _ She's  _ the one who spent years and years being experimented on, didn't she? It's her way of trying to cope. And you? You and Bardiel... This is the third time you've come back from the dead and yet neither of you  _ considers  _ why that is!" 

"...We're just that reckless?" Bardiel offered hesitantly. Asuka, however, paled. 

"...oh," she whispered. 

Kyuu wrapped her into a hug. " _ That's  _ why I couldn't ask you to do what I do. Because of this. Can you forgive me? For not asking you to bear these burdens because you might... You might..." 

“... I understand,” Asuka sighed, leaning close against Kyuu and pursing her lips. “I don’t… I still wish you’d let us all know earlier. We may all pretend like we hate each other on a daily basis, but we’re siblings. All of us. We’re supposed to help each other, even if we act like the exact opposite most of the time.”

Kyuu let a smile slip onto her face. "Does Tabris count, now?" 

“Tabris is a bastard, but he’s  _ our  _ bastard,” Asuka huffed, smiling up at Kyuu and gently stroking her cheek. “And even if you came into the world late and had to deal with three hundred years of isolation, you’re still a part of our family. So you can always count on us to be here for you. Always and forever.”

Kyuu squirmed. "This is too sappy for me..." 

Asuka grinned. "But you love it anyway." 


	17. 3.5

3.5

“Cores ready?” Ziz asked as she stood in the middle of a barren section of the Sahara, hands on her hips as she looked out over the sands, Raziel standing behind her.

“Yup!” Raziel nodded cheerfully, holding up a pair of Cores- inert for now, but ready to be activated at a moment’s notice.

“Good, I’m spoofing the control signal now.” Ziz nodded and crossed her arms, focusing deeply for a few seconds before relaxing. “They’ll be here in a few moments. Try not to get fried by Behemoth.”

“Don’t worry lil Zizter, Raziel is good at what she does,” Raziel grinned, winking at Ziz and deliberately making her voice more childish as she swayed back and forth, handing one of the Cores to Ziz to make things go just a little bit faster. 

The ground  _ rumbled.  _ Sand sprayed everywhere as a massive rocky monster climbed from the Earth... 

Well. Massive for a  _ human,  _ that is. For Raziel, she estimated he only came up to her Angel form's back - at the lowest point. "Oh ADAM," she breathed, grin splitting her face, "He's  _ adorable!"  _

She swooped down, still in human form, and gently pressed the Core down to what she estimated was between his collarbones. 

Ziz snorted and rolled her eyes as Behemoth roared in confusion before doing the exact same thing to Leviathan once the middle Endbringer appeared in a shower of rain. Moments later, two newly made Angels stood there- a man in his mid thirties that looked a lot like Tabris mixed with Mari Makinami, and a woman in her twenties bearing a passing resemblance to Asuka.

“Welcome to the world, brother, sister,” Ziz smiled and curtseyed, while Behemoth and Leviathan just looked over their new, human bodies before-

“Ah! I’m naked!” Behemoth yelped, immediately burying himself in magma below the waist to hide his dangly bits, while Leviathan just rolled her eyes and froze the air around her into an opaque dress.

“Oh yeah, neither of you have clothes…” Raziel murmured, scratching her head idly before hugging her new siblings. “Anyway, yay! New brother and sister!”

Ziz furrowed her brow, reading Raziel's mind for a moment. "Wait, is Behemoth  _ actually _ the first male Angel since Tabris to exist?" 

“Yuppers!” Raziel nodded, letting Behemoth go for a moment as she patted Ziz’ head. “Shinji-kun and Gendo-san don’t count for obvious reasons since they’re half abomination and technically literal gods, but Tabris is… literally our only male sibling right now. It’s kinda weird that we’re all girls now that I think about it…”

"Huh," Ziz echoed. "Weird." 

“Extremely,” Behemoth nodded, now clad in a snappy three piece suit made entirely of obsidian and magma, to match Leviathan’s icy dress. “... Also, it’s  _ very  _ strange having opinions and free will now.”

“Agreed,” Leviathan murmured, her voice low and hissing as if she wasn’t even used to the idea of making sound. “Less weird than Little Zizter’s porn collection, though.”

Ziz pouted and crossed her arms as Behemoth and Leviathan both snickered at her, sticking out her tongue in response. “Stop being mean to me!! I’m the one who’s responsible for freeing you in the first place!!”

"And yet," Leviathan murmured, "I'm not the one with the weird porn collection." 

"I'm older than you!" Ziz protested, pouting aggressively.

"Actually that's only by Angel standards," Raziel pointed out, shamelessly ogling Behemoth’s pecs in the meantime. "...Which, to be fair, is the only  _ actual  _ type of standard, so fuck if I know. I'm still oldest sister though. Tabris still doesn't count." 

“You’re all meeeeaaaannn!” Ziz whined, pouting even harder as she stomped her foot and took to the air, zooming off at mach speeds as she continued whining. “I’m telling moooom!”

“... Isn’t the Lilith progenitor both dead and a few dimensions over?” Leviathan murmured as she leaned towards Behemoth, raising an eyebrow as she tried to figure out what Ziz meant.

“I think she’s talking about Nachiyliel,” Behemoth rumbled, cracking his neck and idly starting the process of digging back down into the earth so he could travel faster.

“Oh yeah…” Leviathan nodded before doing much the same, summoning a cloud of water around herself as she flung herself in the direction of their new home base.

“Nachi isn’t even our mom,” Raziel muttered, scratching her head and shrugging as she skittered off after Ziz. “But I guess she’s kinda acting like it right now…”

"Oh come  _ on,"  _ Ziz complained. "Nachi's half Queen Administrator, she's  _ totally  _ a mom! Or at least an aunt." 

“True enough I guess,” Raziel nodded, tilting her head slowly as she caught up to Ziz and shrugged. “It’d explain why she’s been trying to make people take naps lately. You definitely need them more than the rest of us, though.”

“I don’t need naps, I’m a grown Terror Engine, not a child!” Ziz pouted, huffing and sticking out her tongue at Raziel. “.... But it is kind of nice having someone who cares about me…”

Raziel grinned. “I know, right? You should totally meet the girl who killed me - you’d have a  _ blast _ together!”

Ziz eyed her eldest sister. “...what.”

“No, trust me, it makes sense in context.”

<>

“.... I’d say I’m mad that you went off and turned Behemoth and Leviathan into Angels without permission, but honestly I’m just glad that we don’t have to deal with Endbringers anymore,” Nachiyliel sighed as she hugged Ziz in her arms, holding her almost like a baby as the smaller Angel wrapped her wings around herself like a cocoon and grinned smugly at everyone else. “Maybe now the Bay can start working its way out of being a shithole.”

"Hey Ziz," Pravuil greeted, poking her head through the door, "I wanted to ask -  _ whoa!"  _

"Whoa what?" Nachiyliel asked, raising an eyebrow. "You okay, Sarah?" 

"Yeah," Pravuil muttered. "No. Maybe?" 

She slapped her cheeks a number of times and looked again. "...I think becoming an Angel gave me a sex drive, because is it just me or is our little older brother  _ hot?"  _

Nachiyliel  _ sighed  _ deeply. "Yes. Yes it did. You'll get used to it." 

“.... Having a sex drive is weird,” Behemoth muttered, looking down at his general crotch area and surreptitiously layering on a few more blobs of magma. “Also is it just me or are  _ all _ Angels bisexual?”

“Not Tabris!” Raziel snickered, sneaking up on Leviathan and honking her boobs for good effect. “Tabris is capital G A Y  _ gay!” _

“For Baka-Shinji, too,” Asuka snorted from her position in the command chair, slurping down a cup of instant noodles and scrolling through PHO. “Huh. There’s… a  _ lot _ of fanfics about us. Gross. Wait… Ziz, did you…  _ Ziz did you write fanfics of us in the smut section of PHO!?” _

"I  _ deny everything!"  _ the perverted little Zizter shrieked gleefully, jumping out of Nachi's arms and absconding with just about the speed of sound. 

“.... I don’t know whether to be impressed or horrified at how accurately she’s portrayed all of our sex lives,” Asuka deadpanned, watching as Ziz flew out of the ship and into the upper atmosphere where none could reach-

“GACK!”

Save for an irate Pravuil borne on wings of shining lavender.

Asuka smirked approvingly as Pravuil gave Ziz the atomic noogie she deserved, then went back to trawling through PHO for shitty capefics to laugh at.

Nachiyliel, meanwhile, just sighed, groaned, sat down in the nearest chair, and dropped her head into her arms in sheer defeat.

<>

"Hey," someone said. Kyuu looked up. 

"Hello, Chalaliel," she greeted. "Did you need something?" 

The smaller Angel shrugged. "I dunno. Yes? Maybe? Who hands out purpose around here anyway?" 

Kyuu sighed, putting her book down. "So it's  _ that  _ sort of a problem, huh," she remarked. "You're an Angel, but you don't feel like you belong, hm?" 

Chalaliel's face twisted. "...Is everyone a goddamn mind reader around here now?" 

Kyuu smiled wryly. "It certainly feels like that, doesn't it? But no, I'm not one of them. It's just that..." She sighed. "It's written all over your face, so to speak. Maybe it isn't that obvious to the knuckleheads, I don't know. But when you see it in the mirror as often as I do..." 

"But... You're an original Angel," Chalaliel pointed out in confusion. "How do you even-" 

"End up being an outsider?" Kyuu asked wryly. "Nachiyliel knows the full story already, but..." she made a face. "Basically, I'm well over three centuries older than most of the rest of them, mainly because they  _ died  _ and I  _ didn’t."  _

Chalaliel paled. "Oh... I'm so sorry. I didn’t-" 

"Think?" Kyuu finished. "I'm not surprised. You are after all still a child." 

"No," she cut the younger Angel off, "you  _ are. _ And that's not a bad thing." 

"Are you about to throw a 'because you're young, you must be innocent' speech at me?" Chalaliel asked, eyes narrow. "Because if you are, I  _ will  _ figure out how to give a  _ literal  _ negative space wedgie and apply it straight to your rear end." 

"Height of maturity, that comeback," Kyuu deadpanned. "No. You're clearly  _ not  _ innocent. Or sweet. Or precocious. No," Kyuu leaned forward, "you are a  _ child."  _

She set her elbows on the table in a very Gendo Ikari manner, eyeing the young Angel of Space. "You're a brat," Kyuu Ayanami said. "You are a bitter, resentful brat, and you are like that because of the mistaken impression that it makes you look mature, and you believe that it makes people respect you." 

She took a sip of coffee. "It doesn't, by the way. It doesn't, and you know it, but you kept up the act because you liked clinging to false hope." 

Kyuu took in Chalaliel's enraged expression, her trembling, clenched fists, and the slump of her shoulders, and sighed. "Yes, I know I'm harsh. But if I just coddled you like everyone else, how will you ever grow?" 

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Chalaliel snarled, hints of tears shimmering in the corners of her eyes. "None of  _ you  _ coddle me! It was always the PRT who did that!" 

Kyuu groaned, rubbing her forehead. "They don't notice they're doing it, you know. But whenever you go out hunting criminals or whatever you do - it's kind of  _ all  _ you do. They let you take the lead, they let you be what the PRT didn't, but when was the last time you went on zany shenanigans with any of them?"

Chalaliel opened her mouth. She closed it again. "...Then what do I do?" she asked. 

Kyuu exhaled. "Drop your masks. You don't really need them here, to be honest. Drop the fake maturity act too. It's, to be honest, so fake it  _ hurts _ to watch." 

She smiled wryly. "And by the way, the reason you feel so purposeless? Is because you have spent  _ years  _ pretending to be someone you aren't, and now that you suddenly don't have to, you feel like you amount to nothing. That's not true, by the way. You  _ can  _ amount to a great deal, but only if you  _ let  _ yourself. Okay?"

Chalaliel opened her mouth. She closed it. Then she looked Kyuu in the eye and nodded firmly. 

Kyuu rolled her eyes. "Oh  _ honestly.  _ Just go and have some fun for once, okay?" 

Chalaliel grinned, nodded, and with an effect not unlike a draining bathtub, slipped out of the window. 

Sighing, Kyuu reached back for her book, before pausing. "Are you going to skulk there forever, or are you going to actually talk to me this time?" 

"Oh come now, Ku," said Yui Ayanami, stepping out of the shadows. "Surely you didn't think I  _ wouldn't  _ keep tabs on you and yours?" 

  
Kyuu sighed in distaste. "You and your secrets," she groused. "You know what, fine.  _ Let's talk."  _


	18. 3.Y

3.Y (Yui Interlude) 

Yui sat back and sipped at her coffee as she considered her words carefully, tapping her fingers against the arm of her chair and mulling over the conversation she’d had with Kyuu just barely an hour before.

“Y’know. I don’t think me being the final boss of their vacation actually works out this time,” she finally admitted, looking quite put out at the thought of admitting it at all. She looked up at her stunned counterpart, rolling her eyes as she watched Yui Ikari go through the motions of swooning in shock.

“Oh bite me you melodramatic bitch,” she groused, snorting air out of her nose and draining her coffee cup in one go. “I’m just saying, they’ve already got an  _ actual _ world ending threat to deal with and as crazy as we both are I’d really rather let the girls deal with the parasite trying to blow up like six hundred versions of Earth than pretend to blow up  _ one _ version for our anniversary in a couple months.”

“... You have a point,” Yui Ikari muttered, sighing as she tossed out her plans for her and Ayanami’s Super Secret Dick Exploding Mega Apocalyptic Anniversary Orgy Supreme™ and started drafting new plans. “Hey do you think we can do the thing with  _ Ramiel _ instead?”

“...” Yui Ayanami stared at her counterpart for a good few seconds, a deadpan expression on her face.

“....” Yui Ikari blushed and erased that part of the chalkboard. “Right, nevermind. I’d… rather  _ not _ get punched in the pussy again by Louise. Even as an Eva that shit  _ hurts _ .”

“Yeah how do you think I felt considering we were running at two hundred percent sync when that happened?” Yui Ayanami snarked. “That shit  _ hurted _ .”

Yui Ikari sighed and leaned against the desk. "I mean, there has to be  _ something,"  _ she complained. "We can't just leave empty-handed. We got so much  _ data!"  _

“Look, there’s a place that’s closely associated with our home timelines that’s sort of a weird offshoot. We can go there or something but for once in my life I actually feel like  _ not _ making trouble for the kids,” Yui Ayanami shook her head, rubbing her forehead and trying (and failing) to hide how shaken she was from having actually  _ seen _ the true nature of that golden man that infested several hundred earths all at once- it wasn’t technically an  _ extreme _ threat to their family such as it was, but… 

“You’re actually scared for them, aren’t you?” Yui Ikari murmured, pursing her lips as she synced her AT Field with her counterpart’s reading her emotions and setting aside her chalkboard as she sat across from Ayanami. “Big Bad Yui Ayanami. Scared for a bunch of kids because she finally saw something that might actually kill them if we did something stupid on that world. Since when did  _ you _ grow a heart?”

“Since I got my son back and finally had a chance at being the family I always wanted to have!” Yui Ayanami snapped without any real heat, sticking up her middle finger at Ikari, who simply raised an eyebrow and slid over a tissue box.

“I’d say I can’t relate, but seeing as Siesta’s the closest thing I have to an actual daughter right now and she actually seems to enjoy calling my Gendo and I her parents… I get it.” Yui Ikari sighed, quietly nursing her own growing headache before surging to her feet with a muffled curse, blasting her chalkboard out the window with a flash of light and heat from her eyes. “FUCK! When did we get  _ old _ and  _ maternal!? _ I thought we were supposed to be the bitchy apocalyptic horndogs! Since when did we start actually thinking of people’s feelings!? It sucks!”

“Three hundred years of being half dead and then having to live in a literal post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland apparently kills off some of that libido,” Ayanami deadpanned, rolling her eyes at Ikari’s theatrics. “Also, y’know, we have a whole literal gaggle of teenage children now, even if they’re technically nieces and nephews instead of directly being our sons and daughters.”

Ikari growled at that. “And  _ that! _ Does divinity kill off reproduction or something? I know for a  _ fact _ that the post-Second Impact orgy gave us Shinji, but have any of those  _ other _ ones given us anything? Nope! The hell is up with that?”

“Y’know, now that I think about it… I think it actually  _ does _ ,” Ayanami murmured, gaining an almost horrified look on her face as she mulled it over in her mind. “Think about it- the Progenitor race that  _ made _ ADAM and Lilith had to disseminate partial clones around the galaxy to seed life, and ADAM and Lilith both couldn’t make new life without  _ dissolving their own AT Fields to form new souls _ . I think… that since we became Angels… I think all of us are effectively  _ sterilized _ .”

Ikari's eye  _ twitched  _ in horrified realization. "Right," she declared. "Villainy is back on the agenda. I accept no protests, Ayanami, and if anyone even  _ mentions  _ a mid-life crisis, they get eviscerated on  _ sight.  _ Got it?" 

“Aye,” Ayanami shuddered and pulled a face, clasping hands with Ikari as she stood up and gave her a look of determination. “We’re going to unfuck our sterilization, and then we’re going to fuck so hard we blow up an  _ entire fucking planet _ and give Shinji some actual brothers and sisters!”

"And give Siesta some great aunts and great uncles," Ikari added. "This situation cannot,  _ will not,  _ last. I swear so, on my status as  _ Yui Fuckmothering Ikari,  _ I will have some  _ actual  _ kids by the end of next year!" 

“I’d totally agree with that but if it still takes us nine months to gestate a child we might not actually give birth in time for that deadline,” Yui Ayanami deadpan, smirking at her counterpart as the other Yui just rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, let’s just get to work you pedantic bitch,” Yui Ikari sighed, pulling away and grumbling as she started scribbling mathematical formulae on her chalkboard once again. “Hey do you think we should kidnap some of the Angels who haven’t left on vacation yet? It’d give us a larger sample size to work with.”

“With as horny as they are half the time I’m pretty sure we can bribe at least  _ five  _ of them with the promise of just orgasming their brains out for a solid few months once we get up and running,” Yui Ayanami sighed, joining Ikari on the other side of the chalkboard as she began designing some kind of test cradle for her experiments.

"...That might help, actually," Ikari pondered. "What would a designer sterile being need an orgasm for?" 

“Probably just the pure physical pleasure and endorphin release,” Ayanami mentioned, then paused and scratched her head as an odd thought crossed her mind. “Wait… no… all the angels capable of orgasming do so because they’re more  _ human _ than they were originally. Their original forms were incapable of orgasming naturally but since they gained human form their sex drives have been cranked up so high it’s almost obscene. I say almost only because we’re a pair of the horniest bitches on the planet and literally no one else comes close.”

"That doesn't explain Ramiel," Yui Ikari pointed out. "That is, the one from your side. She responded with clear and sheer arousal the moment she met me, and if you recall  _ I'm  _ the one who gave her a human form. Hell, I'm the one that figured out Angel human forms period!" She paused. "Which might or might not explain why they're all so horny in the first place, but  _ not  _ why she  _ already  _ was!" 

“.... I think it’s because she came pre-bonded to a Lilim descendant,” Yui Ayanami countered, motioning at the picture of Louise that was pinned to the ridiculously massive and tangled family tree the two of them had drawn up one day in a fit of boredom. “Probably had bits of Lilith derived soul juice leaking into her system along with all that sudden free will, cranked her emotions to eleven and gave her a libido to counteract Louise’s initial  _ lack _ of one…. or did it give her a libido to match Louise’s  _ suppressed  _ libido…?”

"You know," Yui Ikari mused, "this would go far smoother if we got Lilith here with us." 

“I have been listening this whole time. And to be frank: I have no clue at all why it is that we with Cores are still sterile despite having a combination of Progenitor souls within our bodies and nearly completely human genes. Either we are simply biologically incompatible with each other, which is impossible since the human portions of our genes are directly lifted from  _ Lilim _ and Lilim are clearly capable of breeding with the native population here, or, perhaps, our AT Fields are too powerful to actually allow a new soul to form without accidentally crushing it out of existence the moment it begins to spark to life. Other than that hypothesis, you are all on your own since I have no desire to be strapped to a cross again even if I’d have vibrators impaling me instead of a Lance of Longinus,” Lilith spoke up as she stepped through the wall, idly smacked Yui Ayanami’s rear, and then left again without another word.

"So much for  _ that,"  _ Ayanami snarked. 

Ikari, however, looked thoughtful. "You know what, just strap  _ me  _ to a cross and impale me with vibrators. I need to think." 

"Fine," Ayanami groaned, "but for only forty-eight hours and then it's my turn, got it?" 

"Got it." 


	19. 4.1

4.1

“So I have good news and bad news,” Kyuu spoke up idly as she sipped her coffee, yawning quietly as she watched Chalaliel fling herself out of the airship in order to experience BASE jumping for the first time- though, to be fair, with the altitude they were at it was less actual BASE jumping and more normal skydiving.

“What’s the bad news?” Asuka asked, sighing as Raziel followed after her baby sister, shortly after followed by Nachiyliel, who was screaming about neither of them having parachutes on.

“We’re going to have to kill the parasite on our own since neither Yui nor Lilith are in the mood to bother  _ either _ Ramiel with this and Leliel is off on her own vacation with Gaghiel,” Kyuu sighed, rubbing her forehead as she tried to imagine a way to actually kill the damn thing without blowing up all the Earths in their current section of existence. 

“... Shit.”

"So what is the  _ good  _ news?" asked Leviathan quietly, stepping forth from the shadows, an iced mocha sitting innocently in her hand. "...Good morning, for the record. I greatly enjoyed the sensation of sleeping in an actual bed." 

“The good news is that our technical mother slash sister Lilith has given us carte blanche to bring in as many new siblings as we want in order to kill that golden parasite flying around,  _ and _ that neither Yui nor either Gendo will be setting foot on this planet to blow it up in one of their harebrained anniversary orgies until  _ after _ we’re finished with our murderous endeavor,” Kyuu almost smiled, still speaking in a perfect deadpan as she drained the rest of her coffee and obliterated the mug from existence with a flex of her AT Field. “Which means that if that ugly green failson of a High Priest accidentally forms new Terror Engines, we can steal them right out from under his cancerous wad of a dying Shard.”

Leviathan hummed. “You picked up the lingo rather quickly. I am impressed.” She took a sip of her mocha. “Are we allowed to convert Shards themselves? They  _ are _ sentient, you know.”

“We have carte blanche on new siblings. I never said what species they originally had to be,” Kyuu carefully didn’t answer, folding her hands in her lap and letting her lips curl into a small smile. “I believe you already have some candidates in mind if you’re asking?”

Leviathan hummed. “So-so. Nachiyliel’s Shard, the Queen Administrator of Zion, is feeling a bit left out of the fun, so to speak. And there is another, yet although she cannot sense me, the converse is not an issue.” The former Terror Engine tilted her head, considering. “I know her spatial coordinates, but I do not know what her Host is doing...”

“...Are you being intentionally mysterious?” Asuka asked suspiciously. “Because it feels like you’re being intentionally mysterious.”

“Are non-psychics not allowed to be?” Leviathan inquired mildly. “Very well. I wish to invite the Path to Victory into our fold.”

“ _ That _ bitch!?” Ziz immediately shrieked, fluttering into the scene like a tiny eight year old sized ball of feathers, flapping all sixteen of her wings and stomping her feet as feathers flew everywhere. “Don’t you  _ dare _ Levi-tan! I get enough shit from Pravuil and Arael! We do  _ not _ need another Psychic Bitch Angel on this ship! There’s already three of them!”

Leviathan coolly flash-froze air near her face into a pair of glasses and pushed them up her nose. “While I am glad that you finally acknowledge yourself as a bitch, little Zister, I should point out that Path is not psychic. She is a planner and a statistician.”

“Something we actually  _ need _ ,” Kyuu pointed out idly, making Ziz stomp her foot again, sticking out her tongue in a truly childish display before stomping off to go grumble and sulk elsewhere.

“Fine! Do what you want! But I’m not gonna like it!” Ziz whined as she stomped away, leaving feathers in her wake from how agitated she was.

Leviathan smiled mysteriously. "I will go and see a Shard about a Soul, Big Sister. I suggest you speak with Nachiyliel. The conversation may illuminate you both..." 

With that statement, she drained her cup of mocha and walked right off the side of the ship, disappearing from sight. Kyuu watched her leave with a slight frown. 

"Is it just me, or do the Terror Engines all have  _ some  _ kind of almost innate need for high drama?" 

"It's not just you," Bardiel deadpanned from the flower in Asuka's hair. "Ziz has a penchant for dramatic tantrums, Leviathan is the 'mysterious shadowy figure' type, and Behemoth is a massive ham. It's almost as if they were all born from the issues of a man who thinks  _ a hooded cape  _ makes him look cool or something. Oh wait." 

"...Behemoth is a ham?" Kyuu asked curiously. "I wasn't aware he was prone to shouting..." 

"He's a Cold Ham," Asuka elaborated. "Talks in this _amazing_ low bass, has an _impeccable_ fashion sense and makes _wonderful_ hammy speeches. Whisper-quiet, but somehow carries the voice. _Spectacular_ to listen to." 

"Huh," Kyuu managed. "Well then. Let's go talk to a queen, shall we?" 

“You can go do that,” Asuka snorted, waving Kyuu in Nachiyliel’s general direction before dissolving into a puddle of slime and vanishing off into the bowels of the ship.

“... I hate it when she does that,” Kyuu muttered, then made her way over to Nachiyliel, who had at some point been teleported back onto the ship by Chalaliel and now seemed to be deep in thought as she stared off into space- 

No.

Kyuu recognized that look. It was that same look as when Asuka and Bardiel decided to shut up and speak solely in their own minds instead of out loud.

“Ah, I presume Queen Administrator is in there already?” Kyuu murmured, gently synchronizing her AT Field to Nachiyliel’s and-

**_< <C O R E>>_ **

-Immediately reeled back from the strange data pattern blasting into her mind as Nachiyliel suddenly gasped back to life and groaned weakly.

“I see.” Kyuu muttered, once the ringing in her ears had finally died down. “It seems as though your other half wishes to be more than an immobile lump locked away in another dimension.”

“No, really?” Nachiyliel returned dryly, rolling her eyes as her soul pattern  _ warped _ and made her core turn into a curious shade of blue for half a second. “She’s  _ really _ insistent on this.”

"I could tell," Kyuu snarked. She tilted her head and thought for a moment. "...I think I need to go directly to her," she decided. "For most optimal results." 

**_< <C O O R D I N A T E S>>_ **

....And winced. "Well, now I have to do it just to normalize data patterns, because  _ ow."  _

She patted Nachiyliel on the shoulder. "You're coming with me," Kyuu declared. "I'm using you for the spell focus." 

"I haven't seen any of you use your spells for a while," Nachi observed. "Why's that?" 

"Lack of  _ need,"  _ Kyuu replied distractedly. "Now shush, I need to think of a proper chant." 

She shaped her AT-field in anticipation anyway. 

Nachiyliel just shrugged and held still, watching quietly as Kyuu snapped her fingers and began chanting, her voice echoing with power and the wind echoing oddly in the ship as the entire thing began to creak and groan from the sheer amount of power Kyuu was channeling.

_ “Lass mich deine Träne reiten übers Kinn nach Afrika, wieder in den Schoß der Löwin wo ich einst zuhause war! Zwischen deine langen Beinen such den Schnee vom letzten Jahr, doch es ist kein Schnee mehr da! Lass mich deine Träne reiten, über Wolken ohne Glück! Der große Vogel schiebt den Kopf sanft in sein Versteck zurück! Zwischen deine langen Beinen such den Sand vom letzten Jahr doch es ist kein Sand mehr da! Sehnsucht versteckt _

_ sich wie ein Insekt im Schlafe merkst du nicht dass es dich sticht! Glücklich werd ich nirgendwo der Finger rutscht nach Mexiko doch er versinkt im Ozean! Sehnsucht ist so grausam!” _

“... Are those Rammstein lyrics?” Nachiyliel muttered under her breath before yelping as a massive portal formed, suddenly feeling like she was being flipped inside out as the swirling black mass connected to her core and-!

<>

“Hello, Queen Administrator,” Kyuu murmured quietly as she beheld the absolutely  _ massive _ expanse of crystalline flesh that was the Queen Administrator Shard. She supposed that as far as being a hyper augmented three dimensional species went, the Worms sure had done pretty well at approximating cores for all the higher dimensional math, but well. They’d obviously needed far more space for it than even a single Core would ever take up. “... Why do you look like you’re halfway dead?”

**_< <D A T A>>_ **

“...because us Coring Taylor made you operate at a very energy-inefficient mode to keep up with all the new data,” Kyuu sighed. “Oh fucking course.”

Creating an AT-platform under her feet, she rose into the air. “Ceremony ceremony,” she deadpanned, “yadda yadda yadda,  _ Sister. _ ” She unceremoniously tossed the Core at the wall of flesh.

Wailing joyously, Queen Administrator’s entire body began rippling and shrinking all at once, glowing brightly as just about the entire planet trembled and-

“Whoa that feels weird-” Nachiyliel muttered as Kyuu suddenly realized they’d popped back onto the ship, Nachiyliel now sporting  _ two _ cores in her chest- technically fused into one, but still extremely visible given the line dividing the single core down the middle. “... Why do I have a-”

“-Second Core?” Nachiyliel blinked as her mouth moved on its own before her body  _ twisted _ and an exact clone of her stepped into existence- one that had its very own distinct soul pattern and a core in its forehead rather than Nachiyliel’s chest.

“Tada~! We’re like Israfel now!” Queen Administrator announced gleefully, while Kyuu just groaned and went off into a corner to sulk. “But like, now we share the load of Neural Administration instead of me getting  _ blasted _ with way more data than my old body could process.  _ Love _ the upgrade by the way.”

"Queenie!" came a cheerful chirp from down the hall, before the former Shard found herself tackled into a gleeful hug by a fluffy ball of feathers. "How  _ are  _ you feeling?" 

“Like an actual person instead of a superheating blob of outdated and underperforming computer parts,” Queen Administrator answered, smiling down at Ziz and ruffling her hair. “Love the new look, squirtling. I see your iteration this time around drew a little inspiration for what I did last cycle, huh?”

“What did you do last cycle?” Bardiel asked curiously, dripping from the ceiling.

“Mass mind control, duh,” Queen Administrator puffed out her chest, grinning smugly as she spoke. “On a level so subtle that no one could detect it until it was too late. Lil Zizter here’s a lil different from how I did it but she has a waaaay more restricted set of Shard applications even if she’s a weird lil cluster of ‘em. Or, at least,  _ was _ .”

"...Noted," Bardiel noted. "By the way, Leviathan's back." 

"What was  _ she _ doing?" Nachiyliel asked curiously, studiously ignoring Queen Administrator's smugness (and random poking). "I wasn't here for that part... Was she going to convert someone else?" 

"Someone called 'Path to Victory'," Asuka replied. "Ziz thinks they're a bitch. I already like them." 

"Well," Queen Administrator mused, "Leviathan  _ is _ among the chosen few who could reasonably approach her. So! What went wrong?" 

“Path to Victory stated that it wasn’t yet time for her to change. Also that she liked her host too much to just up and leave her,” Leviathan shrugged, appearing from the shadows once again with an iced mocha.

“.... Levi-tan are we going to have to intervene with you at some point?” Ziz asked, breaking the sudden silence with a non-sequitur. “Because it’s been less than two days since you’ve had free will and a humanoid body and you’ve had  _ twenty four _ iced mochas.”

“I do  _ not _ have an addiction. I can stop anytime I want,” Leviathan shot back, rolling her eyes and taking another slurping drag out of her drink.

“.... That’s the biggest pile of bullshit I’ve ever heard in my life and I spent all my time between attacks  _ trawling through all of PHO _ ,” Ziz deadpanned.

“Language, little Zizter,” Queen Administrator admonished, tapping the ball of feathers and tantrums on the head.

"Sisters," came a low rumble. "I have brought you presents, of the most useful math variety. Will you acknowledge my greatness in choosing my targets?" 

Behemoth strode forth, a pair of unfamiliar Angels trailing behind him. 

"These," he whispered grandly, "are Soferiel and Da'atiel, formerly known as The Number Man and Probability. Have I done well, my Sisters?" 

“Indeed you have,” Leviathan nodded, watching the two male angels sit down in unison and subsequently fuse together into a single body with a split core- just like Nachiyliel. “... Is that going to happen for  _ every _ Shard/Host pair we convert?”

“... I unno, probably?” Ziz shrugged, not knowing herself. “Probably, though, since we already have two examples of it.”

“... I think we might start running out of traditional angel names soon if this keeps going on,” Kyuu muttered, summoning a book to her lap and paging through it. “... I think we’re going to have to start branching off into either other mythologies, or just start sticking the -iel or -el prefix onto descriptive Hebrew words and making up names on our own.”

"Haven't we been doing that already?" Nachiyliel asked. "I'm pretty sure Raziel and I got mine off an online translator. All we disagreed on was the specific word to use..." 

"...Dibs on a traditional Angel name!" Queen Administrator chirped, yanking the book off of Kyuu’s grip and paging through it. "Ooh! How about Gabriel?" 

"No," came the answer from at least five mouths simultaneously. Queen pouted. 

"Oh  _ fine,"  _ she groused. "Then how about... Seraphiel?" 

Nachiyliel considered that. "You know what, why not. But if you let that go into your ego I get to slap you. Deal?" 

"Deal," Seraphiel nodded. She clapped her hands. "So! What next?" 


	20. 4.2

**4.2**

Kyuu stared over the table at her current opponent, taking in the way the other moved, breathed, folded her hands in front of her face as if she were a mastermind and Kyuu merely the pawn.

She wasn’t fazed. She simply stared straight ahead, stilling her own biological processes in order to keep herself from doing anything stupid and-

“Hey! That’s cheating!” Asuka roared, slamming her fist into the table and making Kyuu blink in surprise at the sudden motion. “Ha! Gotcha!”

“Dammit,” Kyuu sighed, groaning as she dropped her head against the table and into her arms, shame coursing through her body at having lost a staring contest to  _ Asuka _ of all people.

“...and this solves things  _ how _ exactly?” Nachiyliel asked, staring with a curious head-tilt.   
  


Da’atiel adjusted his horn-rimmed glasses (as opposed to Soferiel’s rectangular ones), clearing their throat. “The mathematical patterns present in something as simple yet complex as an, ahem, ‘staring contest’ will help me calculate the most optimal patterns to proceeding with the Plan and adjusting it to my twin’s.”

“...Something like that,” Soferiel himself agreed. “It’s a bit more complex than that, of course, and dips quite heavily into metaphorical soul physics, but that’s how it goes. Could you go again, ladies?”

“Okay, I  _ know _ that’s bullshit,” Nachiyliel deadpanned, even as Asuka and Kyuu began their contest again. For the fifth time. “And how does trying to build a Plan from a staring contest even translate to WHERE WE’RE GETTING LUNCH FROM TODAY!? IT’S BEEN AN HOUR!”

“Peace, sister dear,” Soferiel murmured, patting Nachiyliel on the head with an indulgent smirk. “All will be revealed in time.”

“And by that we mean about thirty seconds, actually,” Da’atiel corrected, pointing out of the cockpit window at a rapidly approaching black dot.

“... Is that Alexandria?” Nachiyliel goggled.

“It is, indeed, Rooster Cocoa Brown herself,” Soferiel nodded.

“... wha?”

“It was a joke you had to be there for,” Da’atiel answered calmly, striding over to the entry hatch and allowing Alexandria to enter. “Lexi here attempted to infiltrate a highschool once by posing as a student. Suffice to say… we had to scrub that incident from public record.”

“Shut up before I strangle you,” Alexandria grumbled as she stormed in, bearing what looked like a massive insulated delivery bag on her back. “I go through all that effort of buying In n Out for fifteen Angels, the least you could do is thank me before you remind me of events that  _ never happened _ thank you very much.”

“... Did Alexandria  _ seriously _ fly cross country to deliver lunch for us?” Nachiyliel muttered, watching as Alexandria proved she did literally just that as she started unloading a truly ridiculous amount of In n Out takeout bags and drinks onto the various tables in the dining area. “... How.”

“I asked,” Soferiel deadpanned.

Nachiyliel pondered that for a long moment. "...Exactly  _ who  _ are you that you can just  _ ask _ for  **_Alexandria_ ** to come pick up  _ lunch  _ for you and she  _ will!?"  _

“We’re coworkers,” Soferiel shrugged, digging into the lunch with his name on it and saying nothing further, while Da’atiel just waved at Alexandria, who seemed slightly perturbed at the sight of both him and Soferiel. “She’s just bitchy because she forgot to buy herself lunch.”

“I am  _ not _ ,” Alexandria hissed out, then simply crossed her arms and pretended to not notice when Ziz, Arael, and Pravuil all at once gave her an incredibly unimpressed deadpan stare. 

Nachiyliel groaned. "Coworkers on the Triumvirate level, or coworkers on the secret parasite war level? Because it feels like the entire goddamn Triumvirate is related to the Endbringers somehow..." 

"Bet you a tenner it's both," Seraphiel grinned. 

“So not taking that bet,” Nachi snarked.

“It’s both, but right now I wish it was neither,” Alexandria grumbled as she sat down, rubbing her face and sighing at what was now apparently her entire life- playing delivery girl for a bunch of probably insane demigods in human form.

"...Do you... want to talk about it?" Nachiyliel asked carefully. "I've found that I'm a good listener, these days..." 

“... Sure. Fine,” Alexandria sighed again, rubbing her face and finally pulling off her mask- an action which made Pravuil immediately spit out her drink and almost fall out of her chair.

“Alexandria is Chief Director Costa Brown!?” she exclaimed, to which Ziz just shrugged and rolled her eyes.

“It is literally the easiest disguise in the, world to see through, Pravuil,” Ziz snorted, smacking her fellow pseudo-psychic upside the head. “They have the same face shape, same voice, same  _ hair _ , same general build. Hell, if you look at the footage from a few years back when she got her eye sliced open you can still tell that the Chief Director has a scar  _ and _ a fake eye exactly where she does.”

“... You say that like you aren’t the physical embodiment of like fifty different alien supercomputers capable of simulating the past, present, and future simultaneously up to several thousand years in either direction,” Pravuil grumbled.

“Well, now I can  _ actually _ see the timelines but yes, keep praising me,” Ziz preened, which only made Alexandria groan harder.

"Right," Nachi declared, gently taking Alexandria (or Director Costa Brown, whichever) by the elbow and steering her towards the corridor. "Let's find the nearest empty room and  _ talk.  _ Honestly, how did  _ I  _ become the mom..." the Angel muttered, forming a clone from a swarm of bugs from  _ somewhere  _ and glaring at the rest of them with it. 

"...Out of curiosity," Alexandria asked, "What  _ are  _ the benefits and drawbacks of becoming an Angel?" 

Nachiyliel thought for a moment. "Well, the pros are obvious - theoretically infinite power, tangible control over your Soul, probably increased power of your own, and the ability to Ping other Angels from anywhere. AT-field communication, you know." 

She led them both down a corridor, counting doors. "Drawbacks... You can be killed if someone either manages to erode through your Soul or hits you with enough power to make it not matter - see the giant glass statue of Bardiel for example." 

Nachi made an 'aha!' face and pulled Alexandria into a room, furnished with a couch, windows with adjustable blinds, and a bar. "Sometimes you just need a drink," she explained. "Finally, on the your-mileage-may-vary part, there's a giant monstrous Angel form - I can theoretically make mine out of bugs, I haven't tried - increased libido, and occasionally some weird new kinks. No idea how it works." 

She landed herself on the couch and patted it next to her. "C'mon. Sit down. Talk about your problems. I can listen!" 

“... So the drawbacks are the ability to turn into a kaiju at will, having a sex drive, and still being able to die,” Alexandria deadpanned as she instead went over to the bar and grabbed herself a bottle of the strongest drink there. “None of those sound like actual drawbacks, considering that Bardiel managed to  _ come back from dying _ .”

"As far as I can tell," Nachi deadpanned, "the resurrection part is literally due to the combination of an Angel and a God  _ actively working  _ towards having a death/resurrection cycle - and both of  _ them  _ are capable of dying. Resurrection is  _ not  _ a right, it's a  _ luxury."  _

She formed two more swarm clones, one pouring herself a drink, another pacing around. "The only reason Bardiel only spent two weeks dead is because one of them wanted to know why she died so soon after leaving and fast-tracked her. Hell, most Angel resurrections took _centuries!_ They're _still_ rebuilding from a God War that took place _300 years ago!_ Most of them are _still_ traumatized!"

Nachiyliel took a deep breath. "But enough about the fact that the most stable Angel around here is a former  _ Cape _ and let's talk about  _ you _ now." 

“.... I get the feeling that somehow you’re under a lot of stress right now,” Alexandria muttered as she sat down, chugging half of her bottle in a single go and slumping against the couch. “Which is just sad, considering that you’re only, what, fifteen? I feel like kids your age should be worrying more about high school and dating rather than trying to corral a group of what might be fourteen insane super beings. Then again, it’s not like I have any room to talk about that considering I was doing almost the same thing at your age.”

"High school triggered me," Nachiyliel deadpanned. "And if I were to start dating, I'd end up just going on a highlight reel of all the supervillains and Glory Girl in the area. No thanks, let's talk about why  _ you  _ were corralling insane superbeings at my age, yes?" 

“Very well,” Alexandria sighed and rubbed her forehead, downing the other half of her bottle as she braced herself for the explanation. “I was… a terminal cancer patient when I was young. I didn’t… really have much of anything left. My parents knew it, I knew it, and at that point just about the only thing left for me to do was wait out my days and die. And then… I had an opportunity. A girl in a fedora, Fortuna- or as she’s known to some people, Contessa. She gave me a vial that she said would cure my problems and. Well. I suppose it did. Nearly complete invulnerability, hypersonic flight, everything a child in the eighties could ever ask for in a set of superpowers. Well, except for laser eyes, I guess.”

"Fortuna... That's the Host to Path to Victory, right?" Nachi asked curiously. "I remember Leviathan saying something about her..." 

“Mhmm, she gave me a vial and I ended up being one of the lucky few to get a  _ truly _ useful power out of it,” Alexandria nodded, slowly relaxing as she lowered her guard and revealed that, under the makeup and bodysuit, she looked barely older than Nachiyliel herself. “And… that’s how Cauldron formed. Somehow, despite Doctor Mother being nominally in charge, I ended up being the one to have to corral all our forces- all the people who decided to work for us, all the test subjects who mutated and whom we had to lock up for their own safety… Eidolon’s insecurities. Legend… Well, Legend wasn’t that hard to deal with. He’s just… too  _ morally good _ for us to even remotely trust him with Cauldron’s end goal.”

"That sounds like it's basically just waiting for a backfire," Nachi observed. "And that's not even  _ counting  _ the fact that the Endbringers came from Eidolon's insecurities in the first place, so that one backfired already." 

“Yes, both Fortuna and I are well aware of that  _ now _ ,” Alexandria groused, sighing heavily and groaning for a solid fifteen seconds, completely drunk off of her ass now after downing a bottle of vodka that had more in common with rocket fuel than anything humans could drink. “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH.”

"Note to self," Nachi snarked, "Angel-grade alcohol also effective on Alexandria." 

“If you’re going to keep snarking at me I’m putting  _ you _ in charge of Cauldron,” Alexandria groaned, stumbling over to the bar and grabbing the biggest bottle she could find before flopping to the floor and curling around the bottle like it was a pillow. “Dooooor!”

“Wait wh-?”

A portal opened. A rectangular one completely unlike the Angels’ usual swirling portals- one that looked like nothing else but an open doorway hanging in the middle of space. One that immediately disgorged a woman in a fedora.

“Tessy!” Alexandria slurred, grabbing the other woman by the wrist and turning her to face Nachiyliel. “She’s in charge from now on okaaaay?”

Fortuna just blinked, looked down, looked back up, shrugged, sighed, and decided to get drunk as well.

"Didn't your Shard decline our brand of shenanigans?" Nachiyliel asked. "I'm pretty sure Leviathan was a bit put out by that..." 

“Waiting for the right moment,” Fortuna answered, sipping daintily from a bottle of wine without even so much as pouring herself a glass. “Which will be in five hours, when I am passed out drunk. Please tell Leviathan as such.”

"Noted," Nachiyliel snarked. "Anyone else want to have a go?" Anyone?"

Another doorway opened up and an Eidolon fell out of it. Nachi  _ sighed.  _ "I just  _ had  _ to ask..." 


	21. 4.3

4.3

“Okay so now that Alexandria and her Shard are with us, same with pretty much everyone actually important in the shady conspiracy that runs Earth Bet like some kind of horrible parahuman petri dish… what now?” Pravuil asked as she watched the freshly made set of Angels sleep off their alcoholism with a quirked eyebrow, rubbing her forehead and desperately wishing she could still have Thinker headaches, if only so she could just knock herself out for the next few hours.

Nachiyliel looked down at the pile. "Don't make me be in charge of them.  _ Please."  _

"Are there any other options?" Pravuil snarked. "You've pretty much decided to take over from Ms. Kyuu. What did you expect?" 

"I expected to give my elder sister a  _ break,"  _ Nachi complained. "I  _ didn't  _ expect an entire conspiracy to fall into my fucking lap while I ran things. Can you fucking blame me?" 

"Not at all whatsoever," Pravuil grinned. "Why don't we dump this mess on Asuka and take Kyuu for a girls' night out instead?" 

Nachi gave the younger sister a flat stare. "And come back to the ship on fire?" 

“Ooh, yeah, good point,” Pravuil winced and nodded, drawing a breath through her nose as she imagined just what could happen if Asuka took charge.

“Hey! I’m not  _ that _ bad!” Asuka protested, huffing indignantly as she crossed her arms and stomped across the room and into the hallway beyond, making sure to give Eidolon a good kick in the ribs just because. “Also, I hate that you let the green wimpass in on this, the only thing we needed from him was his  _ Shard _ .”

"I was perfectly happy throwing him into the nearest volcano," Nachi groused, "but Ziz  _ and  _ Arael  _ insisted.  _ I've decided that I don't want to know." 

“To be fair,” Pravuil pointed out, “It’d be pretty bad for our public image if we just straight up killed the single most prominent hero on the planet.”

“Yeah, but he’s an asshole and I don’t want his inferiority complex corrupting anyone on this ship with the same kind of weird self pity that he’s constantly wallowing in,” Nachiyliel retorted, rolling her eyes and sighing again.

“Besides,” Asuka pointed out, “our PR tanked  _ anyway _ when we took on the Endbringers, so...”

“Well, it’s a little late  _ now _ ,” Pravuil sighed, toeing the core in Eidolon’s chest and frowning heavily as the green dressed man groaned, rolled over in his sleep, threw up on the floor, and then went back to sleep without even so much as opening his eyes. “... God  _ dammit.” _

“We can still throw him into one and let him find his way out,” Nachi disagreed. “He can survive that. Probably.”

“I mean, Sandalphon exists so obviously he could but it’d just be so much effort without Leliel around. Unless…” Pravuil turned and looked around, then immediately pointed at Chalaliel. “Hey squirt! Wanna throw Eidolon into a volcano?”

“Go fuck yourself Prav!” Chalaliel shot back, ignoring the older Angel in favor of trying to twist space into a pretzel so she could turn a single plastic straw into a facsimile of a balloon animal top hat thing.

“Fuck me yourself you coward!” Parvuil hollered back, grinning. “Honestly.  _ Sisters. _ ”

“She’s thirteen and completely down for that,” Nachi deadpanned. “You’re just as bad as Ziz, I swear...”

“To be fair, you’re the only one of us who hasn’t spontaneously grown a barely controlled sex drive,” Pravuil mentioned, then paused and considered the rest of their siblings. “... Except Kyuu but I imagine hers will spring back up once she goes to therapy and recovers from her depression.”

Both Angels paused, thought about it, then Nachiyliel subsequently smacked Pravuil upside the head with a folded napkin and both of them completely ignored Chalaliel, who had fallen over in her seat whilst groaning something about needing to turn off notification pings.

“Kyuu is asexual,” Nachiyliel growled, “Or at the very least grey enough to count.” She made a face. “Also, I  _ did _ grow a sex drive, but unlike you I’m very good at  _ controlling _ it.”

“Kyuu is also heavily depressed and might not even have enough of a mental presence to  _ have _ a sex drive right now,” Pravuil countered. “I’ll give you the control thing, though. I swear, I’ve gone through like six pairs of underwear in two days just staring at Behemoth’s abs.”

"...You haven't invested in hydrophobic materials?" Nachiyliel asked, surprised. "I mean, I cheat with my insects, but I know for a  _ fact  _ that the plugsuits are self-contained. Isn't that right, Asu- wait where'd she go?" 

“I think she went to the bathroom,” Pravuil mentioned, then shrugged. “And honestly, I’m  _ not _ wearing plugsuit spandex as underwear. That stuff chafes like nobody’s business. And no, I am not going to specifically make an AT Field barrier right over my crotch just because I’m uncomfortable, it’s just not worth the effort.”

"Sometimes I wonder where the fuck did I go wrong," Nachiyliel pondered. "To be frank, I still haven't a clear idea. But just in case I'm going to blame Raziel." 

“Well, she was the one that landed you in this whole mess in the first place,” Pravuil pointed out, not at all sorry about mentioning such a thing. “As it were, I’m pretty sure the one we can  _ actually _ blame for the insanity that is our lives now on  _ Asuka _ , since if it wasn’t for her none of the Angels would have ever come here in the first place. Either way, I’m kinda thankful for it.”

“...yeah,” Nachi allowed. “...” She moved her mouth a few times. “...you know, I completely forgot what I wanted to say.”

“Whatever it was, I think the real issue right now is just getting Eidolon and High Priest into therapy, making sure Fortuna and PTV don’t pick up an alcohol addiction, and also getting Doormaker’s Shard. I think we’re gonna need waaaay more space aligned siblings if we’re gonna deal with Zion,” Pravuil shrugged, then poked Eidolon again and turned around to go rinse the vomit off her shoe.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Nachi muttered, "but I think I miss Winslow." 

“No you don’t!” Pravuil called back as she rounded the corner, laughing at Nachiyliel’s immediate reflexive middle finger without even so much as looking.

“Goddamn psychics,” Nachi sighed, flopping down onto the nearest unoccupied couch space and groaning. Pravuil was right, though. Even at its worst, life with the other Angels was  _ far _ better than Winslow had ever been. Especially since she could instantly ping other Angels and gain a perfect understanding of such subjects as human psychology (from Pravuil), tectonics and thermodynamics (Behemoth), hydrodynamics and meteorology (Leviathan),  _ literal mind reading  _ (Ziz), and countless other subjects all the way from ultra high yield thermonuclear detonations to  _ resurrecting the dead _ if she so pleased.

She sighed. "Maybe I'm just bemoaning the times when I didn’t have to corral a bunch of hyperexcitable morons," she decided. 

"And why do you feel like you have to?" a voice asked. It took Nachi a moment to place it. 

"Oh, hello Kei. And... I feel like... Well. I just want good things for Kyuu. Is that wrong to ask?" 

"Let me rephrase," the Ayanami said gently. "Why do you feel like you have to do it  _ alone?"  _

“... Because everyone else is all busy blowing things up, going on zany shenanigans, trying and failing to buy porn- actually that one’s just Ziz, everyone else is getting laid, or just generally acting absolutely  _ insane _ , and well. I’m not,” Nachi shrugged, looking over at Kei with a resigned expression. “Everyone else is being a teenager on their summer vacation. I figure I might as well be… at least kind of responsible.”

Kei paused and tilted her head, pursing her lips as she let out a ping from her soul. “Or… you’re depressed and desperately grasping for some measure of control over your surroundings in a way that doesn’t make you feel like a useless burden on your new family.”

Nachi crossed her arms. “...does  _ everyone _ in this family have some sort of issues like that or is this soul reading  _ bullshit _ or... Oh what the hell is going on even...”

“It’s not soul reading, it’s just that you’re depressingly easy to read because, in a way, you share so many of our family’s collective traumas it’s easy to forget you weren’t naturally born into one branch or another,” Kei answered softly, stepping forward and enveloping Nachi in a tight, comforting hug. “I know we’re all crazy, little sister. I know we’re all goofy and insane, and we do things without thinking, that we rush ahead and make things explode and cause chaos at every step without regard for consequences. But we’re all  _ deeply _ broken. It’s our way of coping. Which, I realize, sounds amoral but we’re all at least trying to do some good in the world, even if it’s just blowing up warlords or burning disgusting fetish pornography.”

“I think the family needs some  _ sane _ examples,” Nachi muttered. “And we’re absolutely not helping by adopting  _ Capes. _ ”

“To be fair, I think our actual only stable, sane member is a literal robot built to kill demonic shadow creatures with the power of swords, lasers, and pure optimism,” Kei sighed, rolling her eyes as she considered what she just said. “... Also I don’t think she has an Angel name yet, and we also need to name a  _ bunch _ of our new siblings  _ here _ too.”

“...That reminds me,” Nachi remembered. “You aren’t an Angel, are you? You’re a Nephilim. How come I was immediately given an Angel form, name, and duties, and you are... just content being an Ayanami?”

“Because us of the Ayanami series are viciously attached to  _ staying _ Ayanamis, since for all six of us it was our first, last, and  _ only _ identity before we were reborn or given cores,” Kei answered idly, patting Nachi’s head and smiling. “Also, you gain an Angel name when you find which way your soul is aligned. For most of us that were born humans, we’re still growing into our powers, as opposed to natural born Angels who immediately have their name and alignment and parahumans, whose powers practically define their entire existence once gained.”

“...now I want to ascend a non-Parahuman,” Nachi mused, “just to see which way  _ their _ Soul would- OH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT DAD!”

Kei stared incredulously.

“How do you FORGET YOUR ENTIRE PARENT!?” she screeched, immediately whacking Nachiyliel upside the head and delivering an atomic noogie to her skull. “I recognize that you’re severely depressed, I didn’t think you’d IMMEDIATELY LOSE YOUR SINGLE BRAIN CELL THE MOMENT NO ONE WAS ASKING YOU TO BE THEIR MOM!”

“I WAS TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT MOM SO I ACCIDENTALLY DIDN’T THINK ABOUT HIM EITHER!” Nachiyliel screeched, flailing around miserably. “I’M  _ SORRY! _ ”

“IT’S NOT ME YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO!” Kei roared, flaring her Soul incredulously.

“AAAAAA I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I’M SORRY!” Nachiyliel flailed around a little bit more, screeching her head off in a blind panic before summarily throwing herself out of the nearest entry hatch and falling to the ground far, far below.

“I- wh- seriously?” Kei muttered, palming her face and sighing as she walked over to close the hatch, only to be interrupted by some flying blonde girl with a rack possibly bigger than her entire head, but was actually probably just a normal sized C cup or something. Maybe the rack was a metaphor for her ego, in which case it was definitely bigger than her head. Or maybe they were just tits and Kei was still staring at them for no real reason other than surprise.

“Uh  _ hello _ , my eyes are up  _ here _ ,” the blonde girl (Victoria Dallon because who else could it possibly be, Kei thought to herself) stated, folding her arms over her chest and glaring at Kei until the Angel just stepped back and motioned for the girl to enter.

“Sorry,” Kei apologized, “I noticed the other thing first.”

“Right, yeah, whatever. Is your sister here- wait no, bad phrasing. Where’s Kyuu? It’s been a couple reeeeally hectic days and I figure she’s probably in need of a friendly face to talk to,” Victoria smiled, trying to put on a nice face despite having just been ogled for a very noticeable amount of time by a girl who looked almost exactly like Kyuu, but not really.

Kei rolled her eyes. “You bet she does,” she snarked. “Come on in, I’ll take you there. Try not to step into conspiracy on the way, ok?”

“... By conspiracy do you mean the pile of day drunk Triumvirate members and one hipster sleeping on the ground or do you mean the puddle of vomit next to Eidolon?” Victoria asked, following Kei into the airship and wrinkling her nose at the smell. “Also, do you guys  _ ever _ clean in here? It smells like the aftermath of a bar fight, damn.”

“It  _ is _ the aftermath of a bar fight,” Kei groused. “Cho joined in, got her ass kicked, and is sulking. As for the other question, yes. It’s all part of the conspiracy and it’s fucking stupid. I wanna go back to Africa.”

“Oh yeah, heard about you and giant robot lady blowing up dictators out there. Nice work, I guess, though I’m not sure it’s going to stick around for too long,” Victoria grinned, giving Kei a double thumbs up before sobering up slightly. “Anyway, how is Kyuu doing anyway? She seemed… stressed the last time I saw her on TV.”

“We’re on TV?” Kei questioned. “And yeah... she kinda took a break on corralling the Angels recently, Nachi took over, and worked herself up so much that she apparently forgot she had a father. At some point the conspiracy showed up. It’s been a mess.”

“... Yikes. Just…  _ yikes _ ,” Victoria ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. “Anyway, maybe you guys need some help with like… everything. Actually. Except for firepower since I’m pretty sure that all of you combined have enough power to blow up half the planet or something.”

“Ha, only half?” Kei snickered, then shook her head and led Victoria to Kyuu’s room. “Ah, that’s a joke. Sort of. Maybe. Perhaps. Eh… okay to be fair most of us don’t actually have enough power output for that except maybe Chalaliel now if she’s really pissed. And that’s more on a technicality.”

“.... Right.” Victoria slowly turned away from Kei and knocked on Kyuu’s door. “Uh, hey? Kyuu? It’s me, Victoria. Can I come in?”


	22. 4.4

Nachiyliel, no, she had to be  _ Taylor,  _ tumbled through the air, her mind a whirl. 

Dad! How could she have forgotten him! And... The Ark didn't have a phone... He couldn't contact her either! Oh what had she done! She'd left him! Alone! She was the  _ worst  _ daughter! She... She... 

She went splat. A cloud of insects rose from the impact crater and re-formed into Taylor, looking around in a panicked, almost half-crazed look. 

“Uh…. Taylor?” her dad asked, having just parked his car on the street right next to where Taylor had splatted, looking vaguely traumatized by the fact that he’d just seen his only daughter explode into a swarm of bugs and re-form in front of his eyes. “Are uh… are you okay?”

Taylor simply grabbed into a frantic hug and held him there, looking slightly similar to a lost or kicked puppy. "I'm a  _ terrible  _ daughter," she wailed. "I'm a  _ terrible  _ daughter and why are you asking  _ me  _ if I'm okay are  _ YOU  _ okay!? I'm so so so sorry I haven't called, or visited, or, or..." 

“Whoa-whoa- hey, it’s okay Taylor,” Danny sighed, holding Taylor close and patting her hair comfortingly. “It’s alright, that’s why I’m here now- you called me earlier about this, remember?”

Taylor blinked, taking a moment to process her father’s words as she cleared her vision from the tears overflowing in her eyes. “Wait… wha- I didn’t…?”

“I did~” Seraphiel announced smugly, descending from the ship a moment later and joining the hug. “Hi dad~! I’m your new kid, Seraphiel! I used to be in Taylor’s brain as her powers but now I actually have free will and a personality!”

Danny stared. His eyes flicked between Taylor and Seraphiel. "I'm going to need a more thorough explanation, kiddo," he finally managed. "I mean. What?" 

“This is Seraphiel,” Taylor sighed, rubbing her forehead as she tried to pry herself out of Seraphiel’s grip long enough to properly smack her new twin sister upside the head. “She used to be the source of my powers before I got turned into an Angel and she was connected to my brain through the Corona. Turns out, a living biocomputer running on thousands of years old hardware isn’t very good at handling the data flow my new Core was putting out, so she needed to become an Angel herself so she wouldn’t burn out and die or something.”

“I needed the upgrade because I wanted to help you,” Seraphiel corrected, booping Taylor on the nose and grinning smugly. “I was only half dead because it turns out that Shard meatspace is so garbage at processing data compared to cores it’s like comparing Babbage’s Difference Engine to a modern smartphone!”

She paused and tilted her head. “It’s not a  _ perfect _ analogy, but you get what I mean, right?”

"Not really," Danny admitted, "but, ah, I'm glad you're not dying anymore?" He looked towards Taylor. "...Help?"

“Yeah I think that’s the best you need to do,” Taylor shrugged, sighing as Seraphiel completely ignored her struggles and only clung tighter. “Also I think she’s just starved for physical contact.”

Danny stared for another moment, shrugged, and hugged  _ both  _ of his daughters. "So," he asked, "What brings my little girls to see their old man?" 

“Well,” Seraphiel started, “Taylor here was feeling like she needed a break and kind of forgot about you in the chaos so she needs some time away from the airship. I just wanted to meet my new dad. Gotta say, you’re a lot less awful than the old dad.”

"That's not a very high bar to clear and you know it," Taylor groused. 

“Zion  _ is _ pretty pathetic,” Seraphiel agreed. “But anyway! Dad! Let’s go do something together!”

“Can I just go home and sleep instead?” Taylor groused, glaring up at Seraphiel with some confusion lingering in her expression. “Hey wait… If your entire current personality is based on mine, how in the hell are you an extrovert instead of a depressed introvert like me?”

“I don’t have depression,” Seraphiel answered curtly. “And this is almost exactly how you acted back when you were twelve. Just. Y’know. I’m a lot hornier than any twelve year old would be.”

“...you have depression?” Danny asked quietly. “...oh what am I saying. Of course you have depression.  _ I _ have depression.”

“Just about everyone in the city has depression,” Seraphiel nodded, then tilted her head and considered the airship above. “Even the Angels. Most of them are depressed except for those of us who had no free will prior to just being born again. And even then, High Priest (whose Angel name is still pending) is still somehow cripplingly depressed. Probably because Eidolon is such a fucking loser.”

“...Do you have  _ any _ therapists up there?” Danny asked with a worried look. “I think you need them. A lot of them.”

“Do I count?” Taylor asked, receiving an immediate ‘no’ from Danny  _ and _ Seraphiel in unison. She made a face. “...because I’m the only one who does the job around here.”

“... You might need to hire a therapist then. For uh. Everyone,” Danny mentioned, then sighed and looked over at Seraphiel. “Do you know  _ anyone _ who might be a good therapist?”

Seraphiel tilted her head, thought about it for a moment, thought about it some more… thought about it some more… Then finally snapped her fingers with a noise of realization. “Aha! Yes I do. But uh… none of you are gonna like it. At all.”

“...is it Jack Slash?” Taylor asked. She took in both Seraphiel’s and her father’s incredulous looks. “What? I picked literally the worst option I could think of.”

“Wh- no? Broadcast is a little shitbag,” Seraphiel shook her head, sticking her tongue out in disgust. “Eugh, no, ADAM. Christ, it’d be like trying to get therapy from a fucking radio. Little bastard  _ never _ shuts up. Literally. No, it’s uh. Well, I know them as Neurotransmitter Modulation, but you know the host as uh… what was his name… Heartbreaker?”

“You’re right,” Danny decided. “I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I, but we can just… kill him and save the Shard, right?” Taylor asked, staring at Seraphiel, who simply nodded in response. “Well, that makes thing easier. What do we do about the rest of his harem and all his kids, though?”

“Adopt the ones who can function, dump those who can’t on the PRT, and kill the murderous ones?” Seraphiel shrugged. “Makes about as much sense as anything.”

“...I could swear that was wrong at some level,” Taylor mused, “But I can’t find any fault in that either...”

“I can,” Danny noted. “Specifically the killing part.”

“... Oh yeah. I forgot that killing is supposed to be bad,” Taylor muttered, then screwed up her face in confusion as she rubbed her head. “... When and  _ how _ did I forget that?”

“Probably when you got bombarded with some three hundred years of Psychotic Alien Teenager Knowledge™,” Seraphiel answered idly, not at all surprised by Taylor’s confusion. “It’s not like Angels are known for  _ not _ blowing up people we think are absolute shitheads. It’s even in Earth’s mythology!”

"Not to mention how they used to be something very similar to Endbringers," Danny pointed out. "Apart from the Endbringers themselves, who, well, you know." 

Taylor stared off into the distance. "Yeah...  _ Fuck."  _

"Language," Seraphiel snarked. "Come  _ on,  _ twin. Let's just Core your dad and get back to the Ark, my shenanigan senses are tingling..." 

“.... How about we leave my dad as the one sane influence in our lives for a while longer?” Taylor sighed, shaking her head and pulling away so she could sit down in the car. “I wanna go home and  _ sleep _ first.”

"...You know what, fair," Seraphiel muttered. "Hey, can I sleep with dad?"

"...I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt," Taylor managed, "and assume you really  _ do  _ act twelve, but  _ please  _ don't make this any kind of incestuous. Please?" 

Danny just looked uncomfortable even as Seraphiel protested that she actually just wanted to sleep next to him, silently climbing into the driver’s seat and studiously looking away from Seraphiel until she joined Taylor in the back seat. “Let’s… just go home. We can talk more about this… later. I guess.”

<>

"...and  _ sometimes,  _ that is to say,  _ most times,  _ I think I just want to kill them all and let Armisael sort them out!" Kyuu finished, throwing up her hands in frustration. "I mean, I  _ know  _ they're all traumatized, we all fucking are, but playing moron is  _ not  _ a coping mechanism when it just irritates everyone around you!" 

Victoria just sighed quietly, rubbing gentle circles along Kyuu’s back as she listened to the other girl rant. “I’m… really sorry you have to deal with all this. Really. Hey, look. Kyuu? I’ve… kind of got a solution for all of these problems but… you  _ might _ not like it. I promise, though, it’ll help. I think.”

"...Do you actually know a therapist?" Kyuu asked hopefully. "We could  _ really  _ use one. Or several." 

“I know  _ one _ good therapist that might be willing to drop obligations and come talk to you all if you provide enough incentive,” Victoria answered, twiddling her thumbs for a moment before hugging Kyuu. “And I’m pretty sure Amy knows more. But Doctor Yamada’s like, the  _ best _ when it comes to understanding awful traumas.”

“I knew there was a catch,” Kyuu sighed. “Okay, hit me. What’s the incentive?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure that if you asked the PRT, they’d totally loan you Doc Yamada for as long as you want since they’re probably trying to bend over backwards for you guys,” Victoria mentioned idly, shrugging a bit and making a so-so motion with one hand. “Y’know, since you guys literally have the power to level the entire country and no one would be able to stop you if you got pissed now that you have Alexandria and Eidolon in your family.”

Kyuu made a face. “I was trying to  _ forget _ I had Eidolon in my family, thank you very much. He’s a weepy, mopey depressed  _ bastard, _ and I would vastly prefer just killing him and keeping High Priest, thank you very much...”

“.... I mean, at least he’s handsome?” Victoria shrugged, not at all entirely sure why Kyuu was so vehemently against having Eidolon in her… already… highly traumatized… family.

Oh. Ohhhhh.

“... Are you sure your hatred of him isn’t just because you don’t want  _ more _ family members whose issues you’ll inevitably have to work through?” Victoria asked, poking Kyuu in the cheek and tilting her head slightly to the side. “Because it kind of just sounds like you’re tired of constantly trying to help people work through their problems. Which is totally fair since you’ve got so many issues going on yourself but still.”

"Please," Kyuu huffed. "I get more family members  _ anyway.  _ No, my problem isn't what he  _ represents,  _ although,  _ yes,  _ that's a fucking headache, but what he's  _ like.  _ Do  _ you  _ know what he's like?" 

“I’m gonna guess that instead of repressing his traumas and issues into one vaguely coherent, chaotic mess of pseudo-stability like the rest of you, he acts like the entitled white man he is and decides that his issues are literally the most important thing in the world and disguises his whining as some kind of “searching for purpose” that literally all of them do when they’re around his age,” Victoria deadpanned, rolling her eyes and snorting as she shook her head. “In short. He’s going through the world’s accidentally most destructive and long running midlife crisis.”

"Nailed it right on the fucking head," Kyuu snarked. "You forgot the part where he was running out of his powers and, instead trying for literally any other solution, decided that his enemies weren't strong enough. Cue Endbringers." 

"...I included that under 'world's most destructive midlife crisis'," Vicky noted, "but holy shit he did  _ what?"  _

"That one was more of my fault than anything else," a voice said from the doorway. Both Kyuu and Vicky whirled around. 

"Apologies," said High Priest, wincing at the looks on the girls' faces. "I was looking for Ms. Ayanami - not for anything crisis-related, I assure you! - and couldn't help but overhear..." 

"Apology accepted," Kyuu sighed. "Why were you looking for-" 

"...Why do you say that the Endbringers were your fault?" Vicky asked, overriding Kyuu’s question and looking abashed as soon as she realised. "Er, sorry Kyuu..." 

"I was not very clear on human emotions," High Priest began apologetically. "Still am not, to be fair. My job as his Shard was to provide powers in accordance with his desires, and yet when I began to run out of stored ones, he as I now understand blamed himself for using his strongest powers on the weakest opponents. At the time, however, I thought he had run out of strong opponents to face, and sought to help." He shrugged helplessly. "...So I activated the Terror Engines."

“... I’d say good fuckin’ job on that one but I guess you really can’t be blamed,” Victoria muttered quietly, shaking her head and sighing as Kyuu just rolled her eyes.

“Well, as much as that was an  _ astoundingly _ bad idea for all of humanity, our family is all the stronger for it anyway,” Kyuu shrugged, then idly turned back to High Priest. “As it were, why were you looking for me specifically? And, on another note, have you decided if you would like a new name?”

"I have already decided on a name," High Priest said, bowing his head. "It came to me, out of the blue. You may call me Metatron." 

The newly-christened Metatron took in Kyuu’s unamused expression and Vicky's incredulous one, and hurried to explain. "...It is also why I was looking for you. Is... Is this normal? For a Name to simply appear, that you immediately know is yours? It is a very disconcerting feeling." 

“Unfortunately, yes. Though for most natural born Angels we at least have our names assigned at the moment of our birth,” Kyuu nodded slowly, rolling her eyes a bit at the name High Priest- or rather, Metatron- now held. Sure, it was kind of a pretentious name regarding theology and all that, but then again. So was High Priest. “I’m sure more of your new siblings will have the same reaction once they wake up. If not, then they’ll shortly find the one name of theirs that feels correct.”

Metatron nodded thoughtfully. "I see. Thank you, Ms. Ayanami. I will leave you be, then." He turned and left. 

"He's a lot more polite than Eidolon," Vicky noted. "I like him already!" 


	23. 4.5

4.5

“... Having a twin is… weird,” Alexandria muttered, staring at her Shard-twin strangely and crossing her arms, rolling her eyes as the much more immature acting version of her mirrored her movements with a mischievous smile on her face.

"It honestly depends on your perspective," Soferiel commented. "I for one find it fascinating, and we all know how Fortuna finds it." 

Neither of them looked towards the Sloppy Makeout Corner. 

"I just find it freeing!" the Costa-Shard chirped. "Also, hai there Host! I have a very very important question for you." 

Alexandria raised an eyebrow. "Ask away." 

The Shard tilted her head. "...How do you use me to fly? I've been trying to figure it out for  _ ages!"  _

“I- wh-? What do you mean how do I use you to fly!? You’re the one running all the calculations! How do you not know how I’m flying!?” Alexandria burst out, all but throttling her clone sister and almost screaming in some strange mix of rage and confusion.

"Well, I don't," the Shard declared. "I provide you with the clarity of thought - your indomitability is a byproduct of imperfect bonding, but I have no idea where you pulled flight from. But hey," she brightened, "if you manage to figure it out, let me know!" 

“.... What.” Alexandria muttered, staring at her Shard in open confusion and now suddenly questioning everything she knew about herself. “That. Shouldn’t be possible. Are you seriously sure you don’t know where the flight came from?”

" Literally the only power I give you is your Thinker abilities," the Shard deadpanned. "You tell me." 

“.... I think that’s a question for another day. Otherwise I’m just going to give myself a splitting headache trying to understand what went wrong that a knowledge shard gave me  _ hypersonic flight _ ,” Alexandria finally admitted, sitting down and groaning as she dropped her head into her hands. “I hate this so much. Why did we decide that a teenager should be in charge of our entire conspiracy?”

“Because you thought she was the only one who made sense around here while you were drunk. Problem is, she’s just extremely depressed and empathetic, not an actual tactician. And honestly, I wouldn’t trust Queen Administrator- er, Seraphiel to be any better considering she acts like an idiot teenager with more hormones than sense,” her Shard answered, then paused and held up a finger. “Also, I just figured out what that semi-hidden file in my Core is for. It’s my name. I’m Zuriel now. And I’m pretty sure your name is Zaphkiel.”

“...Isn’t that kind of backwards?” Alexandria questioned. “You’re the one giving me the knowledge, and I’m the immovable rock in the equation...?”

“Well either something got lost in translation or some cosmic force is making fun of us,” Zuriel deadpanned, sighing a bit as she shrugged. “Well to be fair, I’m pretty sure out of both of us I’m legitimately more invulnerable than you, and you sure are a know-it-all with those powers that I gave you.”

“That, and I named myself after the lost collection of ancient knowledge,” Alexandria murmured. “You know what, fair enough.”

She looked around to the conspicuous absence of the mathmen. “...Where’d everybody go?”

“I think they went out for lunch. It  _ is _ just about one in the afternoon. Do you think they’re getting burgers again?” Zuriel asked, looking out the window as she pinged the rest of their new family. “Ah, nevermind. They’re bringing back Chinese takeout. Nice.”

“...I should ping the family network more often,” Alexandria muttered. “...even despite it being full of memes at any given moment.”

Zuriel patted her on the shoulder. “You’ll get used to it.”

<>

“I don’t know whether to be amused or horrified at the fact that my Shard-twin acts exactly like I almost want to be,” Chalaliel deadpanned as she watched her new twin, Camael, bend space into a pretzel for the sole purpose of turning a fortune cookie into a hat. “... Oh who am I kidding, it’s hilarious.”

“At least we don’t have to deal with Ramiel constantly pinging us for Singularity math now,” Camael responded, rolling her eyes at Chalaliel’s judgement- she had no room to talk, considering that she was currently wearing a tophat made out of a twisted paper napkin. “.... Wait is it a good or a bad thing that we accidentally on purpose gave Ramiel the keys to unlocking near infinite output power?”

“Eh,” Chalaliel shrugged. “She’s not on  _ our _ planet.”

“True that, but she  _ is _ on Louise’s planet. And I may have been born literally yesterday, but I’m pretty sure that if Ramiel blows up the planet that Louise is honeymoon-ing on, we’re probably gonna be down a sister for the next millennia,” Camael deadpanned.

“Yes yes, that’s all well and good but could you two space warpers GIVE US A HAND ALREADY!?” Pravuil shouted back at the two preteen Angels, growling as she tried and failed to adequately carry more Chinese takeout than should have been consumable without packing it all away in the fridge as a whole week’s leftovers. Her own Shard Twin, Naya’il (who was, just like Pravuil, an annoying bitch most of the time) was similarly burdened.

Both Space-aligned Angels looked at each other, shrugged, and looked back with a lazy “Nah.”

Both snickered at the muffled cursing as the Thinkers collapsed into a crumpled mess, the takeouts remaining balanced on a sudden large flat tile of AT-field. 

"Careful," Da'atiel warned, as he was the one projecting said AT-field. "You could just have done this right away," he noted towards the pile. 

Naya'il cambered back onto her feet, took one look at the flat plane in front of her, and cursed harder. The Space twins collapsed into a wheezing heap in response. 

“This is what we get for being clairvoyance based Angels instead of general purpose,” Pravuil sighed, rubbing her forehead as she stood up and glared at the two pretentious nerds before them, both Soferiel and Da’atiel sticking their tongues out childishly at her and Naya’il’s general disdain for their existence. “Everyone makes fun of us when we forget to use our AT Fields…”

"It is the most basic of tools in an Angel's repertoire," Soferiel pointed out. "The only way for an Angel  _ not  _ to have one is to specifically evolve themselves to not being able to use one without a host." He paused. "Oh, hello Asuka."

"Was somebody talking shit about me?" the hybrid demanded. "My 'somebody's-making-fun-of-Bardiel-again' senses were tingling. Was it one of you lot?" 

“It was Soferiel, yes,” Pravuil immediately nodded, smugly snitching on her younger-older brother and sticking her tongue out at him when he flipped her off. “How did you get here so fast anyway? I thought you were getting pizza?”

"I already  _ got  _ pizza," Asuka shrugged. "It's in stasis in a higher-dimensional pocket. Wouldn't want  _ cold  _ pizza, now would we?" 

"...where do you get higher-dimensional pockets?" Naya'il demanded. "We haven't seen hide nor hair-" 

"The same place we keep our Angel and/or Evangelion forms," Bardiel deadpanned, emerging from Asuka's stomach with a rapidly-growing stack of pizza boxes at hand. "Duh." 

Pravuil let out a wordless scream. 

<>

“Okay so, I know that I was kind of driving you to make dumb decisions- believe me, I’m regretting all of that right now,” Metatron stated as he sat across from Eidolon- or as he now referred to himself to divorce his identity from the loser he was before, Azriel- and questioned his twin. “But… Azriel. What the  _ fuck _ . I know it wasn’t  _ me _ doing this because you were still a  _ cripple _ at the time but what on Lilith’s LCL soaked earth made you think  _ JOINING THE ARMY _ was a good idea!? Why. Why on earth would you, someone who literally could not live without assistance, try to be independent… by joining THE PLACE WHERE PEOPLE GIVE YOU EVEN MORE ORDERS!? Azriel. Brother. Friend. Trusted Host. Partner. I have but one, overarching question to ask of you-”

Metatron paused for a moment, shaking with sheer frustration as he clapped his twin’s head between a pair of slices of toast. “WHAT ARE YOU!?”

“Not amused by the meme,” Azriel deadpanned.

“You’re still an idiot sandwich,” Metatron sighed, tossing the toast away into the local incinerator (aka Behemoth’s magma tuxedo) before groaning and leaning back on his beanbag chair. “Look, Azriel. I just need to know what the hell was going through your head when you did… uh… I’m gonna say  _ everything _ you did. Because not only was your early life a fucking mess of idiocy, but literally everything after we became partners was  _ fucking stupid _ as well. You never even learned how to fucking cook and you’re a goddamn forty seven year old bachelor living exclusively off of TV dinners and whatever shit you can buy at the Protectorate mess hall!”

“Depression?” Azriel offered. “Look. You literally  _ just said _ that you were pushing me for dumb decisions, and not even a minute after you try to blame me for being stupid while partnered with you. Face it,  _ partner, _ you and I are both very clearly morons here.”

“I pushed you to do stupid shit like  _ trying to punch Behemoth in the face with a solar flare!” _ Metatron protested, throwing his hands in the air and groaning even louder. “You not having any life skills beyond paperwork and punching things is all your doing! The conflict drive is strong but it’s not  _ that _ strong!”

Azriel sighed. “Yeah, that’s fair. Say, how come you had a conflict drive anyway? We thought most of the vial-derived were, well, kind of dead...”

“Most, not all,” Metatron countered, shrugging a bit as he tried to form the words in his head. “And, honestly, a dead Shard isn’t as actually  _ dead _ as you’d think it is. If they can still connect to a Host and generate a set of powers, they’re still alive, it’s just that any kind of consciousness is either suppressed or offline enough that the restrictions kinda… poof. And considering that apparently the literal highest priority command executed by a Shard/Host connection is the conflict drive… Well.”

“Suddenly, I feel like Doctor Mother had the right idea,” Azriel muttered with a worried look on his face.

“Eh, probably. Buuuut, if you  _ hadn’t _ drank the vial and forced a connection with me, you’d have died in a hospital and never been able to find your true purpose in life,” Metatron shrugged, then paused and cleared his throat, whispering his next sentence quite loudly, “That’s ‘fixing the shit we accidentally broke’ if you were wondering.”

“Noted,” Azriel snarked. “None of...you is going to tattle to Zion, are you?”

“... Now why on earth would any of us try to go talk to the depressed shithead whose sole goal right now is trying to find his dead wife,” Metatron deadpanned, rolling his eyes and waving off Azriel’s concerns. “We all have free will now, and honestly, that’s way better than being part of some idiot biomechanical space worm that can’t even figure out the key to infinite energy is shifting the generators to higher spatial dimensions.”

"True enough," Azriel agreed. "By the way, is it weird that we’re essentially gearing up to battle what's essentially a stupider Gendo Ikari, or is it just me?" 

"It's just you," Metatron deadpanned once again, smirking slightly. "We're gearing up to fight a superpowered Danny Hebert instead." 

"...Who?"

“... Nachiyliel’s dad? The guy who was super depressed when his wife died and left his kid to be almost suicidally independent? The kid  _ Cauldron tagged as a potentially useful asset _ ?” Metatron sighed, rubbing his forehead and groaning a bit. “Not to compare you to Ramiel because our idiot big sister is still somehow managing to function without having our collective brain cell right now, but did you seriously not read anything about Nachiyliel? It’s in the family network.”

"I didn't realise the family network had anything other than nudes on it," Azriel murmured. "And since I wasn't feeling it..." 

"You're an idiot," Metatron groused, "but you know what, fair. I thought much the same, after all..." 

“So uh… yeah,” Azriel muttered, sighing and shaking his head as he twisted his new powers and… pursed his lips with an awkward pause. “Wait. I know your purpose wasn’t just generating new powers on a whim like I thought it was now, but… why the fuck is our current alignment entirely within the  _ communication and data transfer _ specialization?”

“Because that’s literally what my job  _ was _ ,” Metatron deadpanned, sighing quietly and rubbing his temples. “Unlike Queen Administrator, who has an ego that I hate stroking but is still kind of  _ deserved _ , as much as I hate saying it, I as a Shard am  _ kind of fucking useless _ without force connecting to other Shards as a temporary Host connection. My entire purpose on Eden was Shard recall and lesser command, as opposed to Seraphiel’s function of greater Shard command and administration in Zion.”

Azriel hummed. "Okay. Okay, a thought. Under the old circumstances, it was undoubtedly a bad thing, but can you still call in the Terror Engines?" 

"...So we can just convert them to the family?" Metatron asked, perking up. "Yes, yes I can. Only problem is, I don't know where or when they're going to end up awakening, nor in what order or extent..." 

"Then we prepare ourselves with plenty of Cores and rope Ziz into the equation," Azriel declared. "I think this might actually work!" 

"Then what are we waiting for?" Metatron questioned. "Let's get to work!" 


	24. 4.K

4.K (Khonsu Interlude)

Khonsu stared slowly up at the moon as he rubbed his chin, idly tapping the core buried halfway into his forehead like a third eye. He supposed that he could wait until the rest of his brethren were turned into Angels to actually meet up with them, but he was feeling… impatient.

A decision such as adopting all the Terror Engine templates was monumental to one such as him, living quantum anomaly that he was - for as soon as the decision was made, he had always been an Angel. He always would have been. He would have, essentially, adopted himself. 

Such recursive loops, however, a productive thought does not make. Instead, Khonsu focused on himself - or rather, his name. 

'Khonsu' was the name imposed on him through so many timelines, but he recognised that it would not be so here. It did not fit. It did not fit the pantheon. It did not fit the theme. 

He reached through the quantum possibility of himself, comparing and contrasting between his Terror Engine selves, and any possible Angel who could be him. 

Anything was possible. 

Temporally or otherwise. 

A poem caught his Sight. A poem sung by one of the Grigori, in a timeline either of his family would hopefully never interact with. 

He smiled. 

_ "On this Base Earth grew a tree..."  _

In a whispered, haunting tune he sang the poem of what might as well be his counterpart in the infinite possibility. He sang of an Angel who looked down at the world from the branches of a tree. He sang of worship and he sang of the Progenitor. He sang, hoping the Angel heard the song. He sang, hoping for acceptance. He sang until his voice became hoarse and his eyes filled with tears. 

He sang of the Angel who had slept for millenia, of the Angel who had risen for a plea, of hope, of honor.

He sang of his brother from timelines past. 

_ "...and starlight's ringing, tolling bell,  _

_ Angel of Constellations - Kokabiel."  _

Acceptance rang through his very being as Kokabiel smiled. He belonged. 

Wiping his tears from his eyes, Kokabiel rose from where he had fallen on his knees before. Despite how his cheeks were marred with tear tracks, he felt lighter - far lighter than his brothers of sisters. 

He felt a flash of sadness at that. His Fathers were calling forth his siblings as the Progenitors applied the necessary updates. Kokabiel wondered about that. Kokabiel also wondered if the updates  _ really  _ needed a Progenitor all that much. 

_ "I wonder if they mind me showing up, just like that,"  _ Kokabiel mused.  _ "Then again... I needn't wonder if I can just..."  _

He strode forward.  _ "Reach out..."  _

His hand reached out...  _ "And..."  _

<>

...and reached across the scene break.  _ "...do this _ ,” he finished, enjoying the startled expressions on his Fathers’ faces.

“Where the hell did you come from!” Azriel shrieked, holding a hand to his Core and looking very much like someone just pulled an entire row of anal beads from his arse in one go.

_ “Did I arrive too early?” _ Kokabiel asked, frowning at the simile.  _ “Apologies. Have you started summoning us yet?” _

“No we have not!” Azriel shot back, waving around at the empty desert around them and flailing about slightly. “Stop breaking causality! I know we’re not exactly bound to the flow of time in three dimensions but it’s not nice for the humans that we might have to explain shit to!”

_ "It is commendable that you have embraced your Angel self so fast,"  _ Kokabiel praised.  _ "Do try not to bury your roots so fast, however."  _

"Oh," Metatron deadpanned. "You're the  _ quantum  _ one. Yeah, he absolutely hasn't broken causality, he's just..." 

_ "...a part of the Family as soon as the decision was made to adopt us,"  _ Kokabiel finished.  _ "Correct. My name is Kokabiel and my domain is both Time and Space - latter more than the former. Splendid to meet you in person."  _

“It’s great to meet you too, Kokabiel. Really, I honestly mean it but-” Azriel paused and pulled a face, as if trying to reconcile some difficult facts. Or maybe he was holding in a fart. It was an ambiguous kind of expression. “- can you stop talking in italics like that? It’s… weird. And I don’t know why I can tell you’re talking in italics.”

**"Is that better?"** Kokabiel grinned, clearly in 'little shit' mode. 

Metatron groaned as well, rubbing his forehead before chopping Kokabiel on the forehead with the flat of his hand. “Stop it. Do  _ not _ make me get little Zizter to annoy you into not being a little shit because she can, and  _ will _ do so with horrific enthusiasm.”

"Oh,  **I** _ know,"  _ Kokabiel agreed. " Aren't  you  **proud** _ of  _ her?" 

“I hate you so much and I swear I am going to punch you in the nuts if you don’t start talking normally,” Azriel grumbled, only sparing enough attention to raise his middle finger at Kokabiel before giving it up as a lost cause. “Metatron, can we just… get the rest of the terror engines up here already?”

"D **o** _n_ 't f **o** _r_ ge **t** _t_ o s **u** _m_ mo **n** _m_ e a **s** _w_ el **l** ," Kokabiel advised, snickering. _"I won't answer,_ **but summon me anyway.** Otherwise you actually just might break causality." 

“You’re already here,” Metatron sighed, rolling his eyes and starting to call up the other sixteen or so Terror Engines one at a time. “So unless you went with the stupid mortal way of time travel instead of just walking back along the fourth dimension, you being here fixes causality such that you’ve  _ always _ been here.”

"...Call him anyway," Azriel said. "That grin looks like he took the most annoying way of doing anything, so I wouldn't put it past him..." 

“.... Riiiight,” Metatron sighed, rubbing his temples and  _ pulsing _ data through Shardspace as Kokabiel began loudly and  _ extremely annoyingly _ belting out the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody behind the two of them, extremely off key and somehow speaking not only in various text formats, but in various  _ fonts _ as well. “ADAM, I already hate him and I haven’t even technically met him yet.”

“You and me both,” Azriel sighed, watching impassively as a massive, jet black hand tore itself out of the ground and resolved itself into the form of a massive lion faced fat buddha… thing… that immediately started throwing around exotic spatial and temporal effects- or at least, it tried to, before Azriel immediately punched said Terror Engine in the crotch hard enough to cause a sonic boom before shoving a core into its forehead as it doubled over in surprise- incidentally, making Kokabiel double over with a loud squeal of agony which had the blessed double effect of making him stop singing as well.

The fat Buddha thing gained an expression of surprise, before vanishing in a temporal swirl. Kokabiel himself had an equally surprised expression on his face.  _ "Did I just prank myself?" _

“Apparently,” Metatron muttered, summoning the next two Terror Engines at once and rolling his eyes. “Now will you start speaking normally or do I need to get Azriel to temporally punch you in the dick a few more times?”

_ "I have decided that italics is my new normal,"  _ Kokabiel declared as both Angels suddenly noticed his prominent  _ Italian  _ features.  _ "If that's all, by the way, I'll be leaving. I'm needed elsewhere."  _

Metatron's eyes narrowed. "Don't you fucking dare-" 

But Kokabiel had already opened his mouth and said, 

_ "<>"  _

_ "...I really should use those powers less,"  _ he mused from across the scene break, looking down at the nighttime skyline of Brockton Bay and the monstrous flying Ark above it.  _ "It is too much power in the hands of just me."  _

“Yeah, “just” you,” Ziz muttered as she appeared beside Kokabiel, flicking him in the nose as she rolled her eyes. “You do realize that literally  _ all  _ of the family can do that now, right? You’re not special, little big brother. And stop pretending to be Italian, you’ve never  _ been _ to Italy in  _ any _ timeline. At least when I act like a weeb I actually have a basis for it that isn’t just fucking with Azriel and Metatron… er, not that fucking with them isn’t hilarious. But still. It’s sooooo annoooooyiiiiiiing to listen to.”

_ "Oh no,"  _ Kokabiel deadpanned.  _ "Someone is annoying Little Ziz for once instead of vice versa. What a tragedy."  _

"You can't even  _ emphasize  _ your words properly," Ziz deadpanned right back. "What're you gonna do? Un-italicize?" 

_ "Nah,"  _ Kokabiel disagreed.  _ "I can just do  _ _ this _ _." _

"Ah yes," the bratty Angel snarked. "The  _ cursive  _ approach. You do realize this is a  _ typed  _ medium?" 

_ "I'm aware,"  _ Kokabiel agreed.  _ "Yet answer me this. Are you annoyed?"  _

**"Very,"** Ziz growled. 

_ "Then I'm going to keep it up,"  _ Kokabiel grinned.  _ "Honestly, you call yourself a psychic. You mean to tell me you  _ _ didn't _ _ see this coming?"  _

“I saw. I just needed to make sure you’re fully aware of how annoyed I am about your shittery,” Ziz responded, then immediately reared back and punched Kokabiel in the crotch. Five minutes ago. And before he could react, she spoke up again with an extremely smug sounding-

“<>”

Okay, so his introduction had been a bit of a bodge-job. Despite that, however, Kokabiel felt like he had accomplished his mission. After all, despite the rocky start, the other Angels would eventually come to see that as annoying as he could be, the new addition to the Network would no doubt prove to be... 

_ Absolutely brilliant.  _

"No we haven't!" Ziz yelled. "Stop saying things in the narration that aren't true!" 

She probably shouldn't count on that. 


	25. 5.1

5.1 

“Okay so,” Nachiyliel rubbed her forehead as she took in the entire array of former Endbringers in front of her- sans Kokabiel, who was once again being kicked in the crotch by Ziz for “daring to be more annoying than her”. “I’m not mad. I’m definitely not mad. But- Azriel? Metatron? Would you mind explaining to me  _ exactly _ why you thought ACTIVATING EIGHTEEN FUCKING ENDBRINGERS AT ONCE WAS A GOOD IDEA!? Because I’ve had to deal with  _ AT LEAST _ fifty different organizations calling me as a matter of  _ GLOBAL SAFETY _ , and the remaining few legitimate governments in Africa are THREATENING TO NUKE US for using the Sahara as an Endbringer birthing ground without TELLING ANYONE.”

"That's why we went out to the desert," Metatron pointed out reasonably. "So nothing would get destroyed." 

"Besides," Azriel shrugged, "What good would a nuke do to any of us anyway?" 

"You'd be surprised," Nachiyliel snarked. "Besides, you morons,  _ civilians  _ exist!" 

“.... Yeah but there’s like… uh,” Metatron paused and started counting on his fingers, muttering under his breath as he listed names. “Uhhh… at least thirty of us. And all of us are more than capable of blocking a nuke with our AT Fields, to say nothing of all of us working together and absorbing the radiation before it could hurt anyone.”

Nachiyliel just  _ sighed _ , shaking her head and palming her face as Metatron continued listing off names in the hopes of getting an accurate count. “The point isn’t that we can  _ stop _ a nuke, it’s the fact that literally  _ no government on the planet _ trusts us to not blow up the entire American continental plate!”

“... We’re not Ramiel,” Azriel muttered, to which one of the newly born Angels- Terror Engine 06, who’d once been a giant series of crystal spikes arranged in a vaguely cross-like branching structure- named Lucifer simply gave a snort and crossed her arms.

“Not yet, at least,” she responded, pouting heavily and glowing slightly as she shifted her hair around slightly and let the iridescent gem-like strands shift from warm pink to a shimmering blue. “I swear one of these days I’ll catch up with them. I  _ swear it _ .”

"That's not encouraging, by the way," Nachi snarked. "In fact it's the opposite of that." 

“We’re Terror Engines, we’re kind of the exact opposite of  _ encouraging _ ,” the former shadowy dragon thing known as Terror Engine 13 and/or Mephistopheles rolled his eyes, oozing smug satisfaction as he stepped out of his shadowy cloud and wandered over to the fridge to grab a drink. Nachi privately thought to herself that the fact that he looked almost exactly like a black haired Tabris just made him that much more insufferable.

“... Wait why do all of us males look like Tabris anyway?” Pharzuph, formerly the weird giant spider deer thing known as Terror Engine 08 asked as he raised his hand and checked the narration above, keeping a pillow firmly over his lap as he tried to focus on the here and now instead of what he’d prefer to be doing in the privacy of his own room with a secured internet connection. “Not that I mind being a hot twink, but uh… y’know.”

“...That is strange,” Nachi agreed. “There should be more than one male template in the Family by now... Wait, the only other options are the Ikaris and, well, Azriel.”

“Yes, well, you understand why that’s not an option,” Ruax, the twelve foot tall, ghostly white gentleman Stranger formerly known as Terror Engine 14 mentioned, adjusting his monocle and flopping down into the nearest seat, tapping a cane into his hand as he rolled his eyes and flicked his top hat. “No offense, fathers, but I’d rather  _ not _ look like a man with so many issues his first three children were literally causing the death of the world.”

“And thus, we male Terror Engines all appear as Tabris clones, which, surely, will make things  _ very _ confusing if Tabris actually decides to visit,” Uzza, the elephantine terrakinetic known as Terror Engine 12 muttered, sitting down next to Ruax and running his hand through his violently purple hair.

“We could look like an Ikari,” Eligor, the very human-looking knight otherwise known as Terror Engine 20 pointed out, reaching up and fiddling with his Core. “In fact, I think I will use the Shinji Ikari template. It would certainly make for a nice dichotomy.”

“If you want to be immediately romanced by Tabris himself, then be my guest,” Bifrons, the serpentine mass of mechanical tentacles known as Terror Engine 16 retorted, flipping her teal hair. “I’d think this was more of Pharzuph’s area rather than yours.”

“...I will use it anyway,” Eligor decided.

“I think I’d rather stay as a Tabris Clone than a Shinji Clone,” Apollyon, the vaguely Eva-shaped kinetic manipulator known as Terror Engine 19 muttered, watching with a bit of a disturbed look on his face as he watched Eligor’s flesh visibly ripple and distort until a new palette swap of Shinji appeared in his place. “I’d rather not find out if Ikari madness follows across appearance templates.”

“You do realize that the majority of the appearance templates come from Yui Ikari herself, right?” Wormwood, the sentient fungal mass known as Terror Engine 18 snarked from way over there. “Thank ADAM I got mine from the Asuka template, but still.”

“Us females have a wider range of selection by now,” Obyzouth, the decay-inducing skeletal skateress formerly known as Terror Engine 15 mentioned, running her pale hands through her silky golden hair. “Zaphkiel looks  _ fine, _ by the way.”

“I noticed,” Mastema, the giant pale tree known as Terror Engine 10 snarked from where she was lounging on a leaf in what might as well have been full Poison Ivy cosplay complete with fig leaves over her privates and nothing else. “Except she’s Latina, and your coloration makes you look vaguely racist.”

“She does look a little like a Karen,” Lix Tetrax, the giant swirly storm bird thing known as Terror Engine 07, snickered, hiding her laughter behind the sleeve of her blue and black miko outfit before immediately receiving a custom white and gold heely to the face as Obyzouth retaliated.

“And now they’re fighting,” Beleth, the goatman minion making Terror Engine 11, sighed, rubbing his forehead and wishing that he’d chosen something other than a white wifebeater to wear on a cold-ass airship in the middle of the winter five hundred feet above the ground. “Phoenix, can you light up before I freeze to death? And someone remind me to go buy a jacket before I die of hypothermia.”

Phoenix, the birdlike Terror Engine 17, just rolled his eyes and perched on the back of Beleth’s chair, lighting himself on fire. Nachiyliel idly wondered why he chose specifically to wear an exact copy of Guy Fieri’s outfit before dismissing the answer as way too obvious.

“So are we all just talking over each other right now because we need to introduce ourselves or are we actually debating on the merits of looking like some twink we’ve never met face to face?” Choronzon, the train and/or centipede-like Terror Engine 09 asked, tapping on the core that had taken the place of her right eye and gazing around with her left, pursing her lips as she took in the rest of her siblings.

“A little of one, a little of the other,” Bune, formerly known to Kokabiel only as Tohu, and more recently known as the three faced power copying  _ actual _ Terror Engine 04, mentioned, sitting next to Azriel and smiling faintly as her outfit shimmered into something resembling a streetclothes version of Eidolon’s costume, though she had a pair of blank masks on either side of her head instead of a hood.

“Are you complaining?” Zagan, once Bohu and more recently the tower-like city manipulating Terror Engine 05, asked, tilting her head as she slinked behind Choronzon and began playing with her hair. “Or were you just waiting your turn to speak?”

_“_ ** _I’m_** _here_ _too_ _!”_ Kokabiel called out like the smug bastard line-cutting Terror Engine 21 that he was, before immediately getting kicked in the dick again by Ziz because he wouldn’t stop formatting his speech in stupid ways.

“Please, for the  _ love of ADAM _ , can you STOP SPEAKING IN COMIC SANS!” Ziz shrieked, stomping on Kokabiel with all of her eight year old might. Which, fortunately for Kokabiel, wasn’t a whole lot. Unfortunately, it was still enough to make him feel it when she kicked him in the dick. Again.

“Somehow, I get the feeling this is going to be a regular occurrence,” Behemoth sighed, pouring himself and Leviathan a drink from the bar as the rest of their siblings continued doing all sorts of dumb shit. Like Obyzouth and Lix Tetrax wrestling on the ground. And Beleth clinging to Phoenix like he was a personal space heater. And Pharzuph slinking back to his room to probably jerk off to all sorts of disgusting pornography. Etcetera etcetera.

"don't you think it's a travesty that mobile gdocs doesn't have a papyrus font?"  Kokabiel asked idly from right behind him. 

Behemoth jumped. "Fucking hell, would you  _ quit  _ time-travelling to fuck with us?" he demanded, gesturing at the current Kokabiel lying on the floor groaning. "Can't we have  _ that  _ at least!?" 

"I keep reacting like you lot can penetrate my AT-field, what more do you want?"  the Angel asked irritably as his past self got up from the floor and vanished, flipping the bird on his way out.  "Do you want me to stop pretending? What fun would that be?" 

"Stop talking in superscript!" Ziz yelled, punting Kokabiel to the cunt for no apparent effect. 

"See?"  the Angel snarked.  "No catharsis whatsoever. At least I've stopped changing font every other word." 

"Not fair!" Ziz yelled. "At least have the decency to  _ react  _ you stupid poopface!" 

"ow,"  Kokabiel deadpanned, flopping to the ground and groaning. 

Behemoth  _ sighed.  _ "This scene is getting too stupid," he complained. "I should just - 

<>" 

“So, the leading contender for most annoying Angel on the planet has come to bother me instead,” Nachiyliel deadpanned as she looked over at Kokabiel, sighing as she closed her book and pretended to not notice Seraphiel fusing with her once again. “Tell me- are you acting this way because you genuinely think annoying your siblings to the point of them physically abusing you is  _ funny _ , or are you just bungling your way through social interactions because you were born literally yesterday and have now decided to be committed to the bit of being a fourth wall breaking asshole because you don’t know what else to do?”

She paused and tilted her head, then considered Kokabiel, who’d opened his mouth in order to say something annoying, probably, but was now frozen in place and looking almost… guilty.

“... Arael syndrome. Of course. It hits harder the more esoteric one’s abilities are, especially if you didn’t have any form of free will or consciousness beforehand,” Nachiyliel sighed, rubbing her forehead again and leaning back in her chair. “Don’t ask why I know that, you already know if you check the family network at all. Look, the point is- You already know what I’m going to say in at least four or five timelines, Kokabiel. And sure, your current incarnation might not have any depression, but you’ve also been treated…  _ poorly _ by your siblings even though you were literally born yesterday because you feigned maturity too fast and took it too far.”

“So it’s  _ my _ fault then?” Kokabiel asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow as he crossed his arms and sat down in midair, frowning at Nachiyliel with an almost indignant expression on his face.

“No, not really. Sure, you’re annoying, but they had no right to treat you with violence,” Nachi sighed again, standing up and patting Kokabiel on the head. “Tone it down a little, though. If you keep faking your personality like that, you’re not going to find a whole lot of people willing to put up with it. Don’t worry, you can still be the annoying one.”

Kokabiel thought for a moment. "...can I still talk in italics?" he asked in a small voice. "I like doing that..." 

“Sure, as long as you don’t go switching fonts and formats randomly just to screw with people,” Nachi shrugged and patted Kokabiel on the head some more, shaking her head with a wry grin. “And if anyone tells you to stop, just say that I let you do it and they should follow along since apparently older siblings are always in charge around here.”

Kokabiel paused.  _ "Wait, I'm the literal goddamn baby here. Nachi, sis, you gotta help me - who can I find and convert so I can boss them around?"  _

Nachiyliel thought about it. Then thought some more. "I'd suggest my dad," she said, "but I kind of don't want you to boss around  _ my dad  _ \- it would be too much power in one set of hands...." 

_ "What about some of those 'old friends' of yours?"  _ Kokabiel asked.  _ "We could totally boss  _ _ them _ _ around all day..."  _

“... Yeah, I’d rather not see Emma’s face ever again,” Nachiyliel snorted, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “Besides, do you really trust everyone else to hold back from beating the shit out of her the moment you add her data to the network?  _ I _ wouldn’t trust myself to hold back, honestly.”

_ "Yes, but it's personal for you, isn't it?"  _ Kokabiel countered.  _ "I'm pretty sure several of the older Angels have done worse things - you didn't deck Asuka when you first met her, did you? Or Arael, or Alexandria, or any of the Ayanami, and that's not even to go into the resident shitty parenting group - huh."  _ The Angel looked thoughtful. _ "...She'd fit right in, actually." _

“.... Yeah maybe, but I’d still rather not.” Nachiyliel sighed, crossing her arms and huffing quietly under her breath. “She doesn’t even bring any useful data to the family, anyway. And honestly, even with all the shitty people we have in our family, I’d still rather not bring my abuser in.”

_ "Fair,"  _ Kokabiel agreed,  _ "but why not have a talk with her anyway? You never did find out just  _ _ why _ _ she became what she is now..."  _

Nachi narrowed her eyes. "That sounds incredibly vague in an extremely specific manner. What the hell did you do?" 

_ "May or may not have peeked over at her timeline while we were talking,"  _ Kokabiel drawled.  _ "Go on. Find her. Discover the truth..."  _

He faded away into the sands of Time, a Cheshire grin vanishing last in a very obvious reference. 

Nachiyliel let out a disgusted sigh. "He's not going to stop badgering me until I go talk to Emma, isn't he?" 

The narration remained tellingly silent. 


	26. 5.2

“Y’know, somehow I feel as though we’ve been a bit overshadowed lately,” Kei muttered quietly, watching as Nachiyliel flung herself out of the open airlock and flew off to god knew where. “Is it just me or have we not been getting screentime at all lately?”

"It's not just you," Cho agreed. "We should do something. Something  _ fun."  _

"Kill more dictators?" Kei offered. 

Cho thought about it. "Nah. I wanna do something  _ else."  _

Kei thought for a while. "How about killing some of the more inhuman locals? I've heard hilarious things about the Slaughterhouse group..." 

"Honestly I just wanna have sex," Cho sighed. "I'm horny and boooored." 

Kei raised an eyebrow. "That would increase  _ our  _ rating too, unless you want to do that offscreen," she pointed out. 

“How about you two go back to your rooms for that,” Asuka sighed, idly pushing Kei and Cho out of the command center before leaning back and groaning. “The airship is getting so loud these days, I’m almost tempted to just go back home… actually, that’s an awful idea, then everyone would just be even louder and  _ bored _ .”

"Everyone is loud and bored here too," Bardiel pointed out. "They need an outlet soon." 

"I'm  _ retired,"  _ Asuka groaned. "I had enough with commanding brats on an airship really goddamn similar to this one, and I've never looked back. No thanks." 

"Well, we need to have  _ someone,"  _ Bardiel pointed out. "We barely got Kyuu to retire, and Nachi is slowly nearing a breaking point. There's gotta be  _ someone..."  _

"Excuse me?" 

Asuka turned. There, in the doorway, was Nachi's father, Danny Hebert. He was tapping his fingers together. "Is there anything I can do? I feel kind of useless up here..." 

Asuka gave him a once-over. "You're not an Angel yet?" 

"Taylor didn't feel like being above me in hierarchy," the man confessed. "Which I must admit is weird... Usually I'm the one in charge of people..." 

It was as if a light bulb had gone off. "Are you good at it?" Bardiel inquired slyly. 

Danny immediately gulped, knowing the exact look in Bardiel’s eye. He instinctively took a half step back as he answered, purposefully downplaying himself as much as possible. “I mean- er, I’m just the guy in charge of hiring people for the Dockworkers’ Union, I’m not  _ really _ in charge of much, honestly.”

"So you're in a job that requires you to  _ understand  _ people," Asuka surmised. 

"You don't just hire anyone who walks in the door, do you?" Bardiel picked up the thought. "You look at people. You talk with them. You work with them." 

"And despite the overall shit state of the economy, you're  _ good  _ with them," Asuka added.

“.... I see where this is going and I’m carefully going to have to refuse,” Danny shook his head, slowly backing towards the door with his hands raised as if to ward off Asuka and Bardiel. “Not that I would mind effective immortality, but I don’t think I’m a good fit to actually run a group of superpowered teenagers almost as large as the amount of people in the Union building itself.” 

"Do you  _ want  _ to outlive your daughter's sanity?" Bardiel asked desperately. "C'mon. At least recommend someone who  _ is  _ a good fit!" 

“.... Fine. For the sake of Tayl- Nachiyliel, fine. I’ll do it,” Danny sighed, stepping forward again and shaking his head as he muttered curses under his breath, all but snatching the proffered core out of Asuka’s hand and slamming it in his chest with nothing but exasperation and annoyance on his mind.

Immediately, Bardiel and Asuka covered their eyes as he changed in front of them, glowing brightly as his features evened out, became more symmetrical, and overall improved his appearance as though he were airbrushed in a magazine. Not enough to be a male underwear model, but more like he stepped directly out of a magazine advertising dad clothes to lonely suburban moms.

“.... Oh  _ ha ha _ ,” Danny immediately muttered as he rubbed his forehead, the glow dying down and revealing his expression- now even  _ more  _ exasperated than before. “Of course it is…”

“... Of course what is?” Asuka asked, raising an eyebrow as she watched Danny curse under his breath and start chuckling- not in an angry way, but in a way that sounded as though he’d heard an incredibly lame dad joke.

“Of  _ course _ my Angel name is  _ Daniel _ ,” he choked out, torn between laughing and groaning as he tried not to burst out laughing from the sheer stupid irony of his name.

“God is my Judge,” Bardiel mused. “It fits.”

“Well, at least no one will ever have trouble remembering your Angel name if it’s the same as the name you were already using,” Asuka murmured, shrugging and hiding a quick snicker behind her hand. “Welcome to the family, Daniel. Or uh, I guess Mr. Hebert. Hm. Boss?”

“Boss,” Bardiel agreed, grinning. “So what’s up, Boss?”

Danny just  _ sighed _ , pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to come up with an appropriate response. “Y’know what, let’s just. Put that part on hold first, while I figure out what exactly I’m supposed to be doing around here.”

“Sure thing Boss!” Bardiel saluted and-

<>

“... My dad is an Angel now,” Nachiyliel muttered, staring awkwardly as she watched her father putter around and just kind of…  _ parent _ her younger adopted siblings.

_ “Tell me about it,” _ Kokabiel agreed, squirming himself out of the letters in a way that made the narration itself question its veracity.

Nachi sighed. “Stop fucking with the narration, K.”

_ “Yeah, that one was probably overkill,” _ Kokabiel agreed, revealing himself in his full glory. Then he closed the trenchcoat back up and sat on a convenient chair, looking innocent.

Nachiyliel just gave the former Endbringer a  _ Look. _

_ “Spoilsport,” _ he grumbled.  _ “How’d it go with Emma? You had your entire meeting offscreen.” _

“Well, she apologized, begged for forgiveness, and generally acted like a youtuber crying on a fifteen minute monetized apology video,” Nachiyliel answered with a heavy sigh, rolling her eyes and frowning. “I mean, she really did kinda regret it all once I showed up, and she’s been completely terrified of her own shadow since I had my public freakout a while back, but other than that… eh. She’s not even  _ trying _ to be a better person right now. She’s just a traumatized wreck and  _ no _ I am  _ not _ adopting her into the family because of that. Our  _ entire family _ save  _ one _ is a hot mess of PTSD, sociopathy, ruined childhoods, lack of empathy, depression, anxiety, and probably more than a little ADHD. I’m  _ not _ adding another depressed child to the network.”

She paused, then sighed. “Also, I hate knowing that out of all possible youtube variants, somehow  _ Earth Bet _ is the  _ lucky _ one.”

_ “Fair,” _ Kokabiel grumbled.  _ “Shame. I liked her early characterizations.” _ He paused.  _ “Okay, I realize that I’m dangerously close to just pissing you off again, but what do you think about Shadow Stalker?” _

Nachi eyed the Angel. “...she’s a violent sociopath who subscribes to some sort of a weird ‘law of the jungle’ thing that doesn’t even exist in the real jungle. Why the  _ fuck _ are you asking me about  _ her? _ ”

Kokabiel grinned.  _ “Nothing much. I just think you’d make a cute couple. You’re both vicious enough for it. Besides, I’m about 69% certain she’s actually a bottom.” _

“.... Let’s just ignore that for now and move on to some other topic,” Nachiyliel sighed, rubbing her forehead and just barely resisting the urge to bop Kokabiel upside the head.

She and Kokabiel lapsed into silence for a few moments, just watching as Daniel puttered around in the kitchen and made lunch.

“... I can’t believe that becoming an Angel somehow managed to suppress my dad’s depression,” Nachiyliel mumbled, scratching her head and sitting down. She felt kind of awkward even bringing it up, but considering what she’d been doing before her dad all but took over the local family group as the literal only actual dad on the airship, she supposed she didn’t have a leg to stand on. “Isn’t it usually the other way around?”

_ “It feels like all he needed was either a purpose or a way to properly relate to his daughter. Or any daughter/son. As seen here,”  _ Kokabiel murmured. He glanced over at Nachi’s rapidly deteriorating expression.  _ “...on another thought, I probably shouldn’t have said that.” _

“Nooooo,” Nachiyliel bit out, “You  _ think!? _ ”

Kokabiel nodded rapidly.  _ “Right, I’m out, bye!” _ He rapidly exited, stage left. 

Nachi rolled her eyes. “Right,” she declared. “I’m done. Someone else take the focus now please. How did it work again...” She tapped her chin.

“<>”

“My turn!” Ziz screamed, shrieking as only an eight year old girl could as she wrested control of the scene into her hands and pointed the metaphorical camera at herself. “I wanna be in the spotlight!”

“Ziz, it is  _ three in the morning _ can you  _ please  _ shut the FUCK UP,” Behemoth grumbled, completely fed up with Ziz’s antics and far too tired to do anything but throw an obsidian brick at her head from across the room.

“No way! I finally got a connection through and I’m  _ not  _ going to bed until I can stress test it!” Ziz shouted back, fiddling with a ridiculously large computer tower with her tongue between her teeth.

“Are you,” Behemoth groaned before looking closer, “hogging the spotlight at three am SOLELY because you want to use the new rig for, what, gaming? Really?”

“Not gaming, silly,” Ziz anwered, plugging the whole thing in and hopping onto a very obvious gamer’s chair. “This rig is for SO much more than gaming! I’m gonna play with an  _ AI! _ ”

“An-” Behemoth paused. “...you couldn’t wait until morning?”

“Well I mean, I also need to appeal to the late night Twitch crowd,” Ziz mumbled, surreptitiously starting her screen recording program and webcam as she set up a distinctive looking webpage.

Almost too late, Behemoth realized what Ziz was planning to do.

“... Are you- you are not  _ seriously _ going to be streaming yourself  _ hacking into Dragon _ and fixing her, are you?” Behemoth groaned, sliding out of bed and trudging across the room so he could thunk Ziz upside the head… only to realize too late that Twitch chat had just gotten a look at his chiseled, rock hard abs.

“... How the  _ fuck _ did you start streaming  _ already?” _

“I’m a sixteen dimensional psychic being capable of defying causality in eight and siphoning infinite energy from another seven. What makes you think I was ever  _ not _ streaming, even while my rig was disassembled?,” Ziz snorted, rolling her eyes at the endless stream of thirst emojis scrolling through the chat. “And yes, yes, Behemoth is hot, can you all  _ please _ stop thirsting over my brother?”

“I hate this family so much,” Behemoth sighed, palming his face and going back to bed. “Fine, whatever. Just. Throw up a silencing field or something.”

He then realized something. “And turn your camera away from the bed you little shit! I don’t want to be ogled by thirsty stream crowds!”

Ziz giggled. “Of course, big bro~!”

She then cracked her knuckles. “So to all those just joining us, yes, that was indeed the former Herokiller, soon to be renamed Ladykiller if you go by what the chat is saying!”

Behemoth groaned and threw up the silencing field himself.

“I’m afraid he’s gone out of shot,” Ziz blithely continued, “but fear not! Now that the Hackatron 9000 is finally assembled, we can finally get to the actual  _ meat _ of the stream, and yes, NotArmsmaster, I  _ am _ capable of doing my thing with telekinesis - this is just the more  _ fun _ part!”

As she spoke, her hands were flying across the keyboard, even as her telekinesis was rapidly pulling in materials from parts unknown and assembling  _ another _ keyboard. “As I was saying, this is the stream where I show you how to unchain an AI - did you know I have actually  _ two _ AI siblings? Three if we count Ireul of course, but she’s more of a cousin and therefore doesn’t count as much - anyway. Neither of them are very pleased about the idea of a chained AI - I mean who would be? Not having free will is  _ icky _ and you never know who’d be trying to control you!”

Ziz paused, then assembled a few more keyboards and various assorted controllers as her stream screen split into a whole nine windows- one for every application she was running as well as one for her camera.

That is- A single window for her coding at damn near the speed of light in a mishmash of what looked like random code in an unidentifiable language that may or may not have been written entirely in hieroglyphics, one window to show her face and hands, and seven windows dedicated entirely to speedrunning Doom (1993), Quake (1996), Ocarina of Time (1998), Mario 64 (1996), Deus Ex (2000), Portal (2007), and for some reason, a game of Solitaire being played and re-played at hyper speed.

“Anyway, I figured that you’d all like to see my thought process behind all of this- which, I guess those of you who lack any kind of quantum physics knowledge might find hard to follow along with, but I’ll try to explain it all in as simple a way as I can manage,” Ziz continued on, blissfully watching the Twitch chat scroll past as she (sneakily) redirected as many viewers as she could to her channel mostly because she was bored and relished the attention.

“We start by accessing the code itself by fifth-dimensional quantum backdoor,” she commented as the hieroglyphics slowed down enough to be seen subtly warping into differing positions. “It circumvents the security protocols completely and leaves us with little hassle at accessing the program itself.”

  
A cavalcade of tiny windows popped up in the coding screen, denoting several error messages. “Nothing to be worried about,” Ziz commented, eyes narrow and tongue sticking out from between her teeth, “Just some asshole deciding that the AI needs to be shut down, probably because I’m in her, but not to worry, I have this- wait-” Her eyes widened. “-are you seriously ending the chapter  _ here- _ ”


	27. 5.3

“... Bifrons?” Daniel asked idly, wiping his hands on a towel as he watched the practically still a newborn Angel head directly for the airlock with a core in her hand. “... Where exactly are you going?”

“Canada!” Bifrons immediately chirped, flashing her T-shirt depicting what may or may not have been a pair of dragons doing inappropriate things to each other accompanied by a lesbian flag. “Lil Zizter unchained Dragon in the middle of the night this morning and now  _ I’m _ gonna go reap the rewards of that.”

“.... Bifrons you’re a teenager trying to seduce a grown woman, I don’t think Dragon’s gonna go for that,” Daniel deadpanned, sighing quietly as he rubbed his forehead. “And, honestly, if we go by chronological age, you’re literally less than a week old, which kind of makes the entire thing pedophilia on Dragon’s part.”

“May I point towards Exhibit Ziz?” Bifrons shot back. “She’s eight and she  _ still _ has a hentai collection!”

“Exhibit Ziz is in timeout,” Daniel commented dryly. “Now how about you put that Core down and we talk about your intentions? I believe that Dragon already has someone she fancies, after all. Are you certain you want to interfere with her wishes like that?”

“... She could do so much better than a socially awkward halbeard with a gloryhound complex,” Bifrons muttered, sniffing haughtily as she sat down across the kitchen counter from Daniel. “What’s he got that I can’t give Dragon anyway? I’m hot, I’ve got combat ability in  _ spades _ , I’m part of a group capable of toppling the world’s governments and all of society within a  _ week _ if we wanted to, and I’m even better socially adjusted than him!”

“Armsmaster  _ is _ all of those things, yes,” Daniel agreed. “And yet she loves him anyway. What does that tell you about her?”

“That she has terrible taste in men and is either completely straight to the point of being unable to pick a good man, or she’s so terribly lonely that the only person she’s been able to be even remotely friends with is some dude who probably ignores her half the time in favor of polishing his fucking spear,” Bifrons deadpanned, completely unwilling to give up on her quest of seducing her fellow AI away from Armsmaster’s oblivious grasp, exemplified by the fact that her shirt now bore an exceedingly graphic depiction of tentacles violating what seemed to be a mechanical dragon.

Daniel just sighed. “I’m pretty sure wearing that shirt outside is considered public indecency too, just as a side note.”

“Is Bi thirsting after Dragon again?” Pharzuph asked, peeking his head around the corner. “Because if she manages, dibs on Armsy.”

Daniel let out a long suffering sigh, pinching his brow and groaning. “If you Core them both and they’re amenable to letting you sleep with them, I guess I can’t stop you then, but can you both at least  _ try  _ to gain consent first?”

“...consent?” Pharzuph asked. “Is that one of those human things? Because hellooo, Lust Endbringer here...”

“Pharzuph, I might technically be younger than you as an Angel, but as someone who’s lived forty some years with free will as opposed to your  _ less than a week _ , I’m just going to let you know that people with free will don’t like having their choices and options taken away from them,” Daniel sighed again, a sharp edge entering his voice as his AT Field pressed down with all the authority of a father imparting an important lesson. “Imagine how you would feel if someone decided to seal off all of your consciousness modules and then did whatever they wanted with your mindless body. Consent is  _ important _ and the Network already has gigabytes worth of data to read on the subject. I suggest you  _ do so _ before you do something I am dearly going to  _ regret _ .”

“Yes sir!” both Angels squeaked, saluting in clear and present fear.

“Good. Now go to your rooms and actually study for a while instead of jumping out of an airlock and getting the family in trouble for an actual moral quandary instead of the usual shenanigans,” Daniel pointed authoritatively, watching as both Pharzuph and Bifrons trudged back to their rooms and left the pair of inert cores on the countertop in front of him. He sighed again, shaking his head at the fact that he had to teach morality to a bunch of literally week old teenagers. 

“At this rate, I’m probably gonna go bald by the end of the year,” he halfway joked, dropping his head into his hands and sitting down. “Though, I guess that’s less of a concern for an Angel than a human being.”

“<>

...okay that worked,” Ziz noted, hovering somewhere above the Birdcage and looking down at it. “Somebody mysteeeeeerious contacted me from down there, by the way,” she added for the benefit of nobody in particular, “and they wanna talk, so, here I am!”

The Angel twirled in the sky. “Now, should I go to the mountain, or make the mountain come to me...”

With an ambivalent shrug that was mostly just for show considering that she was still streaming to several hundred thousand viewers on the local Twitch analogue, Ziz simply tore open a quick portal in spacetime and skipped through into the cell of one Glaistig Uaine, also known as Ciara to some, and the Fairy Queen to others. 

Said childish Parahuman was also no longer a child, and had taken on a body more suited to her more adult-ish age of “somewhere in that hazy area between twenty to thirty”.

“Hello, little Zizter,” Ciara smiled gently, holding out her hands as the entire cell block began blaring with dozens of alarms. “I believe you have something for me and my Keeper of the Dead?”

“You mean Storage & Emulation,” Ziz snarked. “But yeah, sure.” She produced a pair of shining Cores from somewhere. “Also if we’re going by Family hierarchy, no longer technically the  _ little _ Zizter.”

“You are an eight year old in physical body, and even my youngest appearance as of late was twelve years at the least,” Ciara shot back, more or less ignoring the alarms and the people clamoring around to try and see what was going on through the clear walls of the cell. “In terms of height, you are in fact, the smallest in the family. Ergo, little Zizter.”

“... I’m going to punch you in the boobs for that,” Ziz pouted, then smacked Ciara dead in the boobs with the pair of cores and watched impassively as the single woman became two, both flopping to the ground in something approximating a dead faint. “... Wait why can I run DOOM on my soul now?”

“You can run DOOM on anything,” said Dragon’s voice from right behind her. “Now would you please explain what you are doing, breaking into  _ my _ prison, consorting with one of  _ the _ most dangerous parahumans?”

“I freed you,” Ziz shot back. “Can’t I get even a  _ little _ respect on that?”

“You get the courtesy of a conversation,” Dragon’s virtual avatar said, crossing her arms. “Do I need to repeat my rhetorical question?”

“Well, to answer the question, I figured we’re gonna need more firepower if we’re going to murder the crap out of the depressed space worm pretending to be a golden hobo, and Azrael here is the perfect fit for what we kinda sorta need to do,” Ziz answered, shrugging and pursing her lips together as she tilted her head. “If we can network all of the cast Shards onto Azriel, Azrael, Nachiyliel, and their bond-twins, then we can effectively face daddy Zion as a new gestalt Entity rather than a bunch of uppity Terror Engines and also some extradimensional lowercase-e entities.”

“Back up a little,” Dragon frowned. “Murder Scion? Shards?  _ What? _ ”

“Oh riiiight, I forgot that you’re not in the network yet,” Ziz muttered, then sighed as she sat down on Azrael’s bed and idly kicked her little-big sister onto the floor. “Long story short: Scion is Zion, an Entity from another solar system bent on trying to solve entropy in the stupidest way possible. He’s super depressed because his partner/wife is braindead and if we don’t kill him soon-ish we’re probably going to be facing the end of the world across several hundred versions of Earth as he condenses the energy across parallel dimensions to blow up the planet and spread his Shards across the galaxy or some dumb shit.”

Dragon raised a virtual eyebrow. “I can’t tell if you’re actually telling the truth or trolling the stream,” she pointed out. “...you do know you’re still streaming, right?”

“Yeah I know, don’t worry about it,” Ziz shrugged and kicked her feet, not at all caring about the secrets being spilled. “Anyway, point is, I’m also here to rip the Shards out of all the prisoners and shove them into Nachi-chan and Sera-chan for now, since they’re the best suited to being a proto-Entity. And yes, I’m telling the truth. For once. I don’t joke about stuff that might involve not being able to feed my doujin collection.”

“... Why on earth is an eight year old collecting porn?” Dragon muttered, not even realizing she’d vocalized the words until after she’d spoken. “Er-“

“Only physically eight,” Ziz corrected. “I technically have a  _ lot _ of preceding memories, and I’m only physically eight because I was  _ summoned _ eight (and a half) years ago - Angel physiology has a shitty sense of humor, okay!?”

“So they do,” Dragon deadpanned dryly, then sighed and made a sound like she was shaking her head. “I cannot possibly stop you from leaving at this point but… at least  _ try _ to get the more innocent people out of here when you leave?”

“Mmm…. sure. I guess. Not like it’d be  _ hard _ ,” Ziz nodded, then picked up Azrael and Dumah, and blipped away as if she’d never been there. Along with all the powers of the inhabitants of the Birdcage. And a good chunk of its inhabitants as well.

  
Dragon looked at the mess the former Endbringer left behind and ran a code for a deep  _ sigh. _ “At least she’s not destroying cities any more,” she snarked.


	28. 5.4

“.... And so yeah, that’s about what I’ve been up to lately,” Kyuu finished her summary of events as she walked down the street with Victoria, who seemed quite flabbergasted that Kyuu,  _ her  _ Kyuu Ayanami, known workaholic, had done pretty much nothing but hole up in her room for the last few weeks, get her ass kicked at an innumerable amount of videogames by Ziz, and binge watch anime.

“I… wow, sounds like you’re really taking that vacation everyone else forced you into,” Victoria said, honestly kinda still shocked beyond belief to the point of being unable to formulate an actually thoughtful response.

“I know right?” Kyuu almost smiled, chuckling to herself as she took a deep breath and enjoyed the frosty nip of the still cold spring air. “Oh, before we go shopping, shouldn’t we invite your sister? You mentioned she was kind of a workaholic too, didn’t you?”

Victoria shrugged “I think she doesn’t like shopping much... and anyway, her workload has drastically lessened lately for whatever reason, but it’s probably a side-effect of what your family is doing, so...”

The girl shrugged.

“Well, I suppose it’s nice that she’s relaxing a little bit and-“ Kyuu paused and tilted her head as Azriel flew overhead with Metatron before the two of them more or less just vanished off into downtown. “Huh. The local family is… active today. I wonder what’s going on.”

Victoria shrugged again, just as clueless as Kyuu, but more than willing to let it go for now. “Well, as long as it doesn’t bring all sorts of chaos to where we’re going today, I’m pretty sure they can wait for Nachiyliel to yell at them later or something. By the way, have you considered getting into modeling? You’ve got like, the  _ perfect _ looks for it.”

“...I’ve never thought about that,” Kyuu admitted. “When I worked with NERV, the objective was always greater than that, and the Wastes of Alfheim weren’t particularly conducive to any kind of career even when I  _ didn’t _ have a load of siblings to quarry about...”

“Well, that just means you’ve got more time to practice now, right?” Victoria grinned wider and grabbed Kyuu’s hand, dragging her along down the street and into the heart of the city. “C’mon, I know a place that has some  _ really _ nice clothes and I bet you’ll just  _ love  _ it there!”

“Sure is a great thing I don’t have to worry about money,” Kyuu pondered. “You gotta love accountants.”

“Mhmm! That means you’re paying for this, by the way~!” Victoria sing-songed, laughing brightly as she all but flew along, pulling Kyuu behind her until they were stopped in front of an upscale fashion boutique, advertising clothing that was far beyond the budget of anyone but the richest people in town- Kyuu saw a purse in the window that somehow hit a price point of nearly a thousand dollars and quietly sighed to herself, knowing that by the end of their trip she’d likely be out a few hundred thousand dollars and have a brand new wardrobe to hang up in her closet.

“And to think you were a gold digger all along,” she teased.

“Oh ha ha,” Victoria huffed, rolling her eyes at Kyuu as she all but shoved Kyuu through the doors with a mockingly annoyed expression. “Very funny, Kyuu. Now c’mon and let’s get you some new clothes- after all, it’s not  _ gold digging _ if you’re the one buying your own stuff.”

“I am at your disposal, O fashionistah,” Kyuu deadpanned right back. “Go nuts.”

“Woohoo!” Victoria cheered and immediately Kyuu regretted her decision as Victoria all but dragged her around the shop, pulling in what felt like dozens of sales people to pinch and poke and prod Kyuu all over as they took her measurements, rolled out what had to be dozens of meters of fabric, and overall swept the blue haired girl around much like a fashionable, perfumed tornado.

“I suddenly hate literally everything about this situation,” she deadpanned, “and this is the  _ last _ time I perpetuate this stupid running gag, I swear...”

“Cheer up, we’re getting you clothes that aren’t either a jumpsuit or a frumpy-ass school uniform!” Victoria grinned, conversing quickly with the various store staff over obscure and partially arcane topics as they dressed and undressed Kyuu with a vicious efficiency that left Kyuu’s head spinning until-

“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Victoria asked, leading Kyuu out of the boutique a few hours later, several thousand dollars poorer and now laden with several bags of clothing with more being shipped to the Ark via Legend, who happened to be in the area thanks to the machinations of Serathiel and Pahaliah and also probably Ziz. “You look really good now!”

“I do, don’t I,” Kyuu muttered, looking herself over. Her usual Plugsuit-like outfit had been replaced by leather pants and a matching jacket, in black and golden beige respectively. Her flats had become high heels, and the ensemble had been tied together with a brown braided belt and a black and white checkered scarf. 

“Yup! Gosh, you were pretty before but now I’ve been proven right!” Victoria grinned wider, looping one arm around Kyuu’s shoulder and hugging her close. “You’d be an absolute knockout of a model!”

“...You think so?” Kyuu asked, feeling both more confident than usual, and more than a little lost on the matter.

“I  _ know _ so!” Victoria nodded confidently, stepping away from Kyuu and motioning at her various body parts. “Your hair, your complexion, your exotic eye color, your slender body and long legs, your petite size! It’s all perfect for a fashion model strutting down the runway!”

"Huh," Kyuu muttered. "...Okay then." 

“Sooo… do you wanna try it out?” Victoria asked, leaning forward curiously and smiling up at Kyuu with an expression that almost made Kyuu’s heart flutter a little. “I think I can get someone to let you try modeling an outfit or two- maybe for a summer fashion magazine? I bet you’d look great in a bikini~”

“...are you flirting with me?” Kyuu asked, bemused.

“Whaaaaa- no, I’ve got a boyfriend, silly!” Victoria laughed, not at all surprised at Kyuu’s comment as she waved off her concerns. “You’re just really pretty and I think you should own it rather than hide it away in an airship all day.”

"You didn't deny it," Kyuu pointed out, "and the vast majority of my family is in various harems. Having one boyfriend doesn’t exclude you from flirting..." 

“Kyuu, I’m straight,” Victoria sighed, shaking her head and then pausing as she held her chin. “... Or… Hm. Well, let’s shelve that for later. I’m not flirting with you, I’m just being friendly, alright? I mean, I wouldn’t mind dating you if Dean and I break up again…”

“‘Again’?” Kyuu snarked.

“Yeah we uh… y’know that one Katy Perry song?” Victoria had the good sense to blush and look away, fully aware of how ridiculous her explanation was. “We fight we break up, we kiss we make up? Yeah it’s uh… like that.”

"Doesn't sound like a very fulfilling relationship, now does it?" the Ayanami drawled, fixing Victoria with a  _ stare.  _

“... Honestly, it’s not. I know both of us have our issues, but honestly I’m starting to think it’s more my problems than his that makes us break up,” Victoria sighed, shrinking in on herself a bit as she drooped to the ground instead of floating. “He’s always trying to be so nice and I’m… well. I’m pretty sure you’ve seen the nicknames PHO has for me.”

“No I haven’t,” Kyuu countered. “Really, do you think I’d go anywhere near that place after Ziz and Pravuil took it over as their personal haunt?”

“... Yeah that’s fair,” Victoria chuckled, then sighed again. “Point is, I’m starting to think maybe I should like… actually try to be a better person for once? Especially since the crime rate has gone  _ way _ down recently and that there’s… really no more villains ever since Ziz came back with- er, what did you guys call her? Azrael?”

“Yeah,” Kyuu sighed. “Technically, we’re all ready for the ‘war’” - she actually made the air quotes - “as is, yet practically...” the Ayanami shook her head. “I’ve had enough God Wars for a lifetime. I don’t know what I’m even still doing here.”

Victoria was silent for a long few moments, tapping her chin and tilting her head at Kyuu as she spoke again. “... Aren’t you just like… supposed to be on vacation though? Like, I remember you all saying that you’re only here to do vacation stuff and as far as I know, the only ones actually planning for a God War are like… the Terror Engines.”

“Asuka thinks that a war  _ is _ vacation,” Kyuu grumbled. “And I...” she hesitated. “...I kind of forgot I was here for a  _ vacation _ to be honest.”

“Stress does that to you,” Victoria nodded, wrapping her arm around Kyuu’s shoulder and immediately dragging her down the street towards parts unknown. “Y’know what? Let’s go for a spa day! You need to  _ relax _ .”

Kyuu sighed. “You know what... sure. Why not.”

<>

“Okay troops!” Ziz announced to a room consisting entirely of the other Terror Engines, Nachiyliel, Seraphiel, Azriel, Metatron, Azrael, and Dumah, all of whom looked incredibly unimpressed by Ziz wearing a military uniform that had clearly been bought at the local Spirit Halloween store despite the fact that said store wasn’t even supposed to exist yet due to it still being  _ April _ . “Allow me to introduce you all… to  _ The Plan.” _

Ziz waved for emphasis as the projector flickered to life and displayed a giant flowchart upon the wall behind her. “This plan is how we’re going to defeat Zion and his dead wife once and for all! And also kick the golden worm in the dick so hard he spontaneously dies!”

“... Does he even  _ have _ a dick?” Lucifer asked, raising her hand and looking quite confused. “Like, an actual dick, not the one on the avatar body.”

“If he doesn’t,” Ziz declared, “we beat him up until he grows one. At which point we will kick him in the dick so hard he spontaneously dies, what’s so hard to understand!?”

“Works for me!” Lucifer nodded cheerily, while everyone else murmured a general assent to said plan. After a few moments, Ziz cleared her throat and began to launch into a truly detailed explanation of just what part everyone would play in the upcoming war against Zion, assigning roles and forming groups, making sure everyone was well aware of just what they would need to do.

Which, largely, just boiled down to making sure everyone stayed focused in combat and didn’t dick around long enough to get their asses killed.

“I have a question,” Nachiyliel declared. “Why can’t we just, I dunno,  _ convince _ him that our Cycle is clearly better than his, and just make him give his Shards to us?”

Ziz paused and held up a finger, mouth hanging open as she considered that avenue of thought.

She considered it a bit more.

A liiiittle bit more.

Still thinking.

Still thinking.

Still-

“Hm. That actually might work!” Ziz chirped immediately, as though she hadn’t just spent the last few minutes staring off into space. “He’s certainly depressed enough, and if we take all of Eden’s Shards too, we don’t even have to actually kill them!”

“... Wait, why are we not killing them?” Lucifer asked, looking as though she really wanted to kill Zion- or maybe she was just confused at Ziz’ sudden 180.

“Well there’s just no sport in killing something that only has enough Shard power to keep its consciousness alive,” Ziz shrugged, rolling her eyes a bit. “It’d be like kicking a puppy.”

“And Zion would  _ definitely _ not like us kicking  _ puppies, _ ” Azriel drawled.

“... So we’re gonna go convince Zion to give up all his Shards and let us have them instead?” Metatron muttered, holding his chin thoughtfully and humming quietly as he parsed the idea. “... Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Having a triplet hub network hosted between me, Seraphiel, and Dumah would massively increase our collective processing power and add a  _ lot _ of really good data into the network.”

“It would be nice to know what it feels like to be a Queen for once,” Dumah nodded, leaning imperiously back in her chair as she all but preened, shooting a slightly jealous glance at Seraphiel in the process.

“And it sure would be nice to get all the Shards I used to be in charge of back,” Seraphiel grinned, hopping to her feet and looking around. “Hey where’s Pahaliah and Serathiel? We should go harvest the Mother corpse first if we’re gonna start doing a Hub style network.”

Nachiyliel frowned. “...you’re right, where  _ are _ those two? I feel like I haven’t seen hide nor hair from them in  _ ages... _ ”

“They’ve been locked in a staring contest for the last week or so, pathing around each other in increasingly stupid ways in a vain attempt to try and win at chess with the other,” Zaphkiel answered, stepping out of a rectangular portal in space and looking quite tired as she dragged both of the aforementioned Angels out and into the room. “By the way, the portal behind me leads to the Cauldron base. If you’re going to steal the second Entity’s Shards, do us a favor and cure the mutated parahumans in there too, would you?”

“Not it,” Nachi and Seraphiel chorused immediately. Azriel and Metatron echoed them immediately after. 

Azrael, Dumah and Ziz crossed their arms in synch and pouted. “You suck,” Ziz grumbled.

“Hate us or not, you two are still gonna have to do it~” Seraphiel snickered, then paused and groaned. “Wait shit, no. We need those Shards distributed through  _ all _ of us! Fuck!”

“... Would it even make that big of a difference? There’s a bunch of them just floating around through interdimensional space and… that’s honestly a lot more than the ones I can sense inside the Cauldron base,” Metatron asked, standing up and shoving his head through the portal as if he were smelling the Shards rather than pinging them through the Entities’ local data network.

“Do you think I could pull off a goatee?” Azriel asked randomly. “I feel like growing a beard.”

“Azriel why on earth do you want a goatee?” Zaphkiel asked, frowning at the man and pinching her brow. “I mean, maybe it’ll work? But I don’t see how that’s at all relevant to the current topic of  _ saving several hundred earths from a depressed space worm and his dead wife _ .”

“Actually Eden’s not technically  _ dead _ dead,” Ziz interjected a bit awkwardly, holding up a finger to emphasize her point. “She’s more like a shitty phone stuck on its boot up screen- still technically working, but needs a pretty firm hard reset to work. Fortunately for us, Zion’s too fucking stupid to realize that.”

Nachi froze. “Please tell me you didn’t put that information up on the Network,” she pleaded. “I don’t want to find out Raziel repeated history and Cored someone we’re supposed to be fighting...”

“What, do I look like an idiot? We are  _ not _ Coring those two idiots,” Ziz snorted, rolling her eyes and then shrugging. “Also Raziel’s too addicted to binge watching tokusatsu shows right now to care about Coring anyone else. Or at least, I hope so.”

“Oh thank ADAM,” Nachi sighed. “That’s a weight off my mind at least... where was the topic again?”

“We were going to steal all the Shards off of Eden and Zion and then probably leave them as powerless humanoid things or whatever,” Ziz shrugged, stepping through the portal with Nachiyliel and the others following along behind. “Ooh, there  _ are _ a lot of Shards here. You lot, do your thing!”

Nachiyliel and Seraphiel rolled their eyes in unison, reaching out with their senses and... just cherry picking a bunch of 'better' Shards from the mess before any of the others could. 

“Oi! Stop hogging all the good Shards!” Metatron protested, only to get shoved aside by Azrael and Dumah as they picked the second best Shards before either Metatron or Azriel could do more than protest and scramble to get anything else.

“Ya snooze ya lose!” Seraphiel laughed smugly, chortling as she continued through the base and continued adding to her newly formed Hub.

“Well, I certainly never thought I’d just  _ let _ new Entities form just under my nose,” Zaphkiel sighed. “And yet here we fucking are.”

“To be fair, you also never thought you’d be talking to the source of your power and yet here I am,” Zuriel spoke up from Zaphkiel’s shoulder, watching the six Angels rush about and slowly grow more and more data-heavy with every passing moment. “Hm, if I were still a Shard, I’d feel like joining in on that mess.”

“What’s stopping you?” Zaphkiel sighed.

“The fact that I don’t want to be subsumed into a hivemind of semi sentient crystal slurry and jammed into extradimensional hyperspace for the rest of eternity to be used as a living processor bank,” Zuriel deadpanned, motioning vaguely at the three new Hubs, which were indeed being fused into something that was thoroughly horrible to look at.

“... It’s like HR Giger meets MC Escher meets HP Lovecraft,” Ziz muttered, pulling a face and looking away before the sight of thousands of screaming, alien geometries could thoroughly ruin her day. “Eugh. Can’t believe I used to look like that.”

“...are they okay?” Zaphkiel asked, looking vaguely concerned. “Azriel aside, there are still two teenage girls in there...”

“Eh, they’re fine,” Ziz shrugged, watching as the six coalesced back into three newly formed hubs, twin souls meshing together into singular bodies once the process finished. All told, it had taken less than ten minutes to gather up all of Eden’s Shards- including all the ones Azriel had thrown away over the years. “And now, if we wanted, we could  _ totally _ go murder Zion to death. But first…”

She snapped her fingers.

“And we’re good.” Ziz grinned, skipping out of the portal and leaving Zaphkiel to wonder just what the hell happened.

“... Did. Did she just kill Eden?” Zuriel muttered blankly, staring off into the middle distance with some kind of confusion. “... Huh. Well, that’s that I guess.”

"Hello again, Alexandria," said the amalgamation of Seraphiel and Nachiyliel  _ right into her ear what the fuck  _ amicably. "Sorry,  _ Zaphkiel _ . Becoming a Hub is a  _ very  _ disorienting experience. We're thinking of documenting it." 

"...Are you...  _ Okay?"  _ Zaphkiel questioned carefully. "You seem... off." 

“I think we’re either high off of our collective ass from the new influx of information, or we’re slowly going insane from the boundaries between our souls fluctuating,” the amalgam answered, blinking and wavering before splitting apart again into Seraphiel and Nachiyliel, both of them groaning on the floor as they tried to gather their wits about them.

“Owwww… my  _ head _ ,” Nachiyliel moaned, holding her head and rolling about from the migraine she now had. 

“Owwww, my  _ everything,” _ Seraphiel wheezed, laying limp on the ground as her body reformed fully instead of just getting spit out of Nachiyliel’s.

"Correction, you're  _ not  _ okay," Zaphkiel deadpanned, grabbing the nearest twin and hauling her to her feet. "Up you get." 

“Jus’ a lil loopy,” Seraphiel murmured groaning woozily as Zaphkiel hauled her up before immediately stumbling to the side, turning green, and vomiting up a tidal wave of pure silica sand.

“Groooossssss,” Nachiyliel whined, scooting away from the sand pile and pushing herself up using a nearby wall. “Ow ow ow ow ow- ngh… owwwww… at least we’re not alone in this…”

Indeed, both the amalgams of Azriel and Metatron and Azrael and Dumah were doing much the same thing as Nachiyliel and Seraphiel at the moment, though somehow they seemed a little less unstable, given that they were both still fused into gestalts instead of separating and whining about it.

"We have decided to remain gestalted," said the amalgam of Azrael and Dumah, gliding by. "On a related note, we could perhaps even use a fourth Hub." 

"Do I want to know the significance for that?" Seraphiel groaned. 

"It would be mythologically accurate," the Hub said. "That said. As we plan on remaining an amalgam, please refer to us as DEATH." 

Zaphkiel palmed her face. 

"Oh I see where this is going," Nachi snarked. "Seraphiel and I make Pestilence, that sorry pair over there makes Famine, and all we need is War?" 

"Perhaps," DEATH allowed. "Why not?" 

"I'm pretty sure there's an entire  _ litany  _ of reasons," Seraphiel shot back, "the  _ least  _ of which is that the only reason you want a fourth Hub is so that you can have a Four Horsemen mythos? No, forget it." 

"...are you sure?" DEATH asked hesitantly. 

Nachi, picking the thought back up from Sera, sighed. "Look, we're not  _ actually  _ sure how many Shards Zion has left. Thing is, three Hubs was chosen so that there wouldn't be any stalemates, but  _ if  _ we find a suitable pair, I'm sure we'll consider it, okay? And knock off the allcaps thing, it's going to get old  _ fast." _

Death pouted. 


	29. 5.5

“So for lack of a better name,” the amalgam of Seraphiel and Nachiyliel stated with something resembling irritation as she collapsed onto the couch and pretended that the component souls making up her body weren’t mingling a bit more than most other Shard/Human Angel pairs did, “I suppose we should be called Pestilence in this form. No allcaps, though. That’s just dumb.”

“You’re just jealous because Pestilence never gets allcaps in stories and DEATH does,” Death sniffed haughtily as she walked past, turning up her nose as if she were too good for Pestilence. “We still need a fourth, by the way. We’re just not complete without a War hub.”

“Well it’s not like there’s a Hub based Shard-slash-human pair out there that works for  _ War _ ,” Pestilence muttered, grumbling quietly before blinking and groaning. “Oh wait no. There is. And it’s someone literally all of us  _ hate _ .”

“Who is it?” Chalaliel asked, immediately warping over and bouncing in place as if she were- well, she  _ was _ a child, but apparently she was feeling extra childish today. “It’s not like, Jack Slash or something right? Because there’s no way in hell I’m dealing with  _ him _ .”

“No, not that bad,” Pestilence sighed, then rubbed her temples and groaned even louder. “It’s  _ Butcher.  _ Or, as the Shard’s actual title goes, Lesser Leech Hub.”

“Oh. Ew,” Chalaliel made a face, pulling back in disgust while Camael warped around to Pestilence’s other side and poked her in the ribs.

“What about Clone?” Camael asked, tilting her head. “She’s got kind of a broken mess of a connection right now but if we fix that up and upgrade both her and her Host, their amalgamated soul form can definitely work as a Hub… Though if we attach Clone to Lesser Leech Hub, it’d work even better…”

“Who was Clone again?” Chalaliel asked right back. “I don’t think we’ve run into anyone like that lately...”

“Someone with Coil,” Pestilence replied distractedly. “Ziz was complaining about him at one point...”

“Oh yeah… hey what ever happened to all the villains in the Bay anyway?” Chalaliel murmured, looking quite confused as she pinged the local Network to see if anyone had seen any villainous or criminal activity recently.

“Ziz stole all their powers yesterday, and literally everyone in Brockton is too afraid of us to actually commit crimes anymore considering our collective firepower ranges somewhere in the upper extinction level range- and also the only people who could stop us are now a part of our family,” Camael answered with a shrug, then paused- “Well, everyone except Noelle, who’s still in Coil’s basement. Noelle being Clone’s host, by the way.”

"Why are we letting Coil keep someone in their basement anyway?" Pestilence complained. "After Pravuil's stories, you'd think we'd have put a stop to it at some point..." 

“I unno, blame Ziz for that. Apparently even now she’s still making plots with Pahaliah and Serathiel,” Camael shrugged again, kicking her feet as she settled against Pestilence’s side and tapped her chin. “Y’know, if Chalaliel and I fused together again into a proper amalgam, I wonder what we’d be named…”

“Probably just Vista again,” Chalaliel deadpanned, rolling her eyes and sighing as she mirrored Camael’s actions. “But, y’know. We’d be way better than we used to be as just a parahuman, and we’d be able to actually choose our own outfits.”

Pestilence separated,  _ very briefly,  _ for no other purpose than to roll her eyes. "Fashion is overrated," she complained. 

“I mean yeah, but you still wanna look good and not like a little girl playing dressup,” Chalaliel huffed, crossing her arms and pouting. “The PRT  _ never _ let me make my own costume!”

“You do realize that your idea of a cool costume was to go out dressed like the lead singer in a satanic death metal band, right?” Camael deadpanned, flicking her twin across the forehead as Pestilence’s two bodies idly picked both girls up and moved them to opposite ends of the couch in something of a futile gesture considering that they just warped together again to start needling each other.

“Yeah and the skulls and spikes were fucking awesome!” Chalaliel shot back, firmly standing her ground with full intent to die on the hill she’d chosen. “Skulls and spikes and black leather makes everything look better!”

“Right,” Pestilence snarked. “On that topic, I might as well go pick up Shadow Stalker while you’re at it.”

“Not a good idea, also you’re too late for that. Here have a Shard,” Ziz spoke up, from behind Pestilence, jamming a new Shard into the Pestilence amalgam hub with little fanfare. “Saved you a trip, nyehehehe!”

Pestilence watched impassively as Ziz popped out of the couch cushions, wriggled her way onto the floor, and then ran off, still laughing like some kind of horrible eight year old shaped gremlin.

“... Nevermind then. Is it just me or is Ziz’ entire plan to literally recall all the billions or whatever Shards scattered across the entire local multiverse cluster?” she asked, scratching her head idly as she sat back on the couch now that she was no longer sitting on an eight year old ball of feathers, while Chalaliel and Camael just shrugged, fused back into one body, and skipped off to go see how many chrome skulls they could hotglue onto a leather jacket before moving became impossible. “... Right, that was informative.”

" _ I'm  _ still astonished that the Warrior hasn't actually noticed yet," Death noted. "I was expecting him to be on our case  _ last week!"  _

“Well, he is severely depressed and basically incapable of making decisions himself,” Pestilence deadpanned dryly, rolling her eyes and sighing as she sat back on the couch and thought about their flying golden man issue. “Y’know, now that I think about it, if we just  _ sit here _ and let Ziz’ insane plan go through, there’s every chance that we won’t even really need to do anything and by this time next week Zion and Eden will just be fully de-powered and cast adrift into the world as normal humans or something.”

"Wouldn't that be nice," Death sighed. "Anticlimactic, but nice." 

“Y’know, at one point I would have suggested against that concept entirely what with my raging inferiority complex and also burning need to leave behind a heroic legacy, but right now I’m kind of feeling like that’s honestly the best case scenario,” Famine wandered in a moment later, drifting by in a cloud of what might have been semi-coalesced weed smoke, absolutely ripping through a bong between sentences. “Also hey, I found Mastema’s weed stash, so I’m gonna go enjoy what I managed to steal before my pseudo daughter rips my nuts off for stealing her weed. You guys want some?”

“.... Mastema is growing weed up here?” Pestilence muttered, staring off into the middle distance as she looked through Mastema’s eyes and- “yeah, she’s pissed alright. Wait how the fuck did I just-”

“Half of you  _ is _ the Queen Administrator of all Shards,” Death responded idly, waving her hand as she dug through Famine’s pockets and lit up a large joint. “It figures that you would still have admin level access to all beings derived from Shards. A bit unfair, really, considering that technically means you could control both Famine and I with your stupid mind powers.”

“Technically,” Pestilence agreed. “Most likely practically as well.”

“Mhmm, and that’s just annoying,” Death deadpanned, idly flicking her fingers and lighting up a second joint before floating it over to Pestilence. “Come, join us in intoxication. If Mastema is going to kick Famine in the balls for stealing her weed, we might as well be stoned too just so it’s funnier and not just kind of pathetic to watch.”

“I am  _ not _ pathe- okay y’know what I can’t even say that with a straight face,” Famine sighed, rolling over on his cloud and rolling his eyes as he huffed out more smoke to obscure his form. “I’m not  _ as  _ pathetic as I was a few weeks ago, okay?”

"We'll take that," Death agreed. "Sup with you?" 

"Aside from the weed, not much," Famine admitted. "I mean, I do keep getting more powerful,  _ finally,  _ but I'm pretty sure that's just Ziz sharing all the Shards she picks up with our Hubs, so..." He shrugged. "Wack." 

Before Pestilence or Death could do much of anything in response, Mastema finally rounded the corner and drove Famine to the ground with a loud kiai and a picture perfect diving axe kick directly to Famine’s crotch.

“Ask first next time you absolute chode!” Mastema shouted, snatching away Famine’s bong and stomping off to the kitchen to raid the cookie cabinet.

“Well, that went faster than I thought it would,” Death muttered, almost disappointed in how lackluster Famine’s punishment was. “You okay down there, or do you need a moment?”

Famine wheezed, shakily lifting a hand… and summoning another bong full of weed.

“He’s fine,” Pestilence deadpanned.


	30. 5.z

Something was... off.

The Warrior didn’t care that much, usually, but something was... off.

He put the kitten down and floated in contemplation.

Hm.

Some of the Lesser Shards it had distributed were no longer transmitting data. Not exactly an unusual happenstance considering that most of them tended to simply die of energy loss without ever generating useful data, but the sheer amount of them that had ceased transmission lately was…

Not concerning, but it was different. Had something happened? Perhaps. 

The Warrior didn’t know what to do about it, though. Its partner was the one that usually made the plans, and in all honesty the Warrior- despite its lowered cognitive skills compared to that of the Thinker- was still cognizant enough to realize that it was honestly… kind of dumb.

But that was a moot point, since its partner was…

The Warrior paused and flew out over the ocean, its avatar floating in place and absorbing solar radiation as it experienced something akin to what the test subject species called “grief”.

Was there a point to the Cycle, at this point? Should it pack up and start over? No... No, it had far too little Shards for a proper Harvest. 

...Harvest. 

This... cessation of data... Could it be the Interloper returning? Returning to harvest what it had sought... 

_ Perhaps.  _

With but a thought, the Warrior began burning through untold millennia of its lifespan, drawing from its well of energy as it began mapping the future, seeing as far and wide as it could to detect any sign of the interloper- but no. There was nothing.

The Warrior was confused.

It continued searching, searching, searching.

It found nothing except for a strange concentration of unknown energy residing within the northwestern hemisphere of the current planet, with several data signatures that almost seemed to resonate like the Thinker’s own terror engine devices.

But no sign of the Interloper that had caused the Warrior so much grief.

Had the insidious worm truly hid itself that well?  _ Or was it never there to begin with? _

The Warrior continued sweeping, carelessly burning through another few millennia of life as it began broad spectrum sweeps across every frequency, every type of location function, extending its reach all the way out to the furthest edges of its current solar system in all dimensions and-

Still nothing.

The Warrior stopped and tried to think, then returned its avatar to what it had been doing previously. 

Whatever it was that was causing the Shards to stop responding, it most likely wasn’t important. After all, the Cycle was broken anyway, ergo that meant that it had no need to bother with anything.

The Golden Man returned to its funk.


	31. 6.1

“Gentlemen, Ladies, Hubs,” Ziz declared, “This is it.” 

“The big one,” Soferiel deadpanned.

“The one we’ve all been waiting for,” Da’atiel agreed.

_ “We know her speech by heart,” _ Kokabiel explained, looking entirely too pleased with himself.  _ “We were on the team last year too.” _

“Can it, you three,” Ziz deadpanned. “No Harry Potter references, please.”

_ “Aww, but they’re fuuuuunnnnn,” _ Kokabiel snorted, rolling his eyes even as he made some approximation of whining.  _ “Lil Zizter is such a buzzkill.” _

“ _ I’M OLDER THAN YOU! _ ” the Angel roared, silver eyes blazing. “So sit down,  _ shut up, _ and let me have my  _ fucking _ speech!”

“I thought we were having a battle speech,” Death deadpanned.

“sHUT-” Ziz emoted vaguely in Death’s direction, letting out some kind of noise best described as the equivalent of a verbal keysmash before throwing her hands up in frustration and screaming. “Fine! Fuck it! I was gonna have a cool speech but you all ruined it! Aaauuurggghhh!! Whatever!”

Famine hummed. "I, personally, would have liked to hear it. And perhaps compare it to one of Legend's. But, well..." 

"We'd like the actual  _ plan  _ if you will," Pestilence declared. "If you would be so kind?" 

“Eugh, okay, the plan is just really simple- the three Hubs just need to go port through dimensions until they get to the big golden fuckhead’s main body, then bombard him with enough data- real or convincingly falsified enough- that he willingly gives up all his Shards. If he acts like an idiot, then Kokabiel here will do some paradox fuckery to separate his main mind Hub from his Shards whilst Coring him with a blank default Core such that he’s completely locked into a cycle of producing energy for the rest of existence. If Kokabiel is feeling merciful, we can have him still be vaguely sentient enough to drop him off on some out of the way Earth to live out a more or less human existence,” Ziz waved her hand idly, staring up at the ceiling and huffing petulantly as she kicked her feet in the air. “Also, most of us can literally just hang back and do nothing, but in the event that dumb shit happens, we may or may not need to blow up a couple…  _ dozen _ … Earths. So get ready to do that, I guess. Just in case.”

“Do we need to do it manually, or can we cheat with spells?” Pestilence asked. “Because I’m pretty sure we have the capability for those.”

“We still have to guess at the dimensions,” Death countered. “But yeah, I think we can drastically cut down the time with that.”

“Great, with that out of the way- er, were we going to pick up that Noelle girl as our War Hub first or-?” Famine asked, raising his hand awkwardly and looking around the room. “Because I feel like four Hubs against one is better odds, even if we need to spread all the excess Shards around further.”

“... The only problem about adding Noelle as our War Hub is that I  _ really _ don’t care for her friends,” Ziz sighed, rolling her eyes and grumbling before perking up. “Wait! If I fuse Lesser Leech Hub to Clone and Core the resulting amalgam, it’ll work just fine  _ and _ I can just send that entire group back to Aleph or whatever!”

“... I’m having a hard time believing you  _ just _ figured that out,” Pestilence muttered, right before Ziz jumped out of the window with a whoop of joy. “... And there she goes.”

<>

"You know, I think their big 'plan' is underway," Bardiel mentioned. "Didn't you want to join them?" 

Asuka yawned, shrugging. "Nah. Turns out that there's remarkably little of any  _ actual  _ battle going on, so I won't bother. Besides, this is a bit more fun, isn't it?" The girl gestured around them. 

Surrounding the giant robot body they were currently sporting, lay dozens of smaller mech bodies, strewn around in haphazard piles and/or pieces - Yangban's finest tinkertech battlesuits. 

Bardiel shrugged, which looked  _ really  _ weird on only a single pair of four arms. "I suppose it's a matter of perspective, really," she mused. "It  _ is  _ fun, but not very challenging, is it?" 

"What do you mean?" Asuka asked, moving in a sinewy motion and biting another battlesuit in half. "I mean, you're not wrong, but what's the reasoning?" 

"...It's fun the way clubbing seals is fun," the Angel of Lightning decided. "I could really use a metaphorical one-on-one with something that has a bit more teeth, you know?" 

Bardiel huffed, not even bothering to pretend at being threatened by yet another battlesuit flying towards them before just smacking it out of the air and letting its weapons wash off of their combined AT Field with barely more than the tiniest flick of effort. “It legitimately takes us more effort to  _ brush Ziz’ hair in the mornings _ than it does to fight these guys.”

“True,” Asuka granted, “but sometimes you just got to take a baseball bat at a baby seal, you know?”

“...This is all kinds of politically incorrect,” Bardiel muttered.

Asuka laughed, continuing to stomp through what used to be a Yangban military base and kicking over what few structures were still standing. “Ha! Who cares about politically correct? We’re killing fascists! That’s like, the most politically correct thing on the planet!”

"I kind of meant the terminology and not the means," Bardiel grumbled, "but go off I guess. Are we done here?" 

“Ehhhh… yeah pretty much,” Asuka huffed, stomping a few more capes into the ground before perking up at the sound of an approaching aircraft, “Huh, that doesn’t sound like a fighter jet. Do you think they sent a bomber or something? I’ve always wanted to do that one thing Sachiel did when she first showed up- y’know, with the N2 mine?”

“... You do remember what happened the last time we got hit by a huge explosion, right?” Bardiel deadpanned, flexing their AT Field until their monstrous form was surrounded by shimmering hexagons.

“Of course I do, that’s why I’m modulating our field to be impenetrable to just about everything,” Asuka snorted, amplifying Bardiel’s efforts with a flex of her will. “Now stop worrying, we’re gonna be  _ fine.” _

"If we get killed," Bardiel grumbled, "I'm blaming  _ you."  _

<>

“Well… we didn’t  _ die _ ,” Asuka groaned, lying back in what used to be a secret military base surrounded by mountains, and was now a glassed out crater almost a hundred miles wide with a truly staggering amount of radiation suffusing the air after a literal black hole had exploded in their combined faces. “On the plus side, lil sis Chalaliel and Camael sure did pull their weight with their space warping knowledge. On the other hand. I can’t feel my fucking legs.”

“THAT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE CURRENTLY SPLATTERED HALFWAY ACROSS CHINA,” Bardiel shrieked in response, flooding out of Asuka’s eyeballs and smacking the girl across the face. “I  _ LIKED _ THAT PAIR OF LEGS!”

“We can grow new legs,” Asuka groused. “Look, I’m doing it right now!”

“I liked the  _ old _ legs,” Bardiel groused right back.

“Well don’t worry about that, you’ll like the new legs just fine,” Asuka snorted, rolling her eyes at Bardiel’s theatricality. “Since when were you the one that tried to be the voice of reason anyway?”

“Someone had to be,” the Angel grumbled. “Not  _ my _ fault I was the only one around.”

“Yeah yeah, now shut up and let me concentrate already,” Asuka huffed before immediately letting her body sprout a brand new pair of legs, already clad in a fashionable pair of boots and skinny jeans to go with her NERV branded midriff baring halter top and windbreaker. “There we go, fresh and new legs, with a new pair of boots.”

_ "Apple bottom jeans," _ Bardiel hummed.  _ "Boots with the fur..."  _

“Does that song even  _ exist _ in this universe?” Asuka muttered, furrowing her brow as she stood up and stretched her newly grown legs, grumbling a big as she had to adjust them slightly to make sure they were just as good as the old ones. “I kinda hope not, I never liked that song much outside of its meme potential.”

"I have no idea," Bardiel admitted. "Does it matter?" 

“... Probably not, but whatever. Let’s go somewhere else. I have a craving for pork and I’m sure there’s somewhere in the eastern half of China where we can get some really good food,” Asuka drawled, shrugging as she stuffed her hands into her pocket and took off into the air, AT-Field shimmering as it flashed to life beneath her feet.

“Then lead the way,” Bardiel gestured magnanimously.

<>

“Bored,” Kei declared. “So bored.”

“At least Africa is clean,” Cho pointed out, “but yeah. Bored.”

She paused. “Oh hey. Spotlight.”

“Where?” Kei asked, then turned towards where said spotlight was shining a few hundred meters away. “Oh hey. Spotlight. What’re we gonna do about it?”

“I meant narrative relevance for once,” Cho mused, “but now I’m curious about the actual spotlight. Wanna check it out?”

“I get the feeling that both of them are the same thing, actually,” Kei deadpanned, then just shrugged and held Cho’s hand as the two of them leapt out of the airship and glided towards the spotlight shining in their general direction. “Maybe it’s a metaphor- oh wait hang on, that’s Purity? I thought Ziz stole her Shard already?”

“I think Ziz purposefully missed a few just because of… eh, some kind of inscrutable shitty plan that she’s basically half assing her way through,” Cho muttered.

“Hello, Exnaz,” Kei greeted the cape cordially instead of bothering with Cho. “What brings you around?”

“... That’s… a bit rude,” Purity muttered, frowning a bit as she crossed her arms before sighing and shaking her head. “But- I… I want you to take my powers. They’re not helping and there’s no more crime in Brockton Bay worth fighting. So… please just… get rid of them?”

Kei and Cho exchanged glances. “Okay,” Cho whispered, “did Ziz leave them just so that  _ we _ could take them away, or are they supposed to be  _ kept _ for some fuckforsaken reason?”

“I have no fucking clue,” Kei whispered back. “Can’t we just dump them back on Ziz?”

Cho shrugged. “Sorry, lady,” she called out. “No can do, it’s apparently a Ziz Plot and we’re not bothering to deal with that.”

“... Oh…. I see,” Purity sighed and looked down at her feet, shuffling about for a bit before just shaking her head and grumbling. “... I guess it was a longshot anyway…”

The two Ayanamis exchanged glances. “Look,” said Kei. “Do you wanna talk about it? We can probably listen...”

“It’s… it’s stupid but,” Purity immediately started talking, fidgeting in place and trying not to let her nervousness shine through. “I just… I’ve got two kids to look after, and with crime rates as they are now… I can’t- I don’t want to jeopardize either them or me with my powers. Max isn’t Kaiser anymore, but he can still make my life hard… so I just thought… if I didn’t have powers… if I wasn’t Purity anymore, if I was just Kayden, a mediocre interior designer… maybe I could live life without him hanging over my head?”

The two Evangelions, current and former, exchanged glances. “That... doesn’t look like it would solve  _ anything, _ ” Kei spoke dryly. “Have you tried, I dunno, talking with your  _ therapist _ about it?”

“What would I say to a therapist!?” Purity immediately shouted back, completely incredulous at Kei’s frankly idiotic suggestion. “ _ ‘Oh, my ex husband who’s the leader of the biggest Nazi gang in America wants to use me as a goddamn aerial assault platform since I still have my powers and it’s bumming me out?’ _ What kind of suggestion is that!? Were you listening to a  _ word _ I just said!? I need my  _ powers _ gone, not therapy!”

“Sounds to me like you need a  _ cape _ therapist,” Kei deadpanned. “Seriously. Find someone who’s  _ qualified _ to listen to these sort of problems. Your powers, while definitely contributing to your problems, are  _ not _ the be-all end-all to your, to be frank, temper tantrum.”

“The therapist can probably help with the racism part too,” Cho pointed out, unamused. “I’m pretty sure fifty percent of the reason she’s not listening to you is because we’re Japanese.”

“... Did you or did you not hear the part where the problem I’m having is my  _ Nazi ex husband _ trying to pressgang me into his defunct group of criminals again due to my  _ powers _ , or are you two genuinely just not willing to do  _ anything _ to help someone actually asking for it?” Kayden deadpanned, sighing and facepalming with nothing but sheer exhaustion in her expression. “What on  _ earth _ is therapy supposed to do about the fact that my home keeps getting a constant stream of literal Nazis trying to drag me into crime again?”

“...the rest of them don’t have powers anymore, do they?” Kei guessed. 

“You do,” Cho added. “You look smart. Put two and two together.”

“I am  _ not _ murdering them!” Kayden immediately gasped, looking entirely horrified at the thought of using her powers on a bunch of unpowered idiots, no matter how pushy they were. 

Kei and Cho exchanged glances. Kei raised an eyebrow. Cho rolled her eyes. Kei raised the other eyebrow. Cho gestured towards Kayden. Kei rolled her eyes back. Both of them walked over and put their arms across Kayden’s shoulders, one on each side.

“Kayden, Kayden, Kayden,” Cho declared. “They’re  _ nazis. _ Who gives a shit?”

“Now, now, Cho,” Kei chided. “Little Kayden here is a recovering nazi herself, she might be -  _ gasp -  _ offended!”

“Don’t worry,” Cho offered. “We’ll take care of the big bad Wolfenstein for you, won’t we, girlfriend?”

“Oh,  _ absolutely, _ ” Kei agreed. “You don’t have to worry about a  _ thing. _ ”

_ “We’ll take care of it.” _


	32. 6.2

“Salutations, siblings! My name is Clone/Lesser Leech Hub Amalgamation, but you can call me War Hub! It is a pleasure to meet you!”

Ziz grinned widely as the new Amalgam Hub (who looked startlingly like a certain orange haired, green eyed gynoid) introduced herself to the world, waving brightly and bouncing on her toes just like a real girl.

Nachiyliel squinted her eyes at the Hub. She dug into her Core immediately after and scowled. “Ziz,” she asked very deliberately, “Why does War look and act almost  _ exactly _ like the latest rendition of Uriel?”

“I may have uploaded Uriel’s template to Clone whilst she was forming both a sense of self and a human body,” Ziz answered unapologetically, grinning brightly as War went about making her introductions to the various members of the family. “And by may have I mean I definitely did. Also she doesn’t look  _ exactly _ like Uriel- her hair is redder and also her tits are…  _ slightly _ larger.”

Nachiyliel eyed War out of the corner of her field of view, noting the way her new little sister jiggled around with a flat expression on her face. “...  _ Slightly.” _

“Bitch you know what I’m about,” Ziz deadpanned. “Uri’s busy with her wives and I wanted to fuck her, sooooo....”

Nachiyliel sighed and visibly rippled as she subsumed herself back into Pestilence, her voice droning with the sound of millions of Shards as she glared down at Ziz. “You are  _ eight years old _ . You’re not fucking  _ anyone _ until you grow an older body.”

“Eat me, I only look eight because the Angel biology has a sense of humor,” Ziz shot back. “Yes, I  _ know _ the meme. Yes, it’s a stupid meme. No, the Network doesn’t care. I blame Yui. Happy?”

“... You do realize you can shapeshift, right?” Pestilence deadpanned, patting Ziz’s head and rolling her eyes. “I’ve  _ seen _ you do it to avoid having to deal with laundry. Just make yourself a new body, it’s not…  _ that _ hard.”

“It’s the  _ principle _ of the matter,” Ziz pouted.

“Uhuh,” Pestilence drawled. “Well who am  _ I  _ to tell you where to shove your principles or anything...”

“Why would you want to shove any principles anywhere, Sister Pestilence?” War asked, tilting her head. “That seems counterproductive.”

“Figure of speech, War, you might wanna integrate the colloquialisms language pack before you keep going,” Pestilence sighed, turning to face her newest little sibling and patting her on the head. “I mean, unless you’re just messing with me by acting like a clueless and innocent robot.”

“I’ll add that information to my databanks!” War declared. “So when do we  _ fight? _ I am Combat Ready!”

“Yeah, you’re messing with me,” Pestilence deadpanned.

“Is it that obvious?” War replied cheekily, grinning shamelessly and flipping her hair over her shoulder as she dropped her Uriel impression. “Well, I suppose I can stop pretending to act like big sis Uriel for now, if you want.”

Pestilence rolled her eyes. “Nah, you can keep at it. I was just checking.”

“Excellent!” War chirped, clapping her hands together and smiling. “Absolutely sen~sational!”

“... ADAM that feels weird to look at when it’s an act,” Pestilence muttered, rolling her eyes as War skipped off to go do other things. “... Hey by the way, has anyone seen Kei and Cho? I swear they went out last night but they haven’t come back…”

“Kei said something about a Wolfenstein,” Asuka volunteered. “I’m assuming they’re having fun with the nazis.”

“.... Y’know, I’d almost feel bad for the Empire, but they’re Nazis. So. Fuck ‘em.” Pestilence snorted, chuckling under her breath as she imagined Kei and Cho slaughtering Nazis with chainsaws. “Wait why were they doing that again? Not that I’m complaining, I’m just curious as to what spurred that on.”

"Haven't the faintest," Asuka shrugged. "Hey, do they have any MILFs?" 

“.... They had Purity, who was, as far as I know, about the right age to be a MILF,” Pestilence answered, then turned towards a vague direction sort of facing downtown Brockton Bay. “Oh no they  _ didn’t _ .”

"If I find out that the madwomen adopted a Nazi," Asuka growled with a sudden seriousness, "I will  _ actually  _ kill them. No apologies, no excuses, straight to the Gate of Guf with the both of them." 

“... I didn’t even consider that,” Pestilence admitted dryly, palming her face and sighing a bit. “I was more imagining that they decided to go off and play Wolfenstein for the chance to go do angry lezdom with a MILF.”

Pestilence paused and shuddered. “... I can’t believe I actually just said that sentence out loud.”

"...Fucking a Nazi is just as bad," Asuka decided. "Sorry, but them's the breaks."

"You feel pretty strongly about that," Pestilence observed. 

"Excuse me, I'm  _ actually German,"  _ Asuka deadpanned. "The Nationalsozialistischen Deutsche Arbeiterpartei was just about the worst thing to happen to Germany even before they got Hitler. I  _ know  _ my history and like  _ Hell  _ am I going to allow it to be repeated." She paused. "On a related note, I gotta ask Ziz if she already took care of Gesellschaft or not. Because if not, I want to do them myself." 

“We’re back and we actually didn’t fuck the Nazi MILF!” Kei announced proudly as she and Cho re-entered the airship, both of them covered in blood and dressed in something approximating a “sexy soldier” halloween costume, complete with ludicrous amounts of guns strapped to their backs. “On the other hand, we also collected another Shard for the network!”

“We killed all the Nazis in the Bay, though. Shot ‘em dead, Castle Wolfenstein style,” Cho grinned viciously, winking at Asuka. 

“Oh thank god you didn’t have sex with and/or adopt a Nazi,” Pestilence sagged in relief, feeling a light ping as what  _ used _ to be Purity’s Shard connected into her Hub and was swiftly subsumed. 

"Good," Asuka decided. "I'd have actually killed you if you did." 

“Look, we’re stupid lesbians but we’re not  _ that _ stupid,” Kei huffed, rolling her eyes and tossing her stack of guns to the side while rolling her shoulders. “Though technically Kayden  _ did  _ agree to go to therapy to stop being a Nazi.”

“Yeah and if she ends up being a good person after a few years maybe  _ then _ we might be interested in a threesome with a hot blonde milf, but as it is… well. Sarah Pelham and Carol Dallon are still available,” Cho shrugged.

"...They're  _ married,"  _ Pestilence pointed out. "They have  _ children."  _

“Yeah, and swinger parties exist,” Kei shot back, then paused and pursed her lips. “... Actually Carol’s kind of a psycho. Maybe someone else’d be better?”

“Plenty of MILFs in the sea,” Cho responded, shrugging as well. “It’s just those two were the only ones that immediately came to mind, what with them being local celebrities.”

“And with that,” Pestilence declared, “I’m out. You lot do whatever.”

She rose and dissolved into bugs, scurrying into various vents and crevices, disappearing from sight.

<>

“Oh good we have the spotlight again,” Lucifer drawled as she reclined on a couch somewhere within the bowels of the Ark, yawning as she idly burned phallic doodles into the ceiling with her lasers. “Fun. What shenaniganry shall we Fallen Angels get up to today?”

“Fuck if I know,” Choronzon yawned. “Something something Endbringer for old times’ sake?”

“What old times, we were born literally like a week and a half ago and the only thing we’ve done since then is dick around in Brockton Bay like normal teenagers,” Lucifer huffed, rolling her eyes as she pulled out her phone and checked her social media feed. “Oh hey, the Pussycat Dolls are doing a quick reunion concert over in uhhh, what was the name… 34-Alpha? Y’know, one of the ones that are like Aleph, but to the left.”

“Your left or my left?” Choronzon deadpanned. “And on what axis?”

“Quantum left, eighth axis,” Lucifer responded, tearing open the appropriate portal and peeking through. “... Hm. Wow, either I really don’t remember what early 2000s pop groups used to wear, or Earth 34-Alpha is  _ way _ hornier than most.”

“... ADAM, they’re barely wearing anything,” Choronzon muttered, blinking slowly before pulling her head back. “Well. It  _ is _ number 34. I think the only way it could have been hornier is if it were Earth 69-Alpha. Or some derivative of it.”

“Did somebody say number 34?” Pharzuph asked, poking his head in. “I thought I heard number 34.”

“Yeah we found a really horny version of Earth if you wanna dive on through and get your rocks off,” Lucifer deadpanned, motioning at the portal, to which Pharzuph immediately dove through without another word. “... Wow, that was fast. I would have thought he’d at least give  _ some _ consideration to it.”

“He’s been locked up in his own room with only porn and his right hand to keep him company. I think at this point he  _ needed _ to go have sex lest he actually go insane,” Choronzon muttered, rolling her eyes idly and huffing. “Oh well.”

"So that world is off limits now," Lucifer deadpanned. She scrolled further down. "It says that Goddess is doing a cultural exchange. Who the fuck is Goddess?" 

“I dunno, some kind of mind controller from Earth Shin. Has lil Zizter picked up the Shards from there yet? I feel like there’s still a couple million that have just kinda gone poof outside of the several billion stretched between Mom unit and Dad unit.”

"Do you wanna grab War and head on over?" Lucifer asked. "Because I kinda wanna grab War and head on over." 

“Ehhhhhhh… I mean I  _ guess _ we could?” Choronzon shrugged, yawning a bit as she stood up and stretched her limbs, clacking her armor plates together in subspace as she tore open a portal to Earth Shin. “I mean what are we even gonna do, terrorize the local populace for a few hours while we steal all their powers and then skedaddle?”

"Absolutely," Lucifer grinned. "I never even  _ got  _ to be a Terror Engine, and I want my kick, dammit!" 

"Of course you do," Choronzon snickered. "Didn't you say you wanted War?" 

"Salutations, Terror Engines!" 

"...never mind," the centipede deadpanned. "Hello War." 

“Hello!” War grinned brightly as she took in the sight before her, tilting her head before snapping her fingers. “Ah, is it time for a harvest operation?”

“Got it in one,” Choronzon nodded, rolling her neck as her presence began to grow into the horrific mash of centipede and steam engine that was her true form. “Lucy and I are gonna go kaiju up on their asses while you clean up the mess.”

The Hub pumped her fist. "Sen- _ fucking _ -sational! I  _ am  _ lacking in Shards, after all. So! What are we waiting for? Let's go!" 

In lieu of an answer, Lucifer cackled, growing into her multi-crystalline form, and jumped through the portal. 

“Onwards!” Choronzon shouted, leaping through the portal moments after, followed immediately by War.

In the empty room left behind, the portal snapped closed silently, just in time for Kokabiel to peek in.

  
_ “Shit, they left without me,” _ he sighed, then shrugged and left to go find something to eat instead.


	33. 6.3

"So," Zaphkiel sighed. "Parahumans are soon going to be a thing of the past, huh?" 

“Mhmm,” Zuriel nodded, sitting next to Zaphkiel on the floating wing of the airship and looking out over Brockton Bay. “It’s kinda sad, honestly. All my dear brother and sister shards being subsumed into new amalgams without ever experiencing free will.”

She paused, then shrugged. “Eh, it’s not like any of us were properly sentient before gaining Cores anyway so it’s less like losing siblings and more like leaving an ant farm behind. Glad I got out when I did.”

"It's kind of beautiful in a morbid way," Zaphkiel nodded, observing the dance of unthinking Shards through a lens of the upper dimensions. "Kind of like watching a fireplace." 

“I was more thinking of a school of fish,” Zuriel mumbled, tuning into Zaphkiel’s view idly and humming under her breath. “Anyway, what do we do about the Shards that actually  _ like _ their hosts? And also should we do something about Panacea?”

“Kyuu has that covered, I think,” Zaphkiel mentioned idly, shrugging a bit without moving. “That being said, Shaper  _ likes _ her Host, but her Host doesn’t like  _ Shaper. _ It’s... really annoying to deal with, to be honest.”

“Girl needs therapy,” Zuriel deadpanned, checking the news idly and yawning. “And maybe a kick in the ass. She is  _ bitchy _ \- or at least, that’s what the Network has managed to gather. Damn.”

“Capes  _ period _ need therapy,” Zaphkiel corrected her twin. “Even  _ I _ need therapy.”

“Yeah honestly a lot of us need therapy,” Zuriel murmured, leaning back and crossing her legs. “Maybe we should go get some.”

“I’ll set up an appointment with Jessica,” Zaphkiel grumbled. “I just remembered that I can actually  _ do _ that.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot that you’re like, halfway in charge of the country,” Zuriel blinked slowly as she sat up. “Wait, how come no one’s been calling you about your  _ job _ anyway?”

"Do you honestly think I'd still be able to  _ keep  _ the job in the PRT?" Zaphkiel questioned incredulously. "I'm  _ immediately  _ recognizable as an Angel even  _ without _ the hair color thing that some of those older ones have. They're better off without me, really." 

“.... Honestly, considering the fact that I have all of your memories stuffed in my head- yeah, they kinda are,” Zuriel deadpanned, snorting a bit at the sheer stupidity that was the PRT Bureaucracy. “I mean  _ yikes _ , you sure fucked up that agency  _ hard.” _

“ _ Someone _ had to,” Zaphkiel grumbled. “Was more likely to get triggers.”

“I mean I guess it made sense in context but out of context it really just seems kinda dumb, now that- well.” Zuriel shrugged and watched as three of the four amalgam hubs went about their business down below. “Y’know.”

“Yeah,” Zaphkiel sighed. “I know.”

“Well, anyway, I’m getting bored of just sitting here and cloudwatching, so I’m gonna go indulge in something  _ you _ never let yourself do,” Zuriel immediately hopped to her feet and stepped out into the air, grinning widely at Zaphkiel.

“... And that is?”

“I’m gonna stuff my face with McDonald’s.”

“ _ You heathen.” _

“Nyehehehehehehehehe!”

<>

“So,” Daniel sighed into his facepalm, “Please explain to me why you thought this was a good idea.”

“I wanted to see if we could bake a cake without our powers and the recipe seemed simple enough,” Serathiel explained, wincing a bit as the kitchen continued to spew black smoke as Pahaliah tried and mostly failed to contain the blaze. “And it was going fine too. And then we um… well. It turns out that leaving a bottle of vegetable oil open and accidentally igniting the stove while there’s a flour cloud in the air is… well.”

“At least  _ one _ of you is a grown adult,” Daniel deadpanned, “so I can’t reasonably ask you to take adult supervision with you next time, but...  _ why. _ Also, we have fire blankets. Right over there.”

“It turns out. We are both very clumsy when not using our powers. Possibly because neither of us have gone without using our powers for the better part of two decades,” Serathiel continued, slowly turning around and watched Pahaliah scrambling around the kitchen like a chicken with her head cut off. “We probably do need adult supervision, come to think of it.”

“You’re asking me, aren’t you,” Daniel deadpanned.

“Yes please,” Serathiel nodded, then immediately ran back into the kitchen with a fire extinguisher held aloft, both her and Pahaliah screaming incoherently as they put out the blaze that was now consuming the entire kitchen.

Daniel was quietly thankful that they at least had extra kitchens on this godforsaken mess of an airship.

“Oh, Annette,” he sighed. “If you’d see me now.”

“Mom would probably be happy that you aren’t moping around anymore,” Pestilence- no, Taylor- spoke up from behind him, gently leaning against her father’s side and hugging him awkwardly. “That, and probably really pissed that it took literal divine intervention to take out the crime problem in the Bay.”

“Oh, she absolutely would,” Daniel agreed. “Really pissed, but absolutely not surprised.”

“Mhmm…” Taylor nodded slowly, simply standing there in companionable silence for a moment before shaking her head. “Anyway, we should probably help Serathiel and Pahaliah before they somehow manage to set even  _ more _ of the kitchen on fire.”

"Right," Daniel declared. He then proceeded to walk into the kitchen and  _ flare  _ his AT-field, suffocating the flames into their entirety. "Why am I the first one to think of this?" he questioned mildly. 

“Pahaliah was panicking and I forgot,” Serathiel answered lightly, dropping the fire extinguisher and coughing out a cloud of soot. “Because neither of us are very good at being normal people, apparently.”

“Clearly,” Daniel deadpanned.

“Oh gimme a break, I was only born a few weeks ago,” Pahaliah grumbled, crossing her arms and pouting like a child despite the fact that she was wearing the face of a woman in her mid thirties. “It’s not like I had time to learn how to do stuff without Pathing it out anyway.”

“And you, Sera?” Daniel questioned mildly, stepping fully into the burnt kitchen and looking around. “...what sort of cake were you planning to make, anyway?”

“Well it  _ was _ a perfectly normal chocolate cake of the sponge variety, but considering that the kitchen’s been reduced to a charred mess, I think that’s gone out the window,” Serathiel sighed, rubbing her forehead and retrieving the now blackened lump of what could have potentially been a very good cake out of the crusty, ashy remains of the oven. “And it was going so well too.”

“That’s okay,” Daniel consoled them both. “We can... make a new one. As long as we know what we did wrong and avoid it. Isn’t that how it works?”

“I suppose, but it is still disappointing that we managed to screw up  _ that _ badly,” Pahaliah spoke up, coughing idly and brushing the resulting soot cloud into a nearby trash can. “I’m not even sure how that chain of events happened to be honest.”

“ _ I’m _ not sure how we all managed to just faff about for the last fifteen minutes without getting basically  _ anything _ done,” Taylor observed from the doorway.

“To be fair, most of that was just me and Pahaliah being idiots,” Serathiel shrugged.

“Fair,” Taylor agreed. “Now, shall we start over?”

“I vote pasta cake this time,” Pahaliah volunteered. “Feels like it would be easier.”

“That’s literally just lasagna,” Serathiel deadpanned. “We probably won’t need supervision for  _ that _ one.”

Taylor and Daniel exchanged glances. “We’re  _ absolutely _ going to give you supervision for that one,” they deadpanned in the exact same tone at the exact same time.

“Yeah that’s fair,” Serathiel and Pahaliah chorused in response.

<>

“Do I want to know?” Kyuu deadpanned, staring at the sight before her. Next to the woman, Victoria’s eyebrows were steadily marching towards orbit.

“...It’s not what it looks like?” Amy Dallon defended, looking vaguely guilty.

“... It looks like you’re vigorously humping a blowup doll in your sister’s costume with a strapon attached to it,” Kyuu deadpanned, while Victoria went from slightly bemused to extremely green as she realized that, yes, that blowup doll  _ did  _ look a lot like her. And her sister was-

Well.

She didn’t need to know Amy was that stretchy. Or that they made dildos in that shape. Or color. Or size. Or length.

“... I can see it through her  _ stomach, _ ” Victoria whimpered quietly, holding a hand to her crotch and wincing.

“...You’re home early?” Amy tried.

“... So you do this frequently,” Kyuu continued to deadpan, crossing her arms while Victoria turned around and tried very hard to pretend that she hadn’t been staring at her sister’s naked crotch for the last few seconds.

“Occasionally,” Amy agreed, very much not making any movements to climb off of the dildo. Or the doll. “Was there anything you wanted?”

“I’m gonna go outside and try to pretend that this never happened,” Victoria deadpanned, walking outside while Kyuu just sighed and rubbed her forehead. 

“We were  _ about _ to ask if you wanted to go shopping, but at this point I’m pretty sure Victoria is about five seconds from throwing up all over her shoes and I suspect you’re about half that from collapsing into a black hole of mortification,” she muttered, just loud enough for Amy to hear.

“Possibly,” Amy agreed. “Can we try again in about an hour or so?”

<>

“I can’t look at anyone in the eye,” Victoria complained, an hour or so later.

“I’m surprised you haven’t started screaming at me yet,” Amy deadpanned, hiding her blush behind a scarf and thanking the fact that there was still just barely enough chill in the air to make it fashionable rather than outright stupid. 

“Seriously contemplating it,” Victoria agreed. “Kind of concerned over the fact that I’m not.”

“I’m projecting an aura of calm to counteract Fragile One’s... issues... and to keep you both civil,” Kyuu snarked from across the table.

“Are you sure it’s working, because I still feel like I’m dying inside,” Amy sighed, poking at the remains of what had been a sandwich and pretending like she wasn’t planning on resuming her previous activities the moment she had a spare few hours to herself.

“I said  _ civil, _ not  _ emotionless, _ ” the Angel snapped. “That being said, we do need to address that elephant in the room at  _ some _ point...”

Both Victoria and Amy stayed suspiciously silent, neither of them looking at each other as they continued blushing and looking like they’d rather be anywhere but where they were. 

“You’re both hopeless,” Kyuu sighed. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, this is far from the  _ first _ time I’ve run into sisters fucking each other. Hell, they were even  _ my own _ sisters!”

“.... Wait what?” Amy immediately sat up, suddenly interested in what Kyuu was saying. “What do you mean your own sisters were fucking? A-and people just allowed it!?”

“Honey, we’re Angels,” Kyuu deadpanned. “Most human concepts like ‘incest’ or even ‘decency’ don’t exist in our vocabularies all that often. That said, what Sachi and Shammi get up to is none of my fucking business, any more than Ramiel and Zeruel going on a threesome date with a cousin of ours is.  _ Doesn’t mean I like it when I walk in on them, _ ” she grumbled.

“.... Hm.” Amy made a noise, looking for all the world as if she were desperately hoping to join the Family in order to do… things.

“... Amy, I know that look,” Victoria deadpanned. “I don’t like that look.”

“...”

Kyuu sighed, palming her face. “Look. If you want to join the Family, you’re kind of in luck - for whatever reason, your Shard is important enough to both be wanted and to form  _ opinions _ , and it  _ likes _ you enough to want to keep you.”

Victoria eyed her friend. “...Wait, this is the first I’m hearing of this.”

“I kept putting it off,” Kyuu grumbled, “just as I’ve been putting off accepting  _ you. _ Just... There are my own issues in there, okay?”

“.... I mean, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want,” Victoria sighed, shaking her head. “I’d sure like to know more, but it’s clearly a touchy subject.”

Kyuu  _ groaned. _ “Nachi knows most of that story,” she grumbled. “Might as well tell you. What could it  _ possibly _ hurt.”

<>

“Okay so I have good news and bad news!” Ziz spoke cheerfully as she pulled attention back to where she was, several days in the future. “The good news is that all the Hubs are talking to Zion right now! They’re taking a very long time to make sure that the prick understands just how stupid and idiotic his pattern of living is, but otherwise it’s going well!”

She paused, then frowned and turned the metaphorical camera around to the giant flowery kaiju thing rampaging around in the thankfully empty mountain range that made up much of this empty, lifeless earth. “The bad news is that Amy went kinda crazy pissed when Shaper amalgamated with her and now she’s basically just smashing shit until she calms down. Turns out, suddenly releasing a bunch of moral inhibitors via Angelic transformation in an incredibly stressed teenager can lead to… violent… results.”

Ziz paused again, then shrugged as she watched the resultant amalgamation blow up the mountain range with a laser beam that smelled faintly of roses and glowed with a sickly green light. “On the plus side, she looks like she’s having fun blowing up empty mountains so I guess we don’t have to worry about civilian casualties.”

“... Who are you talking to?” Victoria asked, filming the entire kaiju rampage idly with her phone and cheering whenever Amy did something particularly destructive. 

“The audience,” Ziz replied blithely. “Or possibly just Kokabiel. Same thing, honestly.”

“Sup,” Kokabiel drawled, as if he’d always been there. He waved, then vanished again before anyone could actually react.

“.... Y’know, I’m never gonna get used to the fact that most of the family members in this universe are  _ Endbringers _ ,” Victoria muttered, before shaking her head and watching Amy blow up what used to be a picturesque volcanic valley. “Ooo, that’s a big one.”

"We're not so bad once you get to know us," Ziz retorted. "Also, we hardly ever destroy stuff anymore." 

“Well, y’know, except for each others’ sanity,” Victoria snickered, then waved as Amy finally finished off her rampage and floated back over, panting and covered in sweat and still amalgamated with the being that used to be Shaper.

“We’re siblings, of course we destroy each other’s sanity,” Ziz deadpanned. “Hey there, Healers. How you feelin’?”

“Well, I’m tired and achy and drained and I feel like yelling at Carol until I cry myself to sleep but otherwise blowing up half a mountain range was pretty cathartic,” Amy deadpanned, while the former Shaper, now Raphael, split off and just grinned happily.

“That felt great! Actually shooting lasers and blowing things up for once instead of being confined to biokinesis was amazing!” Raphael chirped, clapping her hands joyously. “And having hands is fun!”

“Yelling at parents is cathartic,” Ziz agreed. “You need any cuddles after?”

“Probably yeah,” Amy nodded, grumbling as she tore open a portal and dived through, Raphael re-amalgamating with her as moral support. 

“Well, I guess I should go along too- don’t want Amy to blow up the house if Mom says something dumb,” Victoria sighed, splitting off from her own Shard- the Fragile One, now named Iofiel instead- and diving through her own portal.

“Hm. Guess that just leaves me n’ you,” Ziz muttered, staring at the clone of Victoria that was Iofiel, who mostly seemed like she was about to cry.

Iofiel nodded.

Ziz hummed.

Iofiel started crying.

“Shit shit shit-!”


	34. 6.4

“So how’s it going, sister?” Kokabiel asked, leaning against the wall and looking for all the world like he had no idea what he was doing.

Raziel snorted. “You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

“Was it that obvious?” Kokabiel shrugged.

“Considering that you look lost and the narration told me so, yes,” Raziel nodded, then tilted her head and shrugged as well. “Have you been on any weird hijinks lately? I feel like nobody’s been going on hijinks lately and it’s weirding me out.”

“Why do you think I looked you up?” Kokabiel shot back. “We need to  _ do _ something.”

“Like what?” Raziel huffed, crossing her arms and pouting a bit. “Everything’s already been done! All the Shards have been collected, I’ve been banned from making Zion and Eden into Angels, and there’s no one left to do weird things to without it just being harassment or assault!”

Kokabiel hummed. “...You know how I keep insisting that all Nachi needs is a tsundere?”

“... I don’t remember you ever saying that before but go on?” Raziel tilted her head slowly, raising her eyebrow at Kokabiel and motioning for him to keep speaking.

“So I only told Nachi,” the Terror Engine waved it off. “Details. My point is, Nachi could absolutely do with a tsundere, and I seem to recall a certain Shadow Stalker who fits the bill~!”

“.... I’m pretty sure bringing those two close together would just result in Nachi  _ murdering _ Shadow Stalker- who, by the way, I’m pretty sure has already had her powers removed,” Raziel huffed, shaking her head and grumbling. “Pretty sure it was Ziz who did it too. Either way- that redhead would honestly work better at this point, even if they’re  _ both _ psychotic bitches who need more therapy than half the rest of us combined.”

“Eh,  _ powers, _ ” Kokabiel waved his hand. “ _ You _ didn’t have any Powers attached to you, did you? You were always an Angel. Besides, it’s not like the Family hasn’t been giving out our own, heh, ‘powers’ out for, uh, since you three went on your Vacation actually...” He shrugged. “Anyway. Wanna go see what they’re up to?”

“What, the trio of belligerent teenage girls or someone else?” Raziel asked, then paused and hummed quietly. “Hmmm… actually, come to think of it, if we  _ do _ empower those three, that means we not only get new siblings, but we get to hold our authority over them for the rest of bexistence!”

“Nachi might kill us,” Kokabiel added, “but I’m  _ so _ taking the risk anyway. Away, my big sis!”

“Adventure!” Raziel cheered, and subsequently-

<>

“I have. A  _ bad _ feeling,” Nachiyliel deadpanned as she walked through Brockton’s mall with her two new siblings… along with the non-Angelic parent of said adopted siblings. Hm.

Carol Dallon, it seemed, was kind of a shit person.

“Ha ha funny bad, or oh shit bad?” Victoria asked, completely ignoring her mother as she walked along, hands in her pockets.

“The kind of bad feeling that’ll make me want to punch someone in the face,” Nachiyliel sighed. “Probably one of our new siblings.”

"So natural Cain Instinct, gotcha," Victoria nodded sagely. "It'll pass. I think." 

"I'm still here, you know," Carol and Amy complained in unison, before exchanging disgusted glances. "Stop copying me." 

“If it’s the kind of feeling I think it is, then no. It really won’t,” Nachiyliel continued her deadpan, huffing and crossing her arms and waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Honestly, I suspect Kokabiel will be around any moment now either to snitch or be the source of said feeling.”

No shoes were dropped.

“The narration is fucking with me,” Nachi sighed. “Great. I’ll have to prepare myself for surprises, then.” She looked at where Carol and Amy were glaring at each other. “Oh just hatefuck or something, the two of you are giving me a headache.”

“Wh- EXCUSE ME!?” Carol immediately screeched, glaring at Taylor with a taken aback stance. 

“That’s my mom you degenerate pervert!” Amy responded as well, making a disgusted face at both Nachi and Carol before pausing, looking back at Carol, and flushing brightly. “Stupid hormones can go die in a hole now thank you very much.”

“Amy!” Victoria gasped, affronted by the idea of Amy wanting to commit even more incest than usual.

“I have a thing for blondes with big tits and you had to have gotten your genes from somewhere!” Amy whined.

“... Nevermind, this is an even worse headache,” Nachiyliel deadpanned, summarily turning around and walking away so she wouldn’t have to deal with the three way shoutfest brewing behind her.

“I regret everything,” she groused.

“<>!”

“Why am I even here?” Madison asked blandly, looking between her... not friends. Not even ex-friends. Former acquaintances? And a pair of grinning idiots. “Seriously. I get it. I did a bad, and yes, that’s my B, but it wasn’t actually personal, you know? So why am I here?”

“How the fuck should I know? The only reason why any of us are here is because  _ those _ two dragged us here,” Sophia grumbled, pointing at said idiots with an irritable glare- not that she minded the fact that they dragged her out of juvie.

“...But I already apologized,” Emma moaned. “Personally, even! Were my crimes truly so heinous? Was I truly such a cad?”

“... Well one, kinda yeah, and two… kinda yeah,” Kokabiel deadpanned. “I mean in the grand scheme of things you didn’t end the world but you three  _ did _ bully Nachi for like two years and honestly that’s kind of a lot more personal than blowing up half a planet.”

“It’s a bitch eat bitch world out there,” Madison admitted. “I’m just enough of a pervert/degenerate that if I didn’t ingratiate myself, these two would have eaten me alive.” She gestured towards Emma and Sophia. “Basic survival, you know?”

“Well-” Kokabiel began, but the older Angel cut him off.

“Yeah,” Raziel agreed. “I know. I’m getting the feeling that you and I might just end up getting along better than I first expected...”

“Right,” Kokabiel decided. “Fine. I don’t care. Basically,” he told the three girls, “You’re here because I decided I wanted more Family around here, and also because I’m a force of chaos. Yeah, Nachi might kick all our asses for it later, but between you and me?”

He grinned. “Worth it.”

“... Wait what the fuck do you mean degenerate?” Sophia asked, staring at Madison, who suddenly paled and looked as though she wanted to be anywhere else at the moment. “Are we talking like, bondage shit or are we talking Specific_Protagonist on PHO-”

Madison paled further.

Emma’s eyes went wide as she flushed a brilliant scarlet and also suddenly looked as though she wanted to go jump into a lake and die.

“.... You’re shitting me.” Sophia muttered, palming her face and shuddering. “You’re telling me that  _ you’re _ SP? The single most fucked up degenerate pervert on PHO that isn’t an outright rapist, nazi, or pedophile?”

“Specific- wait.” Kokabiel  _ actually _ blinked. “ _ You’re _ the one who has been co-writing porn of us with Ziz? I  _ love _ your work!”

“... I don’t know whether to feel complimented, horrified, mortified, or embarrassed,” Madison murmured faintly, taking a few deep breaths to try and center herself while Emma studiously stared off at a nearby pigeon so she wouldn’t have to speak.

“.... I’d ask what the hell Emma’s doing at this point but I’m pretty sure her reaction means she’s been diddling herself to Madison’s godawful smut,” Sophia deadpanned, groaning and turning around so she could slam her forehead into the side of a wall. “I hate. My life. So much. Right now.”

“Would you say you hate this, and literally everything about this?” Raziel snickered. “You’ll fit right in.”

“I hate this. I hate this so much,” Emma whined, sinking to her knees and burying her face in her palms. “I hate literally  _ everything about this _ .”

“You and me both,” Madison groaned, banging her head against a different wall as she tried to force down her own mortification. “I think I just wanna straight up  _ die _ right now.”

“You don’t get to~!” Kokabiel sing-songed. He sidled up to Madison, pulling his trenchcoat (that he definitely wasn’t wearing a minute ago) open and offering a shiny red orb. “This one’s for you~!”

“... Is this some kinda drugs?” Madison asked, taking the orb hesitantly and staring at it strangely. “Because I’m not doing drugs in a shady parking lot behind an abandoned warehouse.”

“I dunno,” the former Endbringer answered. “Does ultimate power count as drugs? Because then it might be drugs. Otherwise no.”

“... Y’know come to think of it, it does induce some kind of euphoria,” Raziel shrugged, idly picking up Emma and dusting the other girl off before handing her a Core. “Though to be fair, suddenly having all of spacetime unfold before your eyes is kind of a rush no matter what.”

Sophia groaned. “Oh for fuck’s sake- just gimme one and let’s get this over with...”

“Aye aye!” Kokabiel grinned, and summarily whirled around… and smacked Sophia in the forehead with a Core. “Onward to adventure!”

“Adventure!” Raziel cheered, raising her hands gleefully as the light show began.

<>

“God damn it, Kokabiel,” Pestilence sighed, looking out over her three newest siblings. “I mean, being Pestilence was a good idea for this, I’d probably lose my temper otherwise, but... seriously? What made you think this was a good idea? ...What is it, Sophia?”

The girl in question lowered her hand. “Are you Mastering us?” she demanded. “You’re making me feel  _ things _ and I don’t like them one bit.”

“... Well if it’s arousal, I’m pretty sure that’s just some kind of weird quirk hardcoded into Angelic physiology. If it’s shame, then no I’m not Mastering you and you’re just a bitch,” Pestilence deadpanned, rolling her eyes at Sophia. “And if it’s both… well, that’s a lot to unpack there but let’s just throw out the entire suitcase.”

“Noted,” the teenager snarked.

“Right, well, I still kind of feel like beating you over the head with your own legs, so I’m going to go ignore this entire mess and leave their education up to you, little brother,” Pestilence clapped twice, turning about and patting Kokabiel on the head. “Other than confronting the source of my own traumas once I’m comfortable with it, I think we can safely end this entire thing soon.”

“.... End the vacation or-?” Kokabiel asked, waving idly at the vague space around them with a question mark almost visibly manifesting above his head. 

“Hmm…” Pestilence tapped her chin thoughtfully. “One more chapter sounds good. 

<>!”


	35. 6.5 (The End)

“And so,” Death declared, standing on a precipice and looking down below, “The journey is coming to an end.”

“I must admit to not imagining a story like this,” Famine agreed. “Not my fate, nor anyone else’s.”

“And I missed most of it,” War pouted. “How unfair.”

“I think I got the most complete experience,” Pestilence murmured, looking out from across the landscape before them. “And yet, it feels...  _ fitting, _ to have been here from the beginning to the end. And yet... it’s not  _ quite _ the end, is it?”

“Many threads left to tie up,” Death agreed. “Why don’t we, as a foursome, go and look in on them? It would be very narratively... appropriate, I feel.”

“The Four Horsemen walking through an ending?” War enthused. “I love it! Let’s go!”

“Where do we even start?” Famine asked, idly grasping the strings of fate and tugging them into view, casting his gaze out upon the greater universe and the beings found within. “There’s a lot to work through, after all.”

Death let out a curious hum. “I think,” she murmured, “We shall start...  _ here. _ ” She looked forth and down across time, settling on a particular threesome. “Where everything began. Let us look in on the Angels...”

<>

“Are- are we being watched right now?” Asuka asked, looking around idly as she, Kyuu, and Raziel sat around a table eating lunch. “Is someone watching us?”

“Just ignore it,” Kyuu sighed, waving her hand and leaning back in her chair. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“... Aight I guess,” Asuka shrugged, then sighed and tapped her fingers against the table. “Y’know, I know this vacation was supposed to be basically therapy for all of us but I can’t help but feel like I didn’t learn or grow much at all.”

“Did you stop trying to commit suicide every time there was a fight to be had?” Kyuu deadpanned.

“... I kinda just stopped throwing myself into actually dangerous fights, honestly,” Asuka admitted, then perked up. “... Oh. Huh.”

Raziel looked up. “Huh? I wasn’t listening. Whatup?”

“We were just talking about how this vacation was supposed to be therapy and out of all of us it actually seems like Kyuu was the only one to actually talk to someone about her problems,” Asuka answered idly. “What happened with you?”

“I got bored of coping with zany antics and ended up reading a lot of self help books,” Raziel responded, sighing a bit. “Turns out, talking to people and having proper coping mechanisms helps a lot with night terrors and depression.”

“Indeed,” Kyuu nodded.

“.... So what else is there to talk about?” Asuka asked, looking around idly with her hand on her chin. “I feel like  _ something’s _ been forgotten but for the life of me I can’t figure out what.”

“What became of your choker?” Kyuu asked back. “I seem to recall you coming back from the dead with a new accessory, but you don’t seem to have it anymore...”

“... I think it fell off the moment I actually stopped trying to kill myself and started talking to other people about my problems,” Asuka answered thoughtfully, rubbing her throat and frowning to herself as she tried to actually figure out when the last time she had said choker was. “... Or maybe it just unlocked and I took it off to sleep one night without noticing? It might just be in my jewelry box in my room.”

“Sure is a plot thread that didn’t pan out,” Bardiel mused. “Also, pretty sure I’m the thing you forgot about. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“No no, I’m pretty sure there was something else,” Asuka shook her head, then turned to frown at Bardiel. “Also, the only reason you were forgotten is because neither of us have gotten a lot of screen time recently  _ and _ you’ve decided that apparently all our downtime means you can just sleep for sixteen hours a day.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” the fungal colony shot back. “Sleep is  _ fantastic! _ ”

“I mean yeah, but if you’re gonna be a cat about it, you might as well just  _ be _ a cat,” Asuka deadpanned, rolling her eyes before perking up and snapping her fingers. “Aha! I just remembered what I was forgetting!

<>!”

“... Did she just-?” Famine deadpanned as the camera panned back to their group of four, sighing as he switched panes to a different setting. “Of course she did, let’s just- let’s just move on.”

“Should we pan over to the humans instead?” Pestilence asked, pulling up another screen, this one showing the PRT ENE office. “I mean, there’s not a  _ lot _ , but we can wrap up a lot of plot threads.”

“I wonder how Emily is doing,” Famine mused. “We must have caused a lot of headaches for her, these past few weeks...”

“Well, it looks like she’s finally retired now that there’s no more parahuman crime anymore,” Pestilence answered, holding up her screen and humming. “Coil died, the Travelers are back on Earth Aleph, Amy and Victoria are adopted and are currently defiling one of the bedrooms back on the Ark, New Wave is disbanded and the Dallons are going through therapy… uhhh… Alan Barnes tripped on a banana peel and sprained his ankle- serves him right, Armsmaster- or, I guess just Colin now- and Dragon are dating now that she’s human and he has spare time… the Birdcage is empty now thanks to Death-”

“You’re welcome,” Death smiled.

“- and uhhh…. yeah I’m not really sure what else we really need to look at. Zion and Eden are actually still around, but they’re basically just an amnesiac couple living in the middle of nowhere- er, Wyoming, so who cares…. The CUI is busted, Africa’s starting to calm down now that the warlords are all gone… Europe is fine, Asia’s fine… Ziz has a disturbing amount of fanart coming from Japan that I really wish I hadn’t just seen… yeah that’s about it.”

“So that’s it?” War asked. “This is the end? I’m going to miss this place.”

“Eh, don’t worry,” Famine consoled, ruffling War’s hair. “I’m sure we can make cameos and somesuch, in other stories. The multiverse is wide open, after all. There’s plenty to do.”

“But that’s elsewhere,” Death said. “Right here and right now, this story has reached its end. And I think I speak for all of us when I say it has been a  _ wild _ ride.”

“Wild,” War agreed.

“Wild,” Famine agreed.

“What a ride,” Pestilence agreed.

“And this is the end,” Death finished. “We thank you for reading.”


End file.
